Back To Charming
by InkandLies
Summary: Life was as good as normal for Alyssa Marie Knowles, a bartender from Vegas, but a call from her sister changed things forever. Will the hell in Charming send her right back? Or will a certain someone keep her planted? STORY GOES ALONG WITH SERIES FROM SEASON 3 AND UP. Rated M for language and other adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**-CHAPTER ONE**

Letting the steamy water hit her sore muscles, Alyssa let out a long tired sigh, today's events washing away along with the sweat and dirt. "God…. I need to get a different job." She spoke to no one but herself, being a bartender was never really what she wanted to do, just kind of happened, loving the club scene a little too much probably didn't help with that choice either, not having the heart to quit, like her sister. What a lucky and successful sister, Doctor no less, something their dead mother would have been beyond proud of, and then there was her, Alyssa Marie Knowles. Serving up perverts, taking crap from shitty bosses, even having to shake what her mother gave her for better tips, so yeah, wasn't a career that most mothers would really fully approve of. That being a small, -ish, price to pay when you loved being surrounded by drunken idiots and having too much self-respect to become a half-naked stripper.

Shutting off the shower, "I really should call Tara…." Alyssa sighed once more, it had been a few months since she had last seen her sibling, not since she helped Tara move back in their dad's place back in Charming, California but being as close as they were, the two always talked on the phone whenever Tara was off.

Referring back to that sweet, sweet Charming town, the place of so many memories, Alyssa was starting to miss the place, bad. It had been a few years being gone, leaving a year after her sister, a few days visit wasn't going to cut it, she needed some quality time. Alyssa had made that hard choice no one really wanted to make, leaving Charming and getting herself into a decent bar-tending school in Las Vegas, not too far away, but leaving somewhere you knew all your life was hard for almost anyone, especially when coming from a small town and try to get used to such a huge city.

Once drying off most of the wet from her body and long dark brown hair, Alyssa threw herself in bed, not bothering to wrestle her fat ass into clothes, she always prefer to be naked anyways, more natural, and picked up her cell phone. Checking the time and day, she knew that it was a ridiculous idea to try and call her sister, being both busy with work and her back on relationship with Jax and even adding Able to the mix. Oh sweet Jackson Teller, SAMCRO son, was always Alyssa's favorite boyfriend of Tara, handsome and funny as hell, perfect match for her sister.

Chuckling at the thought of the couple, Alyssa flipped onto her stomach, cuddling in the blankets, light brown eyes lying on the gray cat that jumped onto the bed and resting alongside the her body, an arm reaching over to pet it's head, the dark ink on her wrist flashing as she moved. The crow with a sickle in it's mouth forever engraved on her pale skin, open for anyone and everyone to see, that mark from her past always put a smile to her face, even on the hardest of days, reminding her SAMCRO, her childhood biker club.

Growing up with Jax Teller and Opie Winston, Tara and Alyssa stuck instantly to the boys, once coming to that respectful rebel age, like her sister, jumped happily into the club and the drama that came with it back in 1996, running havoc with the Sons, earning an amazing family and not soon after the stamp of loyalty that laid on her wrist today. Somewhere within all the thinking about the club and the dangerously amazing times back in that era, Alyssa fell asleep. It was her day off after all, why not sleep in and enjoy the rare sight of sunlight the next morning, for once.

* * *

It had really only seemed like an hour before the annoying sound of constant ringing and vibrations woke the woman up, anger filled her dry throat as she answer,

"Tara, it's my fucking day off… you know that I like to sleep until at least 12." The silence of the other line made her eyes open and her thick manicured brows smash together,

"Tar-" Alyssa immediately started,

"Able was kidnapped." Tara's weary voice snapped before she could finish.

Stomach instantly flipping, Alyssa shot up, scaring the cat away, "W-What the _fuck_ do you mean kidnapped!?" she almost yelled, voice cracking.

Alyssa has yet to meet Able but knows about him plenty, hearing him and seeing pictures, she automatically fell in love, knowing all too well that he wasn't Tara's by blood but with everything that had happened to that poor child and the couple proved that Tara was in fact his mother, and Alyssa his aunt.

"Able was kidnapped." Tara repeated and by the sound of her voice this time, she was a wreck and wasn't fucking around.

"Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck! I-I…. I'm coming over, immediately; you better open that fucking door!" Was all she spat before packing up whatever she would need, looks like she was going to get that quality time in Charming after all. Racing down the familiar road, Alyssa started with her calls, work was the first one, explaining the family trouble and earning her vacation time early, no fucking way she'd be coming back to work with all that was happening. Hanging up after many thanks, her next call would be to Jax,

pressing the phone hard against her ear, knowing it would be by luck this man would answer, "Please…. I just need to tell you I am coming." She whispered to no one in particular. Momentarily moving her eyes from the road to the rear view mirror, watching the gray cat curled against the rear window, that feline was her heart and soul, never leaving him if she planned on being somewhere for more than a week, good thing he liked to travel.

"What…" murmured the other line, broken and weak, Jax sounded just as bad as she felt, even worse,

"Jackson, Tara told me. I'm coming over; I really need to know what happened." She demanded, earning a small wounded animal sound in response and a deadline from the other end.

Good, he didn't scream, he knew Alyssa wouldn't change her mind when it came to family, he'd been around her too many years to argue her down. Almost as vicious as the Queen of Sons, Gemma, when it came to family and protecting what was blood Alyssa was there and would never back down and with the hours ahead of her and much time to think about all that could happen, the dangers that could harm that child, it hit Alyssa hard, it was going to be a long night to get to that fucked up town.

The sudden ringing of her phone after a few hours of silence caused her to jump a bit, answering quickly, "A few members will be waiting for you as you come into town." Jax replied and boy, did he need sleep, she knew not one of them would be getting much of it though. The remaining hours passed like years, when the sky finally started to shine once more, Alyssa drove nonstop, coffee and energy drinks keeping the shaken woman awake and alert the whole eight hours.

* * *

Reaching the border only a few more hours later, like Jax had instructed, she parked on the side of the road, silencing the engine as she jumped her body out of the metal monster. Nothing said bad ass like a loud and lifted black dodge ram and with her new body and confidence, she was indeed one bad ass lady. Arms folding under her instantly noticeable large rack as she waiting for any sign to reach her in the wait and within a few minutes, the sweet and oh so very familiar roar of bikes echoed through the air, a huge smirk spread across her cheeks. As the sight of four bikes appeared from the distance, her smirk turned into a smile, she couldn't help wonder just who was going to be escorting her.

Once the four bikes silence in front of the leaning lady, a quick laugh escaped her lips as a few familiar faces appeared from under the helmets. "Opie, Chibs, AND Happy!?" Alyssa yelled in delight, arms unfolding as she made her way, almost running, over to the men as they dismounted their bikes, well, all but one.

"No fucking way, Alyssa, is that YOU?" the bearded, beanie wearing man spoke closing the distance with a bear hug, happy and Chibs following close behind. Opie Winston earned the first hug, out of the three men, he was the one she had known the longest,

"Aha, yeah, it's me Op. Not the fat cow from all those years ago!" She spoke with even more delight, beyond ecstatic to show off her hard work and determination with a new body.

"You look great, Jax mentioned you lost some weight on your last visit. Vegas really did you good." Opie barked with a huge smile of his own, petting at her head, he was always the sweetest.

"You were big, but cow? Nahhh baby." The coarse raspy voice filling her open space as Opie pulled back, Happy Lowman pulling her into another great hug, followed by a dramatic checking out and whistles has he stepped back a few paces.

"Ha, thanks Hap. I know, I know, I look fucking good." Alyssa spilled with a laugh and a few playful giggles before rolling her light brown hues, happily turning to Chibs Telford, she was serious with her words though, and losing over eighty pounds will do that to a woman, pushing her confidence through the roof.

"Aye' Lassy! You've always looked good, you're just happier now and a smile is always pretty." The Scottish accent only pushing her smile wider, no one was more on her good side than Chibs, something about that Scottish man made her heart leap with joy, he was one of her best friends no doubt. "Chibby." Alyssa mewled, snuggling into his chest as a child did to a father, quick words passing the laughing group before Opie turned to his side,

"Oh right. Lyss' this retard smiling at nothing is Juice." Opie added, motioning to the man leaning on his bike away from the group. "Come on Juicy Boy! Don't be shaye!" Chibs yelled, waving the guy over, eyes darting from Chibs as he yelled back to the guy as he slipped his helmet off and headed over to the beaming group with a quick jog.

A silent breath escaped her lips once he had reached the group and slid his sunglasses off, turning his attention to her after a quick, "How's it going guys?" escaped his curled lips, hot damn. He was a looker; those gorgeous tatted, tone arms, broad shoulders that fulled out the tight shirt he bore, tattooed up head, and even the hairdo was attractive, his whole domineer was fucking attractive.

"Helloooou." Alyssa smiled wider, feeling a slight burn to her cheeks, 'Am I really blushing? What a tool.' she thought, extending her hand to him, however once Alyssa had caught wind of that panty soaking smile spread wide across his face her breath caught in her throat, the extending arm almost melting back to her side, 'Okay. Yeah. He's a god.' She mewled in her head, that smile was gold and she'd be damned to not try and see it again. With an extending arm on his part and a not so swift glance to her chest, Juice gripped her hand firmly.

"Hello. Nice ride." Juice replied in an almost heavenly voice, shit, with that smile and that voice, this Juice guy was going to be the end of her, she already knew. 'Why does SAMCRO patch in the most attractive bad asses.' she sighed into her head, almost saddened when he released her hand, someone had snapped her out of a daze when they cleared their throat, and within that same instant, she realized she was just staring at him, she shook her head, nodding a bit at him and looking back to her ride.

"Ahh... yeah! Thanks, this baby is always my savior when I travel." After shutting her mouth, a sudden sharp pain of guilt shot at Alyssa's chest as she quickly remembered why she was traveling in the first place, making the sweet reunion and meetings wash away her smile. "Alright boys… take me to my sister..." Her now deflated body walking slowly back to her truck.

Another wave of silence took over as she followed the guys from her father's place, to drop off the cat, to Jax's home, the new residence for her sister. "Thanks guys…" Alyssa spoke weakly as she reached the men, giving a small smile before turning to the beautiful but broken home, waving one last time before they took off, back to the clubhouse most likely.

Hesitating slightly before knocking on the door, nothing could prepare her heart from dropping once she had full sight of her sister and that motherly protective instinct of hers, forced Tara into her arms, "Hey TayTay…. I'm here..I'm here.." She whispered with silent tears, walking into the house with her older sister still wrapped protectively in her arms. Taking a quick look around of the home as she closed the door behind them, finding the kitchen, "You make coffee yet?" Alyssa replied as she sat Tara in a chair at the dining table, nodding slightly as Tara shook her head from side-to-side.

* * *

Hours passed by in silence after what had happened the day before spilled from her sisters lips, sipping her now third cup of coffee, staring straight into the hallway, the only place she was comfortable with, anywhere else could bring her eyes straight down to the remaining stain of dried blood from the Prospect on the tile. Alyssa had gotten a quick glimpse of Jax an hour ago, as he walked from the bathroom to what she guessed as Able's room, he didn't take notice to Alyssa's presence in the house, nor did he bother to leave his son's room at any point once inside, but who cloud blame him? His son was gone and she knew he needed some space from people who he hadn't seen in a few years.

A bang to the front door caused both women to jump, Tara quick to her feet, a low but familiar enough voice boomed from the other side, Clay Morrow, the club's President. After a word from Tara, the boys she had seen before spilled into the house, followed by the President and Bobby, keeping her place in the kitchen as most of the men dashed into Able's room, Bobby slipping into the kitchen with a phone call, only nodding in Alyssa's direction. Nodding once in return as she listened to the voices of the men in the room down the hall, watching as Tara talked to Clay, answering one of the many question that hovered in her mind, '_he's been like this since it happened._'

The pain of losing a child was one she never wanted to feel and watching Opie carry Jax from the baby's room into the bathroom only made her grip on the coffee mug tighter, causing her finger tips to turn white. Dropping her eyes to the tiled floor of the kitchen as members started to spilled into the room to wait for their next move, Clay's voice in the living room and the muffled sounds of the shower were the only sound passed around during this moment. Alyssa's legs starting to shake, the lack of sleep, caffeine, and nerves were not a good mix, plus she had been staring at the blood stain for far much longer than she should have been, boots hitting the tile forced her eyes up, moving from her seat as the President appeared into the room, a stern look hitting his face once seeing her,

"Hey 'Lyss, fancying seeing you here." He joked poorly, only causing a small smile on her puffy face, moving close for a small hug,

"Where's Gemma..?" she murmured as they parted ways, only seeing the pain enter into his eyes at the mention of his queen,"Later." He added before crossing the kitchen to place himself by Bobby, only to be moved seconds later as Tara nervously asked from for a moment.

Small chatter from a few member and silence, more silence hit the kitchen as the two left, Alyssa's eyes following her sisters every move until they disappeared into the baby's room. "It's nice to see you Alyssa." Bobby finally spoke, catching her attention, snapping her out of some sort of caffeinated daze, "You too Bobby, you too..." She sighed out, sides of her mouth twitching into something of a smile, she really wasn't in the mood for speaking, something they were all too familiar with.

Eyes flickering up at any slight movement in the hall, Clay emerging at the same time as Jax before disappearing once more, Clay walking back into the kitchen, Tara must have been talking to Jax because she stayed in Able's room with him. Jax was soon storming out of the house, not saying a word, after a little while in the room, a bike's roar echoed in the house not soon after, causing her to stand up from her seat, only running down the hall when the sound of things being thrown and her sister's growling hit her ears.

"Tara!" Alyssa yelled, watching as her sister wrecked the baby's room, "W-What the fuck are you _doing_!?" She yelled, grabbing her sister's wrist as she yanked a shelf down, only being caught off guard by her sister's tears.

"He wants me to leave Charming!" She wailed, ripping Alyssa's hands off her wrists. "He wants us BOTH to leave!" She snapped loudly, causing even more confusion to rush through Alyssa's body.

"Wha-" Alyssa started,

"He blames me for all of this!" Tara wailed once more before dropping on the floor, sobbing her eyes out, utter sorrow replaced Alyssa's body with her sister's words, god did she miss the confusion already.

Dropping down next to her broken sister, arms squeezing against Tara's huddled and shaking body, "He would never blame you Tay…. That man loves you too much to feeling that way…He just needs time." Alyssa shush, petting her sister's back a few times before a few guys poked their heads in from the hall, checking if it was over. A silent shake of Alyssa's head and tear damped face told them all the answers they needed to know before they retreated and disappeared from of the house, probably after Jax.

After what seemed like an hour of just holding her broken older sister, Tara sighed, lifting herself up from her hunched position, Alyssa followed, keeping quiet. "I have to go to the police station… Talk to them about what I saw." Tara spoke, pushing past her sister, heading into the bathroom. Hearing the shower relaxed Alyssa, a hand reaching up to the bridge of her nose, pitching the bone hard with her thumb and pointer finger,

"What's going on mama'….?" Alyssa asked the air, pushing herself to plop onto the cough with a loud sigh.

* * *

Not realizing that she had fell asleep, Alyssa jumped to the sound of Tara speaking, "Oh- never mind... you must be exhausted. Just sleep and I'll be back in a little while." Tara replaced her words with a sling of her purse, heading for the door. "Wait, I'm coming with. You know I can't sleep very long without Leo anyways."

Pushing herself up and behind her sister, she gave a weak, tired smile before nodding to her sister to head out the open door, "You and that damn cat." Tara laughed lightly, walking ahead. Alyssa's consciousness faded every few minutes on the way to the Police Station, only causing Tara to throw guilty looks at her sister every now and again, "You sleep, I'll be out soon." Tara's voice barely made it into her sister's brain before she nodded tiredly, just accepting the words she thought Tara had said, pushing the seat all the way down and covering her eyes with some sunglasses she found, Alyssa was out within seconds.

.

Tara's voice woke Alyssa in the car, but the sound of another woman snapped her eyes open, turning to the opposite side, Alyssa's eyes filled with the torsos of two women as they reached the side of Tara's car, not moving much more while she listened to their conversation.

"I can't believe you still have a badge after what you did to Gemma." Alyssa's obviously pissed off sister barked back, Gemma's name caught more than Alyssa's attention now, she was alert and ready to fully process the information she was about to hear. Being without sleep can make a woman pissed off but the second you piss Alyssa off with the mistake of messing with her flesh and blood, there was no stopping the storm that was to follow, Alyssa knew her sister could kick ass and defend herself but something broke within her when that woman slammed Tara's car door after Tara had opened it to escape the conflict early.

"Oh hell no." Alyssa started as she opened her own door,

"Alyssa, stay in the car." Tara's pissed tone caused Alyssa to pause, but ignored the demand, standing put, Alyssa stared daggers into the woman at her sister's side.

Tara had regained control by getting in the woman's face and telling her to keep away from her family, a threat both siblings could agree on, "I won't listen to my sister next time you get in her face, bitch." Alyssa hissed from her spot at the passenger side as the two women stared off, this only granted Alyssa her own glare from the other woman before Tara slipped into the car, demanding her sister back inside, lunging at the woman slight before following orders. "What a cunt." Alyssa added before nodding in Clay's direction, she had just noticed he was there the whole fight, side-by-side with Unser as they left parking lot, 'hmmm' hummed from Tara in response to Alyssa's new label on the other woman.

"So… what happened to Gemma?" Alyssa's question filling the car as they rode own the streets of charming.


	2. Chapter 2

**-CHAPTER TWO**

Only a few hours of sleep had not been good enough for Alyssa and having to go to a funeral was even worse, she didn't know the prospect the service was for but he tried to protect her sister and Able, least she could do was thank him before he was gone. A shower and a quick shimmy into a pair of dark jeans and a simple formal black shirt, Alyssa pulled on a coat before heading out, funerals were hard on anyone but having the club together on such a day made it better, just a little happier for the grieving family over the loss of a brother.

Pulling up and parking pretty far back, Alyssa slowly made her way trough the crowd outside, spotting her sister outside next to Jax, good, they seemed like they worked out whatever it was that need fixing, and even better for Alyssa since she felt better being around both of them.

"Hey Tay, Jax." She spoke as she reached the couple, "..'Lyss… good to see you." Jax smiled weakly, his eyes apologetic,

"Jackson, you have a lot of shit going on, I don't need an apology, forget it." Alyssa sighed with a small smile, pulling the sad sap into a tight hug, patting his shoulders and releasing him, the sisters talked for a little while Jax light cigarette on fire, smoking it quickly before following the women inside.

Nodding and smiling sadly at the new faces inside, not long before reaching the room with the casket setup in, Alyssa stop by the door frame though, watching all the men morning over their brother, '_god he must have been a good kid..._' Alyssa thought, her heart stinging at the sight, no one deserves to die, especially the ones so young. A few faces turned around after their silent prayers, nodding at her as they slipped past her and disappearing into the crowd, her eyes scanning the remaining backs before Opie turned to leave, meeting up with a blonde woman, hugging her before they got lost in idle chatter, Donna had been killed a few months back and that had been a completely new hole added to the many in her soul when she found out, Donna was a good woman. Alyssa smiled sadly at the pair as they caught her gaze, nodding at both of them as the woman waved, she really wanted to get to know his new lady, she seemed sweet enough and Opie was always good a judging the women he chose to be with.

"Hey." A voice called out to her, Alyssa was lost in thought the moment Opie and the woman had disappeared, her sadness was taking over quickly and she was glad that someone was going to distract her from it. Turning to meet the sad drenched eyes of Juice, her frown deepened, she didn't like this version of him, sadness and pain just didn't look right on his happy features, her eyes darting behind him, movement from her sister and Jax as they move closer to the casket, watching them stop before returning her attention back to the man.

"Hey...Juice, was it? You...um.. Are you going to be okay?" Alyssa questioned, a hesitant hand touching his shoulder for comfort, giving it a small rub with her thumb, her eyes trained on him all the while. A sad half smile draped his cheeks before he nodded, dropping his eyes to the floor, defeated, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck before he looked up once more.

"Yeah, thanks." He mumbled out weakly, placing a hand over the one she kept on his shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze before walking around her. If this day wasn't so miserable, she might have burned at his touch, been happy to make some sort of contact, but nothing stays real happy at a funeral.

Placing a hand on either side of Tara's shoulders as she made her way over to her sister who had slumped down and prayed against the prospect's tomb, Alyssa closed her eyes to give her own respect. "Thank you for protecting my family…" Alyssa whispered silently to the casket as Tara stood from her spot, slipping a hug to Clay before walking out, Alyssa touched the back of each man before walking out herself, following to her sister's side.

A few moments of laughs and smiles filled the room as everyone mingled about, Alyssa even getting to meet and chat with Opie's new old lady, Lyla, the night wasn't going to be completely ruined, we as a family will get through this together. The cool air hit her cheeks as she slipped outside, a small crowd had broken down near her and she felt it most respectable to not stare and just leave them to morn in peace, letting out a small huff, 'I'll need to drink myself to sleep if this continues.' thought spilling into her mind as she enjoyed the chilled wind that assaulted the air, the feelings of these past few days draining her high spirited personality.

Alyssa's eyes scanned around after a while, she had gone inside to find a familiar face and was met with none only to retreat back into the night, her brown hues perked as she locked eyes with Happy, '_finally.._' she sighed.

He was with everyone a few yards away and that only made her rush quicker to their side, a smile on her face. "Hey Hap." She spoke as she slipped into his open arms, "Get lost baby?" the coarse voice asked, the 'baby' not even fazing her, how could it when he had called her that for years.

"Yeah actually, thanks for getting my attention, I was about to head home if I didn't find anyone." She muttered as she left his side, being met only by those sweet, sweet eyes,

"Juice." She added with a slight waved, finding herself in step with him as everyone walked, Happy to her one side, Clay to Juice's other,

"Alyssa." He nodded politely, hands in his leather's pockets, eyes up ahead after greeting her, he was silent and that was perfect, chatting wasn't on her mind right now. "I need a drink…" She spilled, rethinking and sharing her past thought, something about him made her want to talk, even though they really didn't have to, this only causing a slight laugh and head shake from Juice,

"Sounds perfect right now." He countered back, a slight smile shining her way, sure it wasn't his full but it was still something special, making her cheeks poke hot, feeling like there being no reason to blush, she looked away eyes landing on a passing van. Her brown eyes widen as the doors flung open, men in mask moving quickly, pointing their guns as the door opened wider, utter terror flushed her features as the bullets started to spray.

A drive by.

Alyssa's mouth opened in shock right as the bullets scatted across the people, the sound of screaming, gunfire, and just utter hell broke through within minutes, bodies dropping from either being hit or taking cover. All the air and complete control had left her body, frozen in place, eyes dancing on the people as more and more hit the ground, '_move!_' she yelled in her mind, '**_MOVE!_**' her head screaming louder, this wasn't like her, her usually quick moving feet were cemented in place, of all times, of all places.

A strong force slammed her down to the floor as a spray of bullets passed by their area, sudden rush of unimaginable pain hitting her left thigh, "I….I've… been shot…" Alyssa gasped into the floor, she didn't really comprehend what was happening, what had happened, but one could put two and two together, bullets equal pain, a lot of it.

"Fuck!" boomed from above her, pulling her up with a slight force, Juice's worried face appearing and disappearing with every throb of pain, forcing her face to contort. "Tara!" Juice yelled after seeing Alyssa's jeans starting to darken from the crimson liquid spilling from the wound,

"Alyssa's been shot!" if yelling her name didn't get her attention, then the mention of her sister was sure to force Tara to snap into action.

"The bullet grazed your thigh pretty good….but you'll be okay." Tara's professional domineer showing even with all the chaos around, shooting an apology with her eyes any time Alyssa had yelled out in pain with any contact to the wound, the bullet had made a pretty deep gash opening the surface enough for what was supposed to be inside to make an appearance, luckily not hitting the muscle.

"We need to get to the hospital, I need to stitch it up as soo-" another round of yells forcing everyone's attention to the road, Tara quickly rushing to get a better look. Alyssa tried to keep her eyes on her sister through the pain, wanting to keep an eye out, quick to yell if anything was going to happen again, now that she was ready,

"is that Hale..?" Juice asked, as a clearing of people moved away from the scene, a uniformed mess lying in the middle of the road.

The sight of blonde hair jumping off a ledge and into the streets caught Alyssa's attention, "Jax!" She cried, whatever was happening, Jax running anywhere meant something horrible. With the name of his VP in the air, Juice's eyes darted from Alyssa and following her stare of desperation, "Come on!" he yelled, quickly grabbing Alyssa into his arms, rushing to the scene, gently placing her back on the ground next to Tara's side. Watching Jax smash one of the shooters face into the ground before a few brothers pulled him off, screaming.

* * *

"FUCK!" She screamed, balling tight fists.

Alyssa wasn't the best person when it came to pain, quick to cry once a fight was over and she alone; she wasn't weak, not really, won plenty of fights and lost plenty of them too, but either had always coxed a good sobbing from her sore body that night or morning after. Finger pressing the shit out of the emergency button that was attached to her hospital bed,

"I need morphine you fucking shit!" she screeched as they nurse opened the door, "Honestly Miss Knowles, you got shot in the leg, it's stitched up and you'll be fine." Really, that was the last thing she had wanted to hear.

"I'll be fucking damned! Want me to shoot you in the fucking leg to find out just how much it really hurts, bitch?!" Like a bat out of hell, Alyssa was a bit over dramatic when it came to pain but even a headache would leave her in bed for a whole day if she wasn't medicated, her body so used to using drugs to numb anything. "Alright, Alright." The nurse sighed, disappearing from the room, sighing to herself while closing her eyes, she took a few breaths itching to just calm the fuck down, with the sound of the door opening again, she smiled,

"That was quick sweethea-" opening her eyes to meet a familiar President and others as they spilled into her room. "Oh, now I'm sweetheart? Flattered but married, happily." Clay poked, receiving a glare in response, it's like the club could feel when someone was upset, bringing the party everywhere they went.

"Glad you're okay weeh' lass!" Chibs boomed, kissing her forehead, "Eh. I'll be fine… you guys know how I am with pain, I'll be set once I'm in bed with the sweet, sweet meds." She murmured out with a sigh, getting a few guys to shake their head and others laugh. "You gotta' be careful with that shit 'Lyss." Happy replied uneasy, he was the one who forced her to throw up when she took one too many pills one drunken night back at the club some years ago, first and last time doing that one, she never wanted that killer's finger in her mouth again.

"I know, dad. I'll keep you proud." She mewled, looking up at Happy mockingly, but he knew she was serious, he threatened that she would be another smiley face on his body if he caught her like that again and really? Who can defy a killer, certainly not her.

"Alright boys, let's go visit Chucky and brighten his day." Clay smirked, pointing at the door after giving Alyssa a quick hug, each man following his example by giving her a hug before leaving, until Juice was last to exit.

Standing by her bed, looking over the machines and tubes attached to her, Juice cleared his throat, expecting the words to slip and hit the silence, "uh… um… thank you Juice, for moving me out of the way, that is." She started first, breaking the horrible awkwardness that hit the two, her words seeming to perk him out of the nervous daze, but any less awkward.

"Oh, yeah... no problem. I couldn't just let you get shot." He replied, realizing what had slipped out, "But.. uhh.. you did anyways.. so uh, I failed, kind of. Okay. Shutting up." With a lift of a finger and the actions of opening and closing his mouth, he gave up, shaking his head. "Sorry… I don't have a filter or an off button." Besides the obvious tension he was creating, Alyssa laughed, a real good hearty laugh,

"You know… you're really funny. I'm not going to bite the head off the guy who saved my life you know? Stop being so damn nervous." Once that had been said and that amazing lopsided grin showed itself once more, Alyssa's mood only brightened, cheeks turning hot. Feeling her own blush, she let another laugh spill from her lips before waving him off, "The guys are probably waiting, run along Juicy." And with a quick nod and slight laugh he was gone, leaving her in the hands of the nurse and sweet, sweet morphine.

* * *

A few days later, Alyssa walked stiffly from the hospital doors, being checked out before midnight, the darkness of the fading day hiding most of the town. Huffing as she leaned her ass against a table, the trip from her room to the waiting area outside took more out of her than a long day at work, changed and clutching her few weeks' worth of morphine tablets, she had heard from a nurse that one of the Prospects was going to pick her up in a few minutes. A bit peeved that she had only been visited by the boys that one afternoon, no one was answering their cell, she was tired as hell, and her leg was killing her, Alyssa just couldn't wait to get to her cat and her bed. "Really, not a single person is answering, I want to go home!" she whined, shoving her cell back into her pocket, the back of her other hand rubbing the sleep away from her tired eyes, trying to keep herself occupied by kicking a stone with her better leg.

An hour passed before the sound of bikes hit the air, mixed along with a blasting alarm from the ambulance's sirens, "What the fuck….?" She whispered, the sounds of bikes was a little disturbing, seeing as the prospect drove the van, and if those said bikes were following the ambulance, then someone important was inside. Walking as fast as she could back to the front of the hospital, Alyssa silently hoped that the roaring of bikes was of the few other MCs in town, but with all the other shit that was happening, of course, the reaper was all she saw in the night.

"What's going on!?" Alyssa wailed, watching as Gemma's unconscious body was quickly rolled into the building, Clay not far behind, ignoring everything and keeping his attention on his queen. Confusion and panic hit Alyssa's tired body, burning her insides, "J-Jax?! Tara!" she yelled, seeing the next wave of people following into the building,

"Alyssa! Oh my god… what are you doing outside!?" Tara whined, steadying her sister's off balanced body as they reached one another,

"Don't change the subject, what's going on!?" Alyssa demanded, "… and why haven't you answered your cell!?" Alyssa spat once more, darting her eyes from the building to her sister,

"We don't know yet, Gemma just collapsed, let's go inside, I'll explain everything in there once we have the answers." Tara pushed, following everyone back into the building.

Tara had disappeared into Gemma's room after a few nurses begged for more hands, leaving Jax pacing back and forth, Clay clenching and un-clenching his hands, and a few brothers shaking Alyssa's nerves by their constant moving legs. Forcing herself to peel her eyes away from all the moving, Alyssa pushed against a wall trying to keep her breathing steady, grabbing the base of her thigh, it was way past the time to take her medication and the pain from her stitches was throbbing at her temple.

"The prospect didn't take you home?" Opie's questioning tone hit the silence as he caught sight of her hunched body, moving her head so she could train her eyes on him, watching him as he lifted from his seat, "Don't move, I'm not going home and I can stand, I'll be fine." She managed with a weak smile, waving his attention away, and ignoring the other's look of pity.

* * *

"Good news is that Gemma didn't have a heart attack, it was an abnormal arrhythmia." A nurse answered as she had appeared into the room after what seemed like ages, leading Clay back to check on the queen bee and answer a few questions, "She's stabled but still unconscious, we'll let her rest." Tara replied as she slipped from Gemma's room, helping calm every body that had occupied the room. Jax had moved into Tara for a hug, thanking her for the help and kissing her goodbye as she left to get ready, "I need to change, you sure you don't want me to take you home? You look exhausted." Tara asked as she reached her sister on the wall, "No… I hate not being around when things like this happen, I want to stay… at least until Gemma wakes up." Alyssa spilled through tired lips, "I'll see you soon, Doc." She smiled up at her worried sister before Tara disappeared.

A few hours had gone by before her sister walked back into the room, waving her hellos before going back to work, sighing heavily as her sister left, her head pushing against the wall at the same moment, arms folding across her body,

"Long week?" asked a voice that had been long since absent,

"Hey tiggy, and you tell me? How's your bullet hole?" She laughed quietly, brown hues meeting up with the curly haired brother,

"I'll live." He replied with his own muffled laugh, joining her against the wall, him being unlucky enough to not get to a seat sooner. Everyone joining back into an uneasy silence, listening to the VP pour a cup of coffee.

A walking cut caught Alyssa's attention after a few minutes, Bobby, walking past everyone to get to Jax, asking about Gemma before whispering something to Jax and nodding to the hall, everyone lifting to their feet with one word from Jax, leaving her alone with her thoughts. "Good, I'm taking a seat." She laughed, watching the men spill into the Hospital's chapel from her seat, stealing Opie's spot.

"Where's Jax?" Tara's voice wondered at the lone woman, Alyssa pointing down the hall, "Official club business." She smiled, watching another body leave her side and down the hall.

Nodding as Jax and Tara returned only moments later, going back to Gemma's room, with all the people going back and forth, Alyssa decided being alone wasn't what she wanted. Walking stiffly to the chapel, peering in before opening the door, "Hey guys… I don't want to be alone out there." She confessed, slumping against the wooden door, looking over the faces peering at her as they stopped talking.

Nervousness hit her quickly, was the club business still going on even after the VP left? "Oh, did I interrupt? I'm sorry, I'll go back." Nervous laughter escaping her, she had thought she was doing a good job at hiding it until Chibs and Opie started laughing,

Chibs waving her inside, "Aye' lass, we're done talkin', come en." A smile hit her face quick as she slipped inside, standing next to Opie who was standing himself. "How are you feeling?" Opie asked resting his arm around her shoulder, "I'm tired as fuck, leg is heavy, and I'm in pain. I'm perfect." She laughed, nudging his side with an elbow, "How's everything with Lyla?" she grinned, Opie was like a big brother, protecting her whenever she had been scared as a kid, helping her find the strength she never knew she had once joining the club with her sister, the two held a very special bond and making sure he was happy was always important to her.

Chatting away with all the brothers, few laughs and finding out exactly why Trager got shot, everyone had something to say, except Juice, his lack of participation caught Alyssa's attention, she watched as he messed with his gloved hands, wondering what was so special about them to keep his attention so greatly. Watching him so closely, she seemed to get lost with his features, there was something new to see every time she saw him and she was completely attracted to the way he looked when he was concentrating on something, but any thought of him snapped from her when someone had cleared their throat, forcing everyone's attention, including Juice's, to the culprit, Trager.

"Stop undressing him with your eyes 'Lyss, sheesh!" He exposed with a chuckle, nodding up at Alyssa while slapping Juice on the shoulder. A sharp inhale caused saliva to hit the wrong pipe, causing Alyssa to cough, giving her the perfect opportunity to force her quickly burning cheeks to face down towards the floor, "…..I-I…I! I wasn't u-undressing Juice, Tig!" she spat, turning to the doors instantly after, not wanting to face a single person in that room, "Someone take me home!" She whined, feeling her cheeks burn so hot to the point of stinging her eyes.

Once out of the chapel and into the hall, the room boomed with laughs and with that Alyssa forced her legs to continue down the hall and to the front door, she never took teasing very well.

"Alyssa, wait!" Tig yelled behind her after she had found herself by the bikes, "I was kidding!" He apologized with a huff, catching his breath as he reached the glaring woman, "You'd never eye fuck that retard, we all know that!" He spilled with a laugh,

"God, you're just horrible." She sighed, shaking her head, watching as Juice and Bobby followed, reaching the two in no time, "I just want to go home." She sighed out again, keeping her eyes on anything but Juice.

"okay, alright, enough games. We'll follow Tig to your house, we have to go somewhere near by anyways." Bobby spoke, glaring at the confused Trager, "What? Why me?" He protested, causing Alyssa to gasp,

"Oh, what? Have an issue with little ol' me?" she joked, "Really, I'm having the issue here, I don't want to ride bitch with anyone, especially with you." This being said granted Alyssa a nudge to the rib and laughs from the three sons.

The wind that flew through her long dark locks calmed her body and soul, a bike ride always bringing her back to the best times of her life, "It's just another left and we'll be there." She spoke, Tig nodding in response, her attention going back to her head and the road, Charming was a perfect temperature this time around and was never more beautiful, just more closed signs, a lot more, her eye's scanned the town harder, seeing many places of her childhood close and empty, it made the beautiful down lonely.

* * *

"Thank you guys, really." Alyssa mewled, being so close to bed was getting her rather excited and she really just wanted to get inside, but she also loved the guys more than enough to give proper farewells. Hugging Trager after slipping off his bike, patting his shoulder once before moving to Bobby, "Bring those titties over here!" bombed the older man, beckoning arms opened wide,

"I'm still jail-bait to you old man, keep it in your pants!" She joked, wiggling into his arms while they both laughed, Alyssa poked at Bobby's beer belly for another goodbye, stepping away and looking over at Juice.

She really didn't know him that well but she felt it would be rather rude to not say goodbye, especially after he had saved her, that deserved a hug, right?

"Umm... I'm just going to hug you now, okay?" Alyssa blurted after a slight awkward silence, arms wrapping around his neck, pulling herself into him, once settled and arms gently wrapped around her in return, she finally letting go of the breath she didn't know she had held. It felt so warm, right really, but that only scared her, after a few moments she pulled away,

"Okay, bye." Was all she could muster before turning around and walking as quickly as her legs would take her, waving away the bikes as they roared. "God! There really is no place like home." She yelled, slipping carefully out of her clothes and walked into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water to take with the pills. Covers and a clingy cat was her only source of warmth, slipping very comfortably into a medicated sleep, thinking of everything and nothing before it was just silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**-CHAPTER THREE**

With a loud groan, Alyssa stretched as she stood straight up, sweat sticking her long dark locks to her face, she hated nothing more than cleaning and with the new wound, she hated it even more,"Jax… you piece…" She murmured, walking stiffly to the kitchen, placing her dishes in the sink.

Tara had called a few hours ago, saying she would be staying the night and that her relationship with Jax was done after she had found him in bed with some porn star. There would be no end to the lecture if an already worked up Tara had seen the house, but Alyssa had plenty to argue, with all that had happened she had to time to clean, but she'd rather just avoid the whole thing all together.

Right on schedule, Tara had been there at the time she had mentioned, "Oh! You added some color to your hair again? Looks nice." Tara gasped out as Alyssa opened the door, she had visited an old friend in the town's salon yesterday, only going in for a chat but leaving with her teen years slapping her back in the face, leave it to that stylist to make a girl feel young again,

"Just like old times huh?" Laughing out, Alyssa beckoned Tara inside.

After getting Tara's old room back in order, the two had time alone, after all the time that had been taken, it was nice to have a little bonding time, catching up, watching TV and even getting a free check up on her leg, happy to know that her leg was healing like it was supposed to. Alyssa smiled, poking her older sister's forehead as she re-patched her sister's wound,

"They'll find him you know…. and then you and Jax will be fine, like always." Huffing slightly, Tara sat on the chair next to her sister,

"I don't know. I really think he hates me… How can you say that after all this crap?" Tara addressed, her face being hidden behind her hands as she shook her head,

"Because he loves you, like a lot, a lot... He was probably trying to push you away... with that porn star move... I mean come on, he's been head-over-heals in love with you since we were all teenagers." Alyssa laughed, leaning forward, placing her hands on her own knees,

"You two have been through a lot, sure… but I think that just makes your bond greater, stop being so…. So you."She snickered, this causing Tara's head to pop right up, the look of hurt written all over,

"What's that supposed to mean!?" She barked, Alyssa only laughed this time getting up from her chair and into the kitchen,

"Coffee, you cranky Old Lady?"

* * *

A call shot Alyssa awake and into reality, she had slipped into dreamland after Tara left to work, the nap actually being longer than she had intended, sleeping well through the day, "Hello? What is it, I was napping!?" She ordered, eyes shutting once more, refusing the lights.

"I don't think I'm coming home…" A slightly shaken Tara replied,

"What? Why not?" Confused, Alyssa lifted from her contorted sleeping position, sitting straight on the couch,

"I can't leave Able's room Alyssa… I just… I miss him and Jax…" She sobbed out, Alyssa could tell she was shaking slightly by the way her sister's voice cracked and her ragged breathing,

"I know you miss that baby… I do too, wait- Jax? Where is he? You can't call him?" compassion quickly rushing to even more confusion, Alyssa's most common mood around here lately, something good needed to happen around here and fast.

"He left for Belfast already… To go find Able." She responded weakly,

"Already?! ...Damn, I need to quit sleeping, I'll be over in a minute." Without waiting, Alyssa hung up, good thing she had already fallen asleep in some decent pajamas or she'd probably refuse to leave, staying put and petting the sleeping cat next to her seemed so heavenly but her sister was in need, Alyssa grabbed her car keys and left. A little hurt that no one had bothered to tell her that they had planned to leave but then again, Able needed to be found and she was just happy that it was happening now, who knew how long the brothers were going to be locked up when their hearing at court was over.

* * *

Gasping awake, once again, Alyssa glared up at her sister, "Tig needs to get bailed out, want to come?" Tara spoke, hands on her hips, keys in hand. "Bailed out? He's in Jail?" Alyssa yawned while rubbing the sleep from her eyes and rolling her sore neck, sleeping on the couch was the last place she wanted to sleep. "Let me shower and get ready, five minutes I swear to everything." Alyssa promised as she leaped into the bathroom, scrubbing yesterday away and quickly wiggling into her clothes from last night, a tank top and some sweatpants wasn't all that fancy but then again, she really didn't care.

Waiting in the car as the sisters arrived, Alyssa really hated this Police station, too many times landing in there as a teen made her life a living hell and as an adult, she wanted to keep from going inside as long as possible, she looked over herself time and time again, boredom can strike quickly in a car,

"My hair is getting so long... should have trimmed it." She murmured to no one, the thick locks being pushed all to one side, falling down passed her breasts in waves of dark brown and a mix of caramel. Pulling the long locks into a high ponytail, she spotted the two familiar people coming her way, "What's wrong with you?" Alyssa asked going back to her hair, anyone knowing Tig could tell when he was pissed off about something,

"I got my license taken away, two fucking years!" his wild anger finding the back of Tara's seat before she had entered to car.

"_TWO?_" Alyssa gasped out, facing him after she had perfected her do, two years was a little much, but what he did were the consciences of that, but she knew the club would be thrilled with his sacrifice for Gemma,

"How are you going to work, drive!?" She fumed, that was just really a long time without any riding at all,

"That's what I fucking said!" was his last reply before Tara had shut him up, grumbling all the way to the impound lot.

"I have to work today, so you want to go home?" Tara explained after the two women watched the tow truck leave the yard, waving at the two men inside as they passed by,

"Yeah, I haven't been spending much time with Leo, I really need to." Alyssa spoke, very serious about her words.

"You really need a boyfriend." Tara pointed out, Alyssa scoffing back with a glare,

"He's all I need! He doesn't lie, cheat, or fuck me out of pity." Alyssa spat, arms folding across her body tightly, head snapping back at the window,

"You fuck your cat now? I think I should take you elsewhere." Tara snickered, ignoring her sister's venom, doing as she said and taking her back to their dad's place. "I'll call you later!" Alyssa yelled before heading inside.

* * *

Keeping her promise, Alyssa called her older sister the second she had gotten the chance, "Hey Tay, how was work?" Alyssa spoke after the greeting from Tara, silently listening to her day at work, it was somewhat interesting, nothing really fazed her unless it was someone they had known or if someone had passed away,

"So… I have something to tell you, can you come by the hospital?" Tara seemed serious and if it was serious, Alyssa knew she would never tell over the phone, she was a face-to-face person. Racing down the road, going the fastest legal limit possible, screeching into a parking space once seeing her sister outside, just the sight of her made some of Alyssa's fears slip away but forcing her to run to her side, not caring for the slight ache of her healing wound, it was better now but still had every possibility of tearing open.

"What the hell happened? Did you hurt yourself?!" Alyssa spilled, checking every part of her sister, until Tara had shooed her away,

"I'm fine, I'm fine! Just… let me talk, okay?" Tara was dead serious with the look of regret written on her face, whatever she had wanted to say, it had been eating at her for a long time.

"An abortion? Wait… you've been pregnant for how fucking long!?" Alyssa yelled, once Tara had finished explaining about her boss taking her to an abortion clinic,

"About seven weeks… Look it just wasn't the time to tell anyone…. I told no one. I swear." Tara begged, stepping closer to her sister, the look of regret eating away all her features.

"but…. Why an abortion? You're a wonderful mom…. "Alyssa whispered, placing her hands on Tara's defeated shoulders, the look of her sister was heartbreaking,

"Are you sure…?" She asked once before Tara had nodded, "Okay…. fine. I'm coming with." Alyssa began,

"No! You don't have to.. I mean." Tara interrupted, her hands gripping at Alyssa's arms,

"She won't be alone, I'll be there." The other woman present added,

"You're not family." Alyssa snapped, not even glancing her way,

"Alyssa….. fine.. okay. I need you." Tara agreed, looking over at her boss who only nodded as well,

"Thank you." Was all Alyssa could say, taking a deep breath before entering the back seat of Tara's boss' car.

The drive there was silent, not a single word passing between the three women, Alyssa's legs had been shaking the whole ride, everything just seemed so wrong, a knot forming at the pit of her stomach, she was fine with abortions but something about this one, the timing maybe, seemed so wrong. A sudden crash to the back of the car had snapped Alyssa right out of that thought, head swinging behind her, the lights blinding and the darkness surrounding didn't help the view any better.

* * *

Following the woman out of the car, Alyssa stayed by the doors, keeping a distant, watching as an Hispanic woman had apologized for the crash but quickly started to talk to her sister, which only brought her closer to Tara's side, pressing her shoulder into her sister's, a silent sign she did when she felt nervous or suspicious. Trusting herself only more when the Hispanic drew a gun, pointing it directly at her sister,

"Whoa…!" Alyssa yelled as the other two women gasped out, all of their arms throwing up in defense, her head swinging in the direction of the man's voice as he spoke,

"Is the other two old ladies?" He asked, Tara quickly defending her sister and boss, explaining what they all did for a living,

"Check their inks." He demanded to the Hispanic woman, her quick to search Tara's boss, finding a large back tattoo that surprised both Knowles sisters, the man spilling something Alyssa didn't care about, watching as Tara's boss looked at the two siblings with such terror, she defiantly wasn't used to being handled this way.

Alyssa's brown hues darted away from the shaken woman and back to the Hispanic when she gotten a little too close for Alyssa's liking, "Touch me and I'll rip your fucking neck open." Alyssa hissed, granting her a gun pointed between the eyes,

"Try it bitch!" The Hispanic hissed back, causing Tara to gasp in horror,

"No please! That's my sister!" She begged, almost yelled,

"If she keeps talking, you'll be an only child." Snickered the man, moving his gun in his hands like the perfect accessory, "Check the bitch's ink." He demanded again, the look Tara threw her sister forced Alyssa to silence herself, Alyssa's mouth brought on so much damage and only Tara could keep her quiet, she had jumped slightly at the handling by the woman, glaring at the man during the whole assault,

"She's with the sons." The woman spoke once looking at Alyssa's crow on her wrist, forcing Alyssa forward as she pulled her wrist into view, the man laughing loudly his response,

"Wonder who's fucking this one." He boomed with more sick laughter as he pushed Alyssa and Tara's boss into the back seat, Tara being forced through the other door, the car taking off as the two Hispanics got inside. "I wonder how much we can get!" The man beamed, staring at the woman for a second, she had kissed him with such passion it had almost made Alyssa gag, clearly this couple was fucking insane.

* * *

Head dangling with exhaustion, bond tightly to a wooden pillar in what seemed like a basement or attic like room, silence was all that accompanied the women, being duct taped quiet. Everyone's attention snapping at the door as it opened, the couple walking in, snatching off each of their tape for a small gulp of water, what great hosts. "I guess you weren't lying, a Doctor, hospital boss, and a bartender." The man spoke out, not looking at anyone in particular as he read some sort of paper,

"what do you want?" Tara gasped out, granting her a quick silence from the woman before the man spoke out again, Tara ignoring the woman and spoke out once more, gaining a slap to the face, only causing Alyssa to squirm in her bounds, her skin rubbing painfully against them,

"Touch her again and I swear to g-uhh!" cut off by a swift kick to the stomach, air escaping with the pain, gasping for a release.

"They need to make their demands… tell them a number Tara!" Margaret, as her name was, spoke,

"So she is the boss." The man snickered, staring at the sisters,

"M-Money? Kidnapping f-for money? Fucking weak!" Alyssa roared as loudly as she could between gasps, dogging the man, this time it had been him who took a turn, a quick fist to the cheek, iron filling her mouth.

"Shut the fuck up!" The couple yelled in unison, forcing the tape into her mouth,

"Try talking now whore." The woman snapped, as the woman's fingers left her mouth, Alyssa's tongue quickly started to force the tape out, keeping it at a safe distance, that punch hurt and right now, she didn't want another.

"Okay! I'll tell you his number, you can talk to Jax himself!" Tara begged, trying her hardest to look at the couple to her side, in front of her little sister, "Please, I'll tell!"

* * *

After what had seemed like years, the Hispanic man started to speak, someone had answered the call, and whoever it was, they knew that they had the girls. "The person pointing a gun at Jax Teller's old lady and her bitch of a sister."

Ripping the tape of Tara so she could speak, leaving Alyssa wide eyed and worried, "I want a lot so you better be taking notes." The Hispanic started, leaving the room, the woman glaring at the women before she had followed.

Alyssa's cheek throbbed from her abuse, mainly her cheek, the cut didn't seem too deep, the ring snapped her skin pretty good and it was starting to swell, the matching gash in her mouth also causing a slight deal of comfort, at least the kick was pathetic in some way, probably will leave a bruise. It was starting to get hot in that room, being so close to the other women didn't help, and her butt was starting to ache from sitting for so long, Charming was really starting to piss her off, again. The two other women sat in silence, even though their tape hadn't been put back, Alyssa had thought to spit the tape from her mouth when the couple walked back inside, the woman taking a piece of tape and kneeling near Tara,

"Let her breathe." The man started, stepping close enough to hover over Alyssa and stare straight into Tara's eyes, "The club's cooperating." He spat before leaving his too close position, following his woman out of the room once more, silence hitting them all again. Margret breaking the silence,

"Are you okay?" She got out,

"Yes, you?" Tara replied, they had tried to look at one another but with no luck, Alyssa just nodding when they had both nudged her, "I… I don't know why they are doing this." Tara started,

"I'm sure it's just money." Margret replied, causing both sister to scoff in unison,

"Well.. the club doesn't have any." Tara confessed, "I'm so sorry this is happening to you…. Both of you.." Tara confessed once again, Alyssa just huffed and pushed her head against the pillar, staring at the ceiling while Tara and her boss talked about Margaret's tattoo and life story behind it. It really was a fucked up one, love making a woman do crazy things for the people they cared for, closing her eyes, Alyssa tried to block them out, she hated hearing tragic love stories, making love scarier and harder for her every time. "Alyssa..?" Tara spoke, snapping Alyssa awake, she didn't realize she had even dozed off, "mmf…" she all she murmured with her full mouth, keeping her eyes close, "I'm sorry…." Tara whispered again, all Alyssa did was murmur out some type of no before Tara shut up, she couldn't hear her sister cry and apologize, not to her, it would break down her touch demeanor, and she needed to hide her fear, be strong for both of them, all of them.

Alyssa's eye began to fall for the second time before the doors slammed open, the Hispanic woman starting to untie the bounds, "Time's up." The man spoke, "For what? What are you going to do?" Tara asked confused, the Hispanic woman freeing the three in no time, "Your crew ain't taking me serious. So I'ma kill the red bitch." He stated starting dread straight at Margaret, Alyssa and Tara both gasping out, the tape Alyssa had been trying to keep inside falling to the floor,

"No! I'm the one you wanted." Tara quickly spat, such a statement shocking Alyssa to her core, "You still have some value." The man spat back, Margaret started to blabber something as Tara grabbed the woman by her hair, slapping her on her back, her quick movement, not being quick enough. The man had kicked Tara down by her stomach, she had hit the floor and rolled onto her back, clutching her stomach before he lifted his leg once again, "Don't she's/I'm pregnant!" The Knowles sisters yelled in unison, Alyssa's eyes wide darting from the man and back at her sister, her chest heaving back and forth. The man looked utterly surprised while Margaret agreed and Alyssa nodded her head quickly, catching everyone off guard when the phone started ringing, Alyssa taking this chance to dart to her sister, the man and woman trying to grab her,

"I just want to be near my sister!" Alyssa yelled desperately, the tears she had been hiding away for so long spilled out of her eyes as she did, shaking hands collecting her sister's shirt, if she was lifted away in this moment, Tara's shirt would have came along. "Please…" She whispered, as the man answered the call, "I need to confirm that." Was all he said before placing the phone at Tara's ear, she had nodded and told the person everyone was fine before the phone hit Alyssa's ears for the first time,

"H-Hello?" an unknown voice escaped her lips, only sobbing out harder when Tig had spoke up,

"We're going to bring you both home, I promise." His voice was familiar and beyond soothing,

"o…oka…kay…" She sobbed out, as the phone left her face, sobbing harder, body shaking, ignoring every person in the room except her sister,

"it's okay 'lyss… I'm right here." Tara soothed, touching her sister's swelled cheek gently, the way she did when they were younger, pulling herself up, the two embracing one another so hard, it the couple a few pulls and curse words for them to release each other, being pulled up and back into their spots against the pillar.

* * *

Margaret had been past consoling, sobbing for what seemed like hours, ignoring whatever Tara or Alyssa had to say, sobbing out something incomprehensible and then just sobbed harder, "The police will know we are missing by now. They'll be looking for us." Tara spoke out, Alyssa couldn't tell if she was irritated or just tired, it was possibly she was both, just like Alyssa had been, just not nice enough to speak without venom slipping out. "You both seem to be handling this well…" Margaret had spoken out, the sister's silence seemed to have been itching on her, "sobbing won't help anything, that's why." Alyssa murmured tiredly,

"You're really one to talk." The boss spoke out,

"You really want to talk to me like that, right now?" Alyssa spat, lifting herself from her slouched position, staring straight into the woman's soaked face,

"Stop it!" Tara interrupted sharply, "Let's just try and get some sleep." She spoke again, exhaustion was taking over everyone and fighting with one another wasn't going to make anything better,

"I'm sorry…" Alyssa murmured, all too serious but way too tired to continue, slouching again and letting out a long yawn, the silence rocking her back into her dream world. Her first non-medicated dream was euphoric; back at the club everyone safe and sound, back to normal, happiness filling her body and into every limb, she could have taken off flying and been okay with that as well, because happiness was something that has been completely absent from her life back in Charming. Alyssa was beyond tired and the opening of the room this time had barely waken her, just snapped her from a deep sleep and into a on and off dozing state, only snapping to complete wakefulness when the man had yelled out that they had noon or everyone would be dead. Her eyes darted to Tara and Tara back at Alyssa's, searching for the answers that neither one of the sisters could provide the other, Alyssa was the first to look away, she didn't dare another break down, her body was too tired for that kind of activity right now.

The man turned to the three, glaring daggers at each of them before storming off, stupid little whore following right at his feet, "God…. I'm going to get so wasted when this shit is over!" Alyssa sighed, closing her weak eyes,

"I'll probably have one.." Margaret agreed with a slight laugh, Tara keeping silent, but laughed a bit herself after a small silence.

Everyone's alertness what through the roof when Tara had asked to go to the bathroom, all three women had agreed that given the chance would take it and run, get help and come for the other two. Tara had chosen to go first, disappearing behind the door, causing Alyssa's heartbeat to quicken and her raggedy started to come out in huffs. "You need to calm down, she'll be okay." Margaret tried, "No, shut up. Don't talk, I can't keep calm with my sister out there…. You don't know what could happen." She whispered, knowing that if her voice came out normal it would soon reach a high pitch in an instant.

The sound of a door slamming and screaming only forced Alyssa's heart to stop, cold rushing deep within her body, "T-TARA!" She screeched, the silence only worsened everything, "TARA!" Alyssa yelled, slamming against the pillar as she struggled in her bounds, the ties digging into her wrists,

"I'm fine, we have to hurry!" Tara yelled back, slamming into the room and to the woman's tied hands, Alyssa scrambled to her feet and out the door behind the two women, almost screaming when the man came into the house, Tara's quick thinking pointed her gun at him, the two yelling at one another to drop the guns. He called for his woman a few times before Tara had spoken, "She's bleeding out in the bathroom." His look of confusion and worry forced everyone near that said room, Alyssa's eyes darting from the guns to the floor, blood almost everywhere before the Hispanic woman called out to the man, Alyssa was too focused on the gun in the man's hands and thinking of a way to get him to drop it to hear the demands between everyone,

"I'll help you but you let them go." Tara had demanded lastly, "No." Alyssa demanded back,

"I'm not letting both of you come with me." He stated, his eyes darting from his dying woman and back to the three, "Alyssa this is no time to fucking argue, you're leaving!" Tara yelled, keeping her focus on the man before turning to give Margaret the gun and stared at her sister, "I will be fine, I will come home. I swear." Her dark eyes staring back at Alyssa's mirrored ones, "Come on!" Yelled the man and without a second to react Tara was gone to help,

"Fuck!" Alyssa yelled, punching the wall with everything she had, that she would have to add to the list of injuries, following the group outside and to the car. Everything wrong in the world forced Alyssa into a car with Margaret, driving away from her sister, refusing to say or do anything that would point to the last goodbye because there wouldn't be one. "We're going straight to the police." Margaret spoke after taking a few peeks at the hunched over bag of flesh, shaking and sobbing once again, Alyssa just ignored her then and for the rest of the trip. Moving slowly after the boss as they pulled up into Charming Police, wrecked body moving like a zombie into the building of her past, collapsing to the floor once that old Chief Unser asked that 'what happened' question with that same old voice, making everything that had happened a reality, her ear-piercing screams were the last thing she could remember before zoning out completely.

"Hey. Hey. Come on, let's get going," Trager's voice pierced her silence, dead eyes staring up at him filled with tears all over again, "She's gone… she's dead.. I just know it…" she tried, the screaming she had done killed her throat completely, the only thing that spilled from her were raspy, coarse words, "No, don't talk like that. We're going to get her, come on." A slightly familiar face spoke to her now but she shook him off, strangers were the last thing she wanted to see, taking a tight hold of Trager's arm, noodle legs shaking with her weight, following the two men into the car, the ride to where ever wasn't on her mind, just thoughts of everything and anything bad that could happen, happening to her sister and that unborn child.

"Where's that place of yours again?" Trager asked after getting off the phone with who she guess was someone from the club, Alyssa took a small gulp, trying to ease the dryness and pain, "I need…. I need a drink. Take me to the club.." she shook her head, the small voice pissing her off more than anything and fueling her need to slip away. "…alright hunny." He complied, nodding at the driving man, at least this drive wasn't going to be too long with the promise of booze and that comfortable dirty club couch.

Before she knew it, she had woken up to the banging sounds of car doors slamming, it hurt her head but Trager let her know in her drunken stupor that Able was okay and everyone was coming home, hung-over or not, every car door was an alarm. This time when she looked outside the door, she was greeted by a black van, that sweet, sweet black van, it almost brought tears to her eyes, running straight for Jax, clinging to him like he would just slip away like another dream, but it was real and he was back, he would get Tara, she knew it.

"J-Jax…" She spilled, her voice still gone,

"Oh god. Alyssa, are you okay?" His voice beyond worry, she was a little beaten up, but she'd managed, it was her heart and the fact her sister was missing that was the worst of everything, she nodded in return for him.

"I'll get her back I promise." His words shook her to the core, just what she needed to hear, not the bullshit lies everyone else spat, Jax was always a man of his word.

The two released and Jax slipped over to his mother, grabbing the basket as she jumped out, "Gemma..!" Alyssa crocked, embracing the mother with everything she had, Gemma was okay and with her grandson, nothing could bring her down,

"Oh baby. You sound like shit." She laughed out slightly, touching Alyssa's sore cheek gently, she only chuckled slightly, nodding in the queen's hands, the small sound of the baby catching her attention, "Come, meet your nephew." Gemma beamed, nodding in his direction, "Oh god… Oh god…" was all she could manage, those tears from the sight of the van were nothing to the sight of this precious baby, "He's perfect…" She choked, pointer finger rubbing under his tiny bottom lip, his sleeping face beyond perfection.

Alyssa stood still as everyone started to walk toward the clubhouse, her legs afraid to move for a moment, "Hey. You … you okay?" Juice's voice entered her mind, her eyes slowly looking over at that beautiful man, he was a little beaten himself, "Same as you." She replied with a weak smile, his own filling her body with a small spark of joy.

Walking closer to him, "How… How was it up there?" She asked, not wanting the conversation, the joy, to end; she listened carefully as he talked about the parties and few things that could be shared, her hand sneakingly gripping at the arm of his jacket. This cutting him off guard and snapped his attention to her grip, "I… I'm sorry." She whispered, looking at her hand as well, she saw it move on it's own and refused to let him go, "I think… I think I missed you." She joked, laughing to herself, "Never heard that one before." He laughed as well, a real one. Her big doe eyes darting up at him while he laughed, the lopsided grin forced her smile to widen as well, she needed this and somewhere inside she was happy it was with him.

Shaking her hand off and moving closer, Juice slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, the warmth of him spilling into her cold, wretched body. Alyssa fell silent, walking in step with him, not wanting to lose this chance, listening to every word, every laugh, Juice gave her something she hadn't felt in a long, long time. It was nice, couldn't explain it but nice.

Alyssa's smile left once Juice's arm fell off and away from her, he was needed in church and the sight of Able quickly erased her sadness of him leaving, as the two separated, Alyssa came up to Gemma's side, "He's so amazing." She smiled, watching that sleeping face once more, Gemma only humming in response, talk wasn't needed, this baby was here and that was more than enough. A few chats were exchanged before the brothers started to spill from the room, Alyssa's eyes catching with Juice's and his grin that was pointed at her only burned her cheeks, Alyssa had a smile this whole time, mainly from seeing Able but it grew a tad wider.

Gemma left Alyssa's side and moved over to Clay's, leaving Alyssa standing alone. Deciding that since he was also alone, she'd go talk to Juice again, "Hey again," She mumbled, even though it hurt, she was a talker and a sore throat wasn't going to stop that, "Hey you, want a beer?" Juice offered as he picked two up, "Thanks." She smiled, accepting it and taking a sip, the cold beer soothing her burning throat. Her eyes never left him, she watched as Juice took a few swigs from the beer and took off to help when he was called, a smile on the whole time, god that was such a great smile. Trying to keep this staring a mystery, she kept moving about the club, picking the best places she could to have Juice in the center of attention, feeling like she was doing too much, Alyssa settled on one of the couches, finishing her beer, at least she grabbed another in her adventures of being a stalking whore. Though she was put, Alyssa's eyes still managed to dart from him and then to another direction from time to time, he caught her looking twice and that was it, she was too embarrassed to keep up the act, clearing her throat, she looked off in another direction, catching a glimpse of Opie, the way he was looking caught her attention.

"hmm…" she spilled, opening her second beer, his lovey dovey eyes were dancing all over Lyla, it was cute, too cute and it made her chuckle. Feeling her eyes, Opie looked up from the woman holder her nephew and stared back at Alyssa, his eyes changing, sweet and questioning, '_I really like her._' She mouthed, Opie always looked for approval when he liked a girl, she had seen those eyes only a few times but it was one of a kind, so she never forgot what it meant. Opie's eyes brightened, looking back at the blond, nodding, probably to himself, she was glad he had found love once again, talking to him after Donna died when she was in Vegas, she felt like all was lost and he's never smile again, she was never more happy to be wrong.

"Hey babygirl, you good?" Happy's voice snapping her out of the past, sinking down next to her on the couch, he was another person she didn't realize she missed until he was there beside her. Alyssa scooted closer to him, placing her head on his shoulder,

"I'm mad that you didn't call me, when you left or when you were there." Her harsh voice spilled as she closed her eyes, taking another sip of beer, his laugh moving her some. "Sorry, I was balls deep in Irish pussayyy." He scoffed with another laugh, rubbing her shoulder with a gloved hand, his complete and utter bluntness as amusing, he sure was a master at making her laugh. "I hope you got all the pussy you wanted."

* * *

Alyssa's legs shook with such a force it was starting to scare her, the couch being her only choice of comfort, the guys had taken off when they got news about Tara, too shaken to go along, she drowned herself in more beer. Making sure to take them slow but always had a prospect give her another when it had magically ended up empty, "Hey, big guy. Sit next to me." She begged, his phone was the one constantly ringing since she had left her own at her home long before this mess,

"Yes, ma'am!" He replied with such a tone, it caused her to smile,

"It's Alyssa… or 'Lyss, if you like." She replied, keeping her eyes on her beer,

"Uh… okay." was his last words before keeping silent, taking a seat farthest away from her, man were prospects nervous. The phone rang after a few hours, the prospect agreeing with whatever before handing Alyssa the phone,

"Yeah?" She mumbled, "Uh.. hey, it's Juice. Uh.. We found Tara, but… she's in a hostage situation type thing." He replied quickly, the sounds behind him was chaos,

"Is… is she okay..?!" She questioned, her voice cracking with the words,

"Yeah, Jax just went in, I'll call you back wh- Wait, she's safe!" Juice boomed, the sound that came from her was confusing, animal like,

"T-Thank god… Thank you, oh god!" Tears flowed out of her weak eyes like a flood, a hand covering her mouth before hanging up, slumping down deeper in the couch as the tears continued to flow. "She's okay, right?" The prospect asked wearily, Alyssa nodding fast and sobbing more in return, pulling her legs into her chest, letting the happiness seep back into her body once again, this time she was going to do everything in her power to keep it.

The wait for her sister's safe return wasn't as long as the car ride to the hospital however, it seemed like the prospects drove as slow as they possibly could, trying their hardest to keep Alyssa away. Slamming into her sister's wide arms after another round of agonizing waiting in the hospital, they had to make sure Tara and the baby were safe before releasing her, and really, Alyssa wanted to be with her as soon as possible, gripping Tara with all of her being,

"You are NEVER allowed to make me leave!" Alyssa demanded between sobs, digging her face into her sister's shoulder, smiling when Tara's sob hit her ears, Tara didn't like to cry and hated even more to let her sister see it, Alyssa knew that she could never stay pissed at her sister, not when she was safe and not when she was bringing another joy into their lives.

Being dropped off once more at the club, Alyssa slipped inside and behind the bar, beer wasn't going to keep her mood happy, she needed something strong and disgusting. "Let me get uhhh." A happy voice startled her, snapping her attention up at the source, Juice's stupidly great smile filled her sight, "I heard you were a bartender... in Vegas, was it?" He asked, an elbow on the bar's island surface, chin in hand,

"You want my life story now?" She laughed out, setting out a few bottles, they hand enough to make a decent Texas Tea,

"Nahh, I don't ask for those unless I want another go into someone's pants," Juice chuckled, her thicker but manicured brows shooting up in return,

"Oh wait! That doesn't mean I want to get in your pants or anything," He blurted out, hands moving to his thighs, "Wait! Shit! I mean I think you're smokin' and would love to tap that but I don't… shit." His head dropped to the table, his arms wrapping around it and with all the movement and so many words, all Alyssa could really do was laugh.

"Do you want a drink Juice?" She giggled for the first time in a long time, sliding a hand on his arm, the tattooed muscle tensing to her touch, she didn't move however, the feeling of his skin against her own kept her hand put, it felt like static. "Yes!" He sighed, lifting his head slightly, peeking up from his hiding spot, only coaxing another laugh from her. Sadly, Alyssa moved her hand, taking out two cups and filling it with ice, mixing rum, vodka, tequila, lemon and cola together in a cocktail mixer, keeping her eyes on him, just as he did her,

"What?" She smiled while replying, pouring the chilled liquid into the waiting cups,

"Nothing.." He smiled back, his eyes dropping to the drink, "It smells awful.." He coughed as he lifted it to his face,

"Well, it's supposed to get you fucked up." She spoke, gulping a few times before setting it down, her face contorting with the sting of alcohol, nodding as he had mimicked her, wiping his mouth some,

"That's tea!?" He choked out, eyes going wide, looking at her with such disbelief,

"Phew… I made it a little too strong!" Alyssa laughed, leaning her upper body against the table, sipping slowly on the drink, standing just felt better than sitting after what happened to her.

"You think?!" He laughed himself, taking a few more sips, "If I get fucked up, you have to take care of me." He replied in the cup, before silence, his eyes still fixed on her for a conversation,

"This is my… what? Sixth attempt at drinking tonight, I was kind of buzzed with my fourth beer…. so don't laugh at me when I throw up, okay?" she sighed, not even slightly kidding, sadly that whole confession didn't discourage her from finishing the drink in her hand.

The two had laughed for a good while, talking about where they grew up and how life was before Charming, she found out his name was actually Juan and that he was from Queens, she even confessed to him that she hated Vegas and was thinking of moving back but didn't tell anyone about it yet, he was the first. After finishing their first round of drinks Alyssa poured them what remained in the cocktail mixer and moved from behind the bar,

"I need to sit and I'm just a liiiiiiittle too fucked up to sit on the stool. You must be a master at the whole sitting thing." She laughed at herself, she really thought she was the funniest when she was hammered, this was probably what made Juice laugh, her stupidity, there was no way that joke caused him to have such a nice laugh.

Sinking to the couch, she sighed loudly, munching on some ice that caught in her mouth with her next swig,"I'm gone, I knew I shouldn't have taken shots by myself when no one was around, if I knew you would be here, I would have made you do it with me." He confessed, laughing to himself,

"You drink alone? God, you are pathetic…. Wait, I do that all the time, I'm pathetic too then." She snorted out, waving her cup at him, "Here's to pathetic drinking, together!" Alyssa cheered, smiling when he nodded and slammed his cup against hers,

"Drinking partners?" Juice asked, looking at her before moving his head to the back of the couch,

"You're pretty fun… so yeah, drinking partners." She smiled to herself, moving the cup to hide it, she didn't want him to know how happy that had made her.

"So, seal it with a kiss?" he slurred,

Alyssa too lost in her own world to know what he was asking, "hmm?" she hummed out, turning to face him this time,

"I said, let's seal it with a kiss, this drinking partners thing." He repeated, nodding a few times, he really did have no filter, like he said,

"Me? Kiss? Huh?" She asked again, the booze clouding her judgment, but when he had moved closer to her, it had registered, well slightly, unless she wanted to kiss him and was imagining him asking her, that had to be it. But, when he grabbing her hand that held her drink and moved even closer, she gasped a bit, watching his features grow closer and closer, his lips only inches away, Alyssa's brown eyes looking up to his and his lips multiple times, it was making her dizzy.

She closed the gap, pushing her lips against his, the warmth of him engulfing her, spreading within every nerve and heating up with every pulse, it was probably the alcohol but this kiss was like nothing she had ever experienced before, thrilling, hot and smelled great. Alyssa's eyes shot close when Juice's wet tongue slithered at her bottom lip, it had been too long since she had been kissed, let alone made-out and with that logic her mouth opened, her arms slithering around his neck to pull him closer, deeper into the kiss, it really was getting hotter in the room, someone needed to turn up the air. A moan escaped her lips when Juice bit down on her bottom lip, freezing the two for a moment, he pushed away some and looked at her face, his glossy eyes darting on every part of it, forcing her burning cheeks to grow hotter.

Not being able to take being looked at, she kissed his bottom lip quickly before pushing her drink in between the two, chugging some, "So it's settled t-then, right?" She stuttered, looking away from his stare, forcing the cup back to her mouth, did she go too far, was he just going to say something when he had gotten close, but he did kiss her back, maybe he was just being nice.

"Maybe I should go.." Finishing her drink, Alyssa stood up, fixing her tank top that had been pushed up slightly with their heated moment, clearing her throat,

"That was really hot." Juice spoke finally, catching her off guard, her head turning towards him, he was hunched over, clutching at his head, "Um.. thank you." She whispered, biting at her swollen bottom lip, it still tasted like him and the tea, nice mix, "Do you really have to leave? I mean.. uhh… we're both wasted, I don't want you to get hurt or taken again." His head moved until he was staring back at her, slightly red at the cheeks, alcohol will do that.

"I…. suppose I don't… but I need another drink, so uh.. you can go to bed whenever you like, I'll be out here." She cleared her throat once more, watching him nod before slipping off the couch slowly, walking down to the dorm rooms, releasing her breath the moment he was gone, she slipping on the couch, curling herself up on it and with tonight's events repeating over and over, she drifted asleep, this time with a smile.

* * *

Woken up by a slight shake from Gemma, "Wake up baby, we're having family breakfast soon." The queen whispered, the smile that hit Alyssa's face was one from her childhood, breakfast with the family was a big task that needed every helping hand possible. "Yes, ma'am!" chuckling, Gemma walked outside, while Alyssa walked tiredly to an empty room, she was glad she asked a prospect to get her a change of clothes, showered and ready to work, Alyssa joined the hustle and bustle of outside, helping Gemma with whatever and everything she needed done, greeting every tired face that walked in. Alyssa's eyes hit Juice as he appeared as well, she had been wasted but that moment replayed in her dreams, over and over, forcing a fresh blush on her cheeks, gulping slightly she got the courage to walk over and greet him.

"Morning drinking partner, you hungry?" she smiled up at him, his tired smile was priceless, how cute can he really be?

Alyssa nearly froze when Juice bent down slightly, kissing her cheek before nodding, "starving, thank you, just no tea please," he added with a wink.

With that, they had both laughed, "Don't worry, those are only for drinking nights with my partner when we're alone," those words slipping out more seductively than she had planned, this causing her cheeks to burn hotter and a slight widening to her brown eyes, she didn't mean it like that! Juice only laugh again, he must have missed the way she said it, good because she was having an inside panic attack for being so idiotic.

Bending down again, Juice whispered, "I'd like that.. and I hope that means I get another make-out session,"

pulling back to face her, his smile twisted into a smug smirk, the sight of her bright red face pleased him. Giving her a nice wink, Juice moved on, going to greet the other members. A small cry left Alyssa's lips after processing that whole event, he caught her slip up and only made it worse, god- if she didn't have to feed him, she'd probably avoid him for making her so damn red. Great, looks like she's in trouble; nothing good ever comes out from catching a Sons' attention.

After severing Juice his breakfast and a few other sneaky members sensing her happiness, she had finally found a seat next to her sister, eating and laughing with everyone. The joy of being surrounded by her family made all the hell that had brought her over here seem like a nightmare long since passed, jokes and laughter, more smiles than you could count filled the club house and with the announcement of Opie and Lyla's engagement, the mood only brighten. Hugging the two and exchanging her happiness for them, tears almost daring to spill from her eyes before Happy sneakily stood behind her and forced a round of cackles when his fingers dug into her sides. "H-Happy!" She squealed, wiggling away from him, taking the cup of coffee he had offered and joined into the cheer for the wedding to be, good thing her voice was better, or she'd have a reason to be upset.

Happy's arm took it's place around her shoulders, pulling her away from the crowd and onto a couch by the pool table, "I called you last night, what the fuck?" He growled, sipping the dark liquid,

"Oh, I was getting wasted with Juice, sorry," She replied with a mouth full of her own coffee, looking up at him when he stayed silent, the look on his face, confusion and anger, well the anger part was normal,

"You did what?" He replied finally, "You didn't fuck 'im right?" He asked, slightly upset,

"Oh what's your problem? Of course not." She huffed, rolling her eye, his smile returning,

"Good." Was all he said before going back to his coffee, gripping at her shoulder tighter whenever she waved over at Juice,

she frowned. "You're not jealous are you?" She asked him, finally taking her eye's off that smile and back to Happy's usual frown,

"A little." He confessed keeping his eyes on Juice,

"Oh come on. I'm not yours and plus, you even said yourself, if we ever fuck again it would be out of pity. I gave up on your ass a long time ago, we agreed, friends only, sooo….. don't go getting mad when someone else catches my attention." She stated, which finally caught his attention, the glare moving off Juice and over to Alyssa.

"That's not fair. I saw you first." He whined, pouting playfully,

Alyssa smiled brightly, he was so dumb, "Shut the fuck up Hap!" She laughed, pulling at his bottom lip with her fingers,

"Okay, okay! Just… don't come crying to me when he does what I did." He replied, getting up and going back to the crowd, his words hitting her right in the heart.

At one point in the game, when Alyssa was a teenager she loved Happy, like a lot, and when it came time to leave Charming, she confessed to him, they fucked and that was it. Happy told her after many calls on her part that he fucked her out of pity and his pity fuck forced her away from men for four and a half years, scared to love or have sex knowing how she always connected the two. Finally being able to get over it and ignore the love and focus on the sex, with women at least, she had finally been ready to go back to men, but dropped that part of her life when Tara had given her that life changing call.

Alyssa shrugged off Happy's words, she didn't love Juice, not even close to it, she just found him really fucking attractive, maybe he could be her first guy after all these years. Dick was just that, dick.

* * *

Finally coming to terms with her feeling towards Juice, Alyssa was finally starting to see why he was making her so confused, how easily she blushed and laughed around him, she had just wanted some good dick and Juice was on her radar, plus he did say he'd tap it. Pushing a plate into a trash bag, Alyssa huffed, shaking her head, these thoughts needed to go away, at least when she was busy working on important things, but he'd probably run around in her thoughts until he was all hers, biting her lip and sighing as she deflated on a stool, rubbing her eyes, "Go awaaaayy…" She whispered to herself, forcing all things Juice out of her head and filling it with Tara, Able, and the new baby on the way, grabbing bottled water from the fridge behind the bar. A few minutes to herself was good enough to finish up with her cleaning, throwing any and all trash away, going in and out of rooms that Gemma had missed, making sure the Queen didn't have to do everything by herself.

A few hours of peace and quiet, then everyone started to come back into the club, spilling into the church, some woman with files following inside, Alyssa gave a question look at the prospects, the one called Miles shrugging it off, she liked him, he was funny. Getting lost in a life discussion with the prospects, Alyssa was enjoying herself, it was nice to just sit and not have to work but after a while it got boring, especially when everyone she wanted to talk to was busy. She sighed, watching random members running in and out of the club, busy as ever; however, Alyssa's eyes brightened once seeing Juice run inside, he had been one of the many who were busy and this was the first time seeing him inside the clubhouse in a few hours.

"Working hard there." She laughed as he turned to run back outside, though, to her delight, he stopped in his tracks to throw her a tired grin,

"I could really go for some of that partner time, later, maybe?" He asked whipping some of the sweat off his brow.

With a surprised look, she nodded quickly, waving him goodbye, hoping there would be a tonight, she needed to spend time with him before they all left for their jail time, which was soon.

Alyssa rushed outside once Happy had announced Tara's return to the club, "You're going to be okay?" She asked with a huff, looking over her sister's features, hands clinging to her sister's, Tara was a part of a run, one that would result in the obtaining of Jimmy O'Phelan,

"Yeah, I'll be safe. We'll be safe." She smiled, Alyssa nodding slowly.

Tara released her sister as Jax came, taking the hint, Alyssa slipped away and found herself heading over to Happy, "You sure this will be safe?" She sighed, clinging to his arm, he chuckled slightly, fixing his gun inside of his leather before placing a large hand on her head,

"God, you're such a worrier, I'll shoot anyone who tries anything. You know I will." He smiled, sweet and promising, something he showed his brothers, mother, aunt and her, it was special and rare for the killer,

"I know…. I just need to be reminded…. Every day." She added, laughing a bit, hugging him from the side before hugging everyone else, wishing them luck and safety, her hands finding the an edge of Juice's leather,

"Hey. You have to promise to drink with me tonight, you can't leave unless you do." She murmured, her head pressing against his shoulder for a moment, stealing his warmth before he turned to face her, pulling her into a tight hug, nothing like their first one they shared, funny how time and a small make-out session can change so much. "Yeah, I promise. Keep it cold for me, alright?" He laughed, resting his chin on the top of her head, ignoring every stare.

"Okay…" She breathed, planting a kiss on his neck, "A make-out session will be waiting too.." She smiled weakly, pushing away from him and heading to sit at the bench by the club's door.

The times Alyssa had to pour out the melting ice was ridiculous, she had lost count a while ago, not wanting to let the drink get any temperature but cold, as long as a promise wasn't broken, then he would come back, they all would. The roaring of bikes forced her out the doors quickly, watching as they and Tara had all pulled up, she rushed to her sister's side squeezing her hand in greeting, joining her in the wait for Jax, nodding at anyone who had greeted her, mentally counting the members.

"Where is he?" She asked Tara, looking straight out the gates from their spot,

"Juice? He's over there," She replied, forcing Alyssa's cheeks to burn slightly,

"No. Not him, Jax, wasn't he with you?" Alyssa huffed, not in the mood for games,

"Oh… I'm not sure… he was right behind-" Cut off by a lone bike's call, Tara pushed away from her sister, joining Jax's side in no time, yet Alyssa's eyes didn't follow her sister's this time, they followed the cop cars behind Jax,

"what the…." She mumbled to herself, standing straight, trying to listen to what that cunt of a federal agent had to say but she had been a little too far.

The sight of Juice and Trager running to the garage of the shop caught her attention quick, Jimmy O'Phelan's body was being pushed outside within the same seconds. Alyssa gasped out at the sight of such a man and watched as he made some scene about the Sons trying harder next time, cocky little shit.

The silence of the parking area as Clay asked where the woman had gotten her information was the perfect time for the woman to let everyone know that Jax made some type of deal. It would have confused her but Jax's sudden yelling made everything snap together, "…r-rat…" Alyssa whispered, chills spilling over her skin as she watch in horror; all the SAMCRO members started to scream at each other, pushing and demanding answers from the VP, him only yelling in return, Alyssa stepped forward as Gemma jumped in front of her son, quickly defending him from her husband's wrath, everyone was being pulled away by a cop or agent in just a few seconds.

Just like her sister, Alyssa ran as Juice was being pulled away, forcing back the horrors for just a moment, pulling at his arm, being forced to stop as she did, "Y-You promised!" She cracked, pushing herself into his arms, wrapping tightly against him, "I-" Juice started but Alyssa cut him off, crashing her lips into his, the moment he kissed her back her tongue pushed into his mouth within the heat of the moment, the free arm around her squeezing her body to his with the kiss,

"I… I'll wait for you." She gasped out as she broke for air, not even caring for the consequences for what she was throwing out, he was leaving and she didn't know for how long, it just seemed right at the time and with his nod, her heart dropped as he had to let go, tears trying to push their way through, "I'll wait for you!" She yelled again after him, cursing herself deep within, knowing this shit was going to turn on her and fast, this time the tears pushed out of her eyes. Turning to face her sister who had reached her side, Alyssa didn't know what to think, all she knew was the many men of her life were leaving and there wasn't a set time, at least she didn't hear of one yet, they could be gone for years.

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**__ I really hope this story is good enough for all you readers! It's my very first time writing in the genre like S.O.A, so I just hope it flows correctly. Also, I watch the episodes while I type out each chapter, so I really try and get things in better perspectives!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you all for the reviews and favorites andandand everything! I'm beyond grateful and happy you like the story and even more so that some of you like Alyssa, she's my baby! So I know I just added the story yesterday, I'm going to only post one chapter either a day or every other day, I need to catch up on season 6! I already know what happens, *SOBS GROSSLY*, but I have to watch the episodes to get the best writing ideas... so anyways. ENJOY!_

* * *

**-CHAPTER FOUR**

Fourteen months passed like nothing some days and felt like years some others, in the beginning months the waiting had been the hardest, entering the club and expecting them all to be there, so someone to be drinking a beer or play pool, the clubhouse seemed like a ghost town and it really fucking sucked. Even though it hurt her, every day, as she promised Gemma, she checked on work that needed to be done, filing and helping the prospects whenever they needed help with a customer. Once Gemma's house arrest was set, Alyssa had more free time than she needed, splitting it between Lyla and Tara, both mothers needed help at odd hours and this lady was usually free when that happened. Once she had gotten into a decent flow, proved that she was indeed a hard worker, Gemma hired her as an assistant; Tara needed more help as she got bigger a bigger belly occupied by a son, Thomas.

Alyssa never missed an appointment, she made a promise to herself that with Jax gone, Tara would never have to share a moment like finding out that the Tellers was going to add another boy or getting to watch him grow inside of her sister alone and every appointment for awhile, they cried over the obvious absence. Lyla and Alyssa got very close during these months, sisterly even, she couldn't imagine life without her and her porno self, whenever Opie was loaded with work, the two girl made it a party for the kids, make sure that things where almost the same for them. Once Thomas was born, things changed around the lives of the waiting ladies, each one took time to send with the newborn and his presence threw their lives for the better, laid some sort of happy sheet around them. Gemma was off house arrest before anyone could really blink and watching that grandmother shine when she was able to see that baby was just perfect, she was in love instantly, just like Alyssa. Life was good, well, as good as it got without those crazy ass guys throwing your head for a spin.

"Oh, crap, I need to go help Tara. I'll call you later." Alyssa spoke as she shot up, ignoring the time as they sat in silence watching some movie on TV, Alyssa was there early to help cook breakfast and see that kids off to school, "Alright hon, see you later." The two smiled, hugged and Alyssa took off.

Gemma was going to take the boys but Alyssa needed some time before that happened, Alyssa was never more attached to little ones than the Teller boys, life was defiantly better with those two, and she really loved her new title as 'Aunty 'sissa!', courtesy of Able. As Alyssa reached the house, she laughed to herself, Gemma was up and ready to go earlier than her scheduled time as usual, then again, she was running a few minutes late,

"Hello G'ma." Alyssa whispered, watching as the queen feed the new addition of the Teller family, that fat, happy little man,

"Hi baby." She smiled, not looking away from the bundle of joy, Alyssa only laughing again, kissing Gemma's cheek and Thomas little head before sitting in front of the older woman, talking about their morning and how everyone was doing. "So, you and Juice, huh?" She smiled, finally looking up from the baby, questions like these were not as uncommon as you thought, the women were starting to wonder, after that intense kiss.

"Huh? Oh… ha. I'm not sure if there is a me and him, we hardly talked before he went inside, I mean he writes me every chance he gets, but I don't think there's an us." Looking down at her fingers, inspecting each nail carefully, a smile ghosting her lips, it was true, the letters started after a few weeks, they started off short but soon they were writing one another pages upon pages of new and interesting information about one another.

"Oh come on, you like one another, what kind of guy writes a girl who he hasn't been in bed with? There has to be some feelings." the queen teased, tapping Alyssa's knee with a fine boot, her words and pushing were causing Alyssa's cheeks to burn hot.

"Gemma, we kissed, once… twice… I mean, I think I might like him but then again, I think it's been too long since I had some good dick." She laughed out, ignoring the look of delight written all over Gemma's face, lifting herself up and stretching, wanting desperately to change the subject, "Coffee my queen?" She murmured through the stretch, "No but probably later, thanks baby."

* * *

The hours passed by slowly, the minutes even slower, all the words that had been exchanged between the two after so many months had made her nervous for a face-to-face but like a little psychic, Able tugged at Alyssa's sweaty hand, pulling her closer and closer to the bench, Gemma laughing a bit at her crazy grandson, "Leave your aunt alone, she's waiting for her boyfriend." The queen chuckled with Able as Alyssa blushed,

"H-He's not...!" She tried to deny and it was true, he wasn't her boyfriend, just a guy she liked to write to in prison. Leaving the two jokers as they continued to giggle at her facial expressions, trading it for her sister's side with a quiet Thomas, "I'm going to throw up." Alyssa confessed after Piney slipped away from Tara, her sister laughing with a nod as Gemma joining them not soon after, Able decided coloring was better than talking to grandma,

"we're all anxious, it ain't easy making it work when they're away." The queen confided, arms wrapping tightly around the two excited sisters, "With the help of the club, we'll get through anything." She instructed, Gemma was right though, we all helped one another this time around and if anything like this were to happen again, we'd be right there, helping all over again, it's what we did, what the family was supposed to do. Smiling those smiles you got when you were a teenaged girl with a huge crush, "I love you both." Gemma added once more, pulling each girl into a kiss on the cheek, the sound of bikes hitting the yard made Alyssa's heart flip and pound, too busy staring at the yard, Gemma whispered something to Tara, making her laugh as they all turned their bodies to face the gates, each bike darting into views, screams and cheers hitting from either another crew member from the sidelines or from the freedman on a bike.

The three women walked slowly as each bike came to a stop, Alyssa's eyes found Juice the moment he drove in, slipping away from the women her eyes locked on to her target, she reached Juice before he even lifted off his bike. "Hey you." Alyssa smiled, her cheeks already hurting from the excitement and the horribly wide smile, taking off his helmet and sunglasses, like they day they first met, she took him all in again, his hair had grown in and so did his facial but he was still just as attractive than ever, his smile spreading from ear to ear as he stood from his bike, not being able to wait any longer, Alyssa's arms reached up and around his neck, pulling him into a deep hug, his face burying into her hair as he pulled her closer, squeezing her body with his arms. The uncontrollable warmth that spilled into her body was crazy, he looked a bit different but he was still the same Juice and that alone pushed she past the point of joy, he was back and right here in her arms.

"I missed you." He murmured, taking her back, she really wasn't expecting much of anything other than a few hugs and smiles, but he said those words she read over and over again on the papers he wrote on and oh god, did they sounded better because no matter how hard she tried, she could never hear his voice saying it in her head, but there it was, spilling into her ear. "I... god, I missed you too." She blushed, wiggling into him more, squeezing him harder into herself, not wanting to let go, but the kiss to her cheek forced her head back, the couple looking over one another for a moment, studying one another like it had been a few years, if the blush wasn't showing before, she knew they would be burning bright now.

Alyssa's arms slithered down from his neck and replacing themselves at the front of his leather, rubbing the texture under her thumbs, teeth digging into her bottom lip as she stared up at him until she no longer could. A small tug to the leather pulled his lips down to hers, and boy, did they come down, with such a force it made her knees weak. Eyes shut in pure delight, nothing seemed real, nothing, Alyssa had many kisses in her lifetime, some good and other bad but this one, this one had literal sparks and what made it even better was knowing that no matter how much she could pinch herself what was happening was all too real. A gloved hand push the back of her head deeper into the kiss, sending waves of pleasure throughout her body, his actions did everything but ease her body, adding fuel to the fire within her pushing her want and need for him to grow deeper and quickly. The couple had made-out for as long as they could, lost within their own little world, pulling away once the whistles and barking started to happen, their foreheads pressing onto one another, smiles wider than ever,

"You're home, and I'm done waiting for that promise." She breathed, nipping at his lower lip before releasing him. Alyssa never enjoyed hugs as much as she did in that moment, each and every man who had been locked up had a special bear hug saved for her and nothing was greater,

"So, you're like a thing now?" Trager asked, pulling away from the hug, laughing when Alyssa stayed silence with a burning red face, pushing her toward the next waiting arms, Happy had found her and was happy to see his friend after such a long time,

"Ahhh, boobs. How I miss those," His raspy voice tickled her forehead in the hug, squeezing a hand down on one of her tits,

"God. Do you have to ruin every moment with something sexual?" She cackled under him, slapping at his hands.

"You know it baby!" He winked, leaving her side and embracing some girl.

"Thank you for taking care of my family, our family." Jax's happiness spreading like a virus, "No, like you said, our family. It was never a problem, will never be a problem, but for right now, they are all yours, enjoy it brother, I love you and welcome the fuck home!" Alyssa laughed, jumping into his arms and squeezing him with everything she had, then sending him free into the world once more; returning to Juice's side, clinging to him. With Clay's church announcement, everyone started to get moving, packing up their kids and heading home,

"Have fun." Alyssa smiled, staring up at him while he talked away with his brothers, everything joyous replaying over and over, she wasn't really sure what the two were, but all thoughts, doubts, slipped away whenever his lips touched hers, she was going to get used to this new side of the relationship, fast.

Waving goodbye as he slipped away and hoping into her truck, following Tara back home to help prepare the nice planned lunch, "I'm so glad to have them all day." Alyssa confessed cutting the sandwiches into halves and setting one plate in front of able while Tara washed some fruit for dessert, "You and me both, you and me both." She sighed out, landing a bowl to Alyssa once sitting down herself. After few hours of giggles with the boys, playing games and a movie Able tried to watch through his heavy eyelids, Tara picked him up, Alyssa lifted off the couch once the little sleepy boy was off her side, "I still have work to do at the club, see you later Tay." Alyssa whispered, kissing her sister goodbye once she had collected all their dessert dishes from earlier, placing them gently in the sink on her way out.

* * *

Everyone had gone home, properly giving hellos to one another, spending much needed quality time, leaving Alyssa alone in the Teller-Marrow office, busying herself by checking over a few files and typing some needed things into the computer, an hour or so passed before Alyssa headed inside the club for a nice cold beer. Smiling to herself as she sat, everyone was home, free and it was better than she could have imagined, the happiness that fell over the club and it's members was refreshing, something that was more than needed. Finishing her beer and grabbing another, she didn't notice the club door opening until his voice startled her, "How come I always find you here?" Juice laughed, stepping closer to where she was, a hand was over her chest, trying to keep her heart from leaping out from the shock,

"Shit Juice! You scared the hell out of me!" Alyssa revealed with a laugh, holding up a beer with a questioned look, he nodded to it, shifting himself on a stool as she grabbed another bottle, with a pat to the stool beside him, she smiled, handed him his drink and hopped up on the stool beside that wonderful smile.

"And to _your_ question, this bar is my favorite place to be, you should know that one." She listed, opening her beer with a twist of the wrist. Slipping slowly on it before turning on the stool to face him, taking him all in as a whole once more, his looks, smell, even the warmth of his presence next to hers, eased her body and soul, moving on these feelings, she pressed her cheek against the shoulder that faced her,

"You look a lot like Juan Carlos, and a little less like Juicy Boy." She teased, a finger tracing the hairs on his upper lips, watching as they curled up and into another one of those wide lopsided smiles, she missed that more than she could have imagined. "You're something else, you know that?" He added, leaning his head against hers, Alyssa's eyes closed with the contact, an enjoyable silence falling over them as they stayed connected, finishing their drinks.

"I didn't think that last kiss would make me miss you so much." Juice muttered, moving his head from hers, she doing the same to his shoulder, Alyssa stared into those beautiful expressive eyes of his, nervous smiles on both of them, "Yeah… same here… what are you doing to me?" Alyssa replied with a playful scoff, starting to get embarrassed, her eyes dropped to the floor but his actions stopped them from getting too far down, with an arm slithering against her waist, he pulled her closer. Alyssa stared at Juice for a long moment, eyes leaving his to dart to his lips a few times before they both caught on, moving their upper bodies even closer until their lips brushed together, pressing gently onto one another.

Pulling back after a while, she kissed down to his chin before pushing off the stool and slipping out of his arm, watching his look twist from it's pleased daze to confusion from the sudden space. Walking away before he could protest and making it across the way to the club's hallway, the one leading into the apartment, in a matter of seconds, turning to face his watchful eyes, her teeth digging into her bottom lip, Alyssa just couldn't wait any longer, she wanted him and wanted him now, "let's see how far that kiss can really go." She mewled out, lips twisting into a smirk as she watched his eyes widen in thought, him quickly jumping off the stool and closing the space between them, his lips twisting with hers after looking over her face one last time, making sure to figure out just what she wanted exactly.

* * *

A gasp escaped her lips as Juice lifted Alyssa off the ground, she had been too busy taking off her shirt to see him shut the door and lock it, her large breast pressing into his face as he did so, a growl escaping his lips as he made contact with the covered tits. Legs wrapping tightly around his waist as he pressed her against the nearest wall, she had arched her back slightly, hands finding the hooks of her bra, it was digging into her ribs and she really just wanted it off as quick as possible, Juice hardly complaining about her movements being too busy with attacking the skin of her neck and collarbone, leaving a few marks for his own pleasure. Letting the cage hit the floor, her body reacted instantly to his touch, as his large hand gripping tightly to one of her breasts, his face leaving her neck once he had touched her nipple,

"They're pierced?" He huffed out, taking the sight of her bare chest in, the size was amazing and the fact she had them pierced pushed him off the edge, taking the free nub into his mouth, and twisting at the other,

"Oh…" Alyssa shuddered out, it had been too long since her last sexual encounter and this was purely intoxicating, "I got them when I was twenty…" She breathed out, not really sure if he cared, but felt like answering as a hand gripped at the back of his fully covered head, her own head pushing up against the wall, gasping out a few times as he switched his attention from one pierced nub to the other, working on each very attentively. Gripping at his cut, Alyssa pushed at it, hoping he'd get the memo, with the roll of his shoulders and watching the cut start to slip off, she knew he did, Alyssa moved forward as he moved away from her tits, catching his lips before he set her down, their tongues crash into one another's as they worked to pull his shirt off and onto the floor, her hands assaulting his muscles in an instant, rolling over his toned stomach and back up to his amazing chest. "wooow." She breathed into the kiss, moving away slowly to kiss down from his face to his neck, sure, anyone could tell that Juice was a pretty toned guy but the shirts did him no justice, he was a god underneath, huge pecks and a wonderful row of abs that popped from under the skin, she nibbled against his chest once making contact, all the while his hands ghosted down her sides. Kissing down his abs, Alyssa's eyes darted up to his face, heavy lids hid some of his glazed over eyes and he was biting his bottom lip, 'J_esus fucking Christ.._' Alyssa sang in her head, just being stared at was making her wet with want but she'd have to control herself, only slightly, her hands worked to undo his belt and slide his pants off, going as slowly as she could possibly manage.

The bugle in his pants came spilling out, "You've got... to be kidding me..." she gasped, he was longer than average but defiantly thicker than what she had ever experienced, it made her nervous and excited all at the same time. Juice just laughed slightly at her reaction, it was slightly the same as his with her breasts, gulping slightly she pressed her lips against the swollen tip, he was hot against her lips and it was great, Alyssa hoped she remembered how to work a decent blow job, she'd been working with pussy for a few years to remember, slipping his dick into her mouth slightly she enjoyed the slight salty taste and heat that spilled on her tongue, and the sound that came from above was just pleasant, something more of a sigh than a moan came from his lips but still arousing either way.

Juice's hand gripped at the top of her head, his body spilling moans into the room, after taking more of him inside her mouth, she found a steady rhythm that worked for both of them, a hand grabbed at whatever her mouth couldn't fit, keeping him in place while she worked at pleasing him. Sucking and licking at his dick to change things up, keep him on his toes, which was easy enough to do when she was a girl who wasn't afraid to give attention to a sack, licking and rubbing against the sensitive balls, Alyssa was rather proud of herself by giving him such pleasures, that he confirmed by moaning or groaning out if something felt good, she even got a few '_just like that_' and many curse words whispered from his mouth.

"Shit... come here." Juice pleaded after giving her mouth a slightly thrust, using everything he had to escape her mouth and bring her up to his face, Alyssa had whipped the great deal of saliva off her chin while Juice dug himself into her neck, placing a tight grip on her hips and pulled their bare torsos together. Juice's warmth sent those waves of pleasure through her body again, crashing hard against her lower half. Juice had found some spot on her neck that she didn't even know about, one that caused a gasped moan to spill from her lips, attacking the area once hearing her sounds, which continued as he did. Alyssa's body was getting weak from the pleasure of his bites, she had to grab at his neck and back for support, nails digging into both areas if he had bit too hard or it was too good.

A bite to his collarbone coxed a grunt from him that was muffed from her neck, it was her turn to abuse him and that special area, biting, kissing, and sucking at it; the two had been attacking one another like wild animals, even ended up growling at one another, there was no doubt to it, Juice was driving her insane.

"I can't take this." Juice groaned out, lifting Alyssa off the floor once more, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist once again, he wiggled out of pool of clothes that surrounded his feet, his erection pushing and rubbing against her through her pants, the friction as he walked the two to the bed caused her to attack at her swollen bottom lip, hard. Once they both found their way on the bed, wiggling to get into a comfortable potion, all while being tangled together, their ragged breathing hitting one another in the face, their eyes locked together, Alyssa licked at his bottom lip which caused his grip on her hips to tighten even harder, which hurt, but hurt so good, his she didn't have bruises there, she would be surprised. Everything felt like it was on sensitive when he found the spot on her neck again, biting down on the skin so hard and the moan that spilled loudly from her lips coxed his abuse further on the sensitive skin, to the point to where she had started to whimper out with the pain, a small tear forming at the side of her eyes, but she didn't care, she wanted it like this, men were defiantly more abusive and it was thrilling. Wrestling Alyssa out of her pants, she some how managed to get from under him and push his own back down on the bed, moving so her legs straddled his hips,

"I'm not on birth control, so we need a condom." Alyssa breathed out as his hands found her breasts again, teasing the two as she lowered her wet folds against his hardened dick, rubbing his pulsating thickness between her while he nodded in response to her statement, stretching from under her to the nightstand, pulling out a box and handing it to her. She threw it aside once taking a package out from within, Alyssa's teeth found her swollen bottom lip again, keeping a glossy stare on Juice, watching as his eyes darted from their eagerly waiting lower halves, to her hands that worked the condom, and back up to her seductive stare.

The sound that escaped the couple as Alyssa lowered herself down on Juice until he had completely disappeared inside of her was animal like, "G-God…!" She moaned out, sitting still for just a moment, panting, the thickness was something she needed to get used to, he was spreading her out so greatly that she would have came with just that if she didn't keep still. A slight thrust from Juice's hips pushed him inside deeper, forcing her to groan out, wanting a release badly enough, Alyssa settled her hips, leaning down to twist her lips with his as she started moving, pumping him in and out of her with slow motions, enjoying the feel of a dick filling her insides greatly. The heat rising quickly as he grunted under her, his hands gripping at her thighs tightly as she found a faster rhythm, her upper body lifting up, back arching as she moaned, each time she had slammed down onto him, his name had spilled out with her pleasured voice, only arousing him further, pulling him closer and closer to the tightening feeling of his balls. Lifting himself onto his elbows, Juice's hands slithered up and around her body, grabbing and squeezing onto a bouncing tit whenever his mouth left one alone, the squeezing of her walls sucking him further and further into her,

"F-Fuck..!" he moaned out, his opened mouth leaving her nipples and clung to the skin of her chest, adding another mark on her body, as Alyssa pumped faster, her head flung back as she moved above him, her sexy moans spilling into the room. Groaning more into her chest as her moans started to quicken, with her pace, and the squeeze of her walls on his dick was getting tighter and tighter each thrust,

"I-I'm gunna' come…c-close…" She whimpered out, nails digging into his shoulder as she used it for support, gripping onto her waist again, he gave a few hard thrusts up, slamming her body down onto him, making her almost scream in the room, his loud grunts mixing with hers, their tangled bodies damping with sweat. Juice lifting the two, pushing them down, forcing her back on the bed in a swift movement, spreading her legs with a free hand as he took over, thrusting into her hard as they settled back into a comfortable position, his hand finding her swollen clit, forcing his thumb down on it, rubbing quick circles. Alyssa's body trembled under him, her teeth digging hard on her bottom lip, the iron droplets hit her mouth slowly, licking them away before opening her mouth,

"Oh god, Juice!" She mewled loudly, moving her hands from his shoulders to his back, dragging her nails down the toned skin as she reached closer to her release. The many waves of pleasure taking over her body, causing her to pant hard and gasp out whenever he slipped in and out of her with such force, her arms not knowing where to stay, dropping to the bed to grab the sheets and twist them in pleasure as she spilled out his name over and over. Within minutes of him switching positions, Alyssa quick moans replaced themselves with a long, loud moan that followed as she threw her head back, body going numb and stiff as she felt the release slip from her stomach, the waves crashing over her body hard causing it quivering and tremble hard through the last of it, the tightening of her release brought Juice to his own,

"shit!" he groaned out, one of his arms left her hip and slammed against the bed, near her head, gripping the sheets himself, steadying his body as it stiffened above her, his last, long groan spilling into her chest, as his sweaty forehead pressed against it, spilling himself inside of her and in the condom. The pulsing of his release inside of her made her hips buckle gently under him, also causing her to huff out a small laugh, arms wrapping themselves around her head as she caught her breath, chest heaving under the weight of his head, sweating more from the heat of his body as he settled on top of her for a moment.

Juice slipped off of Alyssa, collapsing face first into the empty space next to her, their gasping being the only sound that settled in the room as the two tried to recover, a few weak laughs escaping them both, "I…. I don't remember sex with a guy being that good." Alyssa sighed in disbelief, her breathing finally calmed enough for her to speak, her arms moving down to rest against her chest, eyes locking onto the ceiling, the pleasure still weakening her body.

"How long has it been again, like five years?" Juice huffed, moving his face from the pillow, looking over her, taking in this new side of her he's never seen, "Something like that." She laughed out, turning to face him, both their cheeks red from the event and both tired from the intense workout,

"Glad I could help." He laughed, flipping onto his back, pulling the condom off him and tying it off, discarding it in a bag that laid on the floor, an arm grabbing her shoulder once he settled back down, pulling her toward him, she complied and settled on his damp chest, biting the nipple that came into her view, forcing a laugh from him and gaining a gently flick to her nose, "stop that." He huffed playfully, her laughing dying slightly as she looked at the clock that faced them on the wall,

"We have a few hours until Opie and Lyla's wedding, about…. four." She murmured quietly, the exhaustion slowly slipping to her eyes and hitting her body, she had forgotten how tiring good sex was and his warm body didn't help with the drowsiness either.

"That's more than enough time for a nap." He replied back, pulling a light sheet over their heated bodies, the fans could kick in any minute and a sweaty body was usually hit hard by it, he sighed a bit to himself, Alyssa had been out within a few minutes. Juice's thoughts quickly filled with confusion, not sure about them, they weren't together, she defiantly wasn't his Old Lady and he knew he didn't love her, but the sex was more than enough to keep her close, "what are you doing to me?" He repeated to no one quietly, being lost in thought for a good hour after their sexual encounter, squeezing the sleeping girl's shoulder one last time before drowsiness took over him as well.

* * *

_**Author's note:**__ Ohhhhhh smut! YAY. Anyways, I'm going to be cutting my chapters up a little bit, I realised that they are just too long and if I cut them, you guys will get to have more chapters, yaaaaay! I want to at least get to what, ten? I write so damn much for one chapter, I only have about 7. That's a NO-NO._


	5. Chapter 5

**-CHAPTER FIVE**

The screaming of her phone's alarm forced a pissed off, sleepy moan from Alyssa's lips, weak arms trying desperately to find the source, "Fuuuuckk…" She whined, lifting up off the bed, scratching the back of her tangled head, looking around for her pants, being the last place she remember having her phone. Spotting them by the door, grabbing the screeching phone and silencing it, looking over her missed calls and messages, a few friends from Vegas and Tara, "Tara..?" she mumbled, why would she be calling her, a quick glance to the time and she suddenly remembered, Opie and Lyla's wedding! She had to meet Tara at Opie's to get her dress from Lyla, another glance at the time she let a huge sigh of relief slip her lips. Tara was just early, as always.

Alyssa laughed silently as she got lost in a few texts from friends, letting them know she'd call when she'd get the chance or that she missed them too, apologizing for not keeping in much contact especially to her best friend Lauren who was the most upset, trying to calm the woman, Alyssa almost didn't notice the whistle from behind her, which had caused her to freeze, looking over her shoulder slowly, Juice's sleepy face staring at her from the pillow, he somehow managed to shimmy out of the sheets, exposing his scratched up back, the sight caused her to abuse her bottom lip. "Nice ass." He jested tiredly, sleep still heavy on his features, he pushed his face back into the pillow, eyes closing once more,

"Haha, Thanks. Hey, I gotta' get going." She smiled, picking up her other pieces of clothing,

"What? Why?" His alert voice surprising her, looking back at him after collecting everything, he was up on his elbows, the sleep gone, the confusion on his features caused her to laugh.

"Calm down, it's Opie and Lyla's wedding day, remember? I'm not trying to dip out on you." Smiling at her own words, she walked over to his side on the bed, sitting next to him and her words relaxing his tense body, "oh yeah!" he sighed out, hitting the bed again,

"Want to take a shower with me?" he mumbled in the pillow, peaking at her with one hopeful eye, only making her laugh more. "Fine, but I'm on limited time, no sex." Her tongue slipping out, teasing him as she lifted from her seat, leaving her clothes at the foot of the bed, a slight shake to her head while Juice whined out a few words before getting out of his warm spot, making their way into the bathroom with a few steps, jumping quickly into the shower once the water was right, Juice kissing her lips pressing her body against his own with a slight pull.

* * *

A few hours after getting ready and helping Tara with her hair, Alyssa smiled at the bride as she walked into the room all ready and dressed up, "Oh Lyla, that dress was defiantly the right choice." Alyssa gasped, the bride's tight white dress hugging her curves perfectly and she beamed happiness from head to toe, "Opie will be blown away." Tara smiled as well, hugging the bride into a group hug almost in tears, the bride laughing and thanking the two sisters, whipping her eyes slowly to keep the make-up perfect, shooing the sisters before she could break down, heading into their places in the wedding. Tara and Alyssa chatting quietly while they waited for the ceremony to begin,

"You have so many hickies, is that why you didn't answer my calls before?" Tara whispered, pointing with her eyes at Alyssa's neck, forcing her little sister to cough a few times, catching her by complete surprise, "Tara!" Alyssa squeaked, pushing her long locks closer to her neck, she left it down just for that exact reason, to hide all the bruises and marks Juice had left from their encounter just hours ago,

"I just… I'll tell you later." She whispered, feeling the blush burn her cheeks badly, darting her eyes away from her sister's wondering look, wanting to look at everything but her and scanned the surroundings, finding Juice behind Clay and Gemma, he'd been talking with the members around him, the smile on his face made her heart flip, she watched him carefully, spotting a few marks she had left on his neck, he couldn't hide them like she could and it made her happy, "But… yeah, it was with him."Alyssa's small smile from watching him widening with her words, biting at her bottom lip before returning her brightened face back to her sister. Tara's eyes widening in surprise, wanting to ask so many question but would have to wait, the bride's song echoed the space, signalling everyone that this wedding was getting started, all heads turning in the direction they knew Lyla would be coming from.

In the last rays of sunlight, Lyla glowed, her smile spread ear-to-ear, hand in hand with Piney, he had the opportunity to give her away, the screams and cheers of the guests filling with the music, the sisters nodding happily as the bride walked past, exchanging quick stares before she stood face-to-face with Opie. The little things like the way he looked when he first saw her and having her there in front of him was priceless, he was so in love and that alone could have made Alyssa cry, if the happiness of watching one of her brothers get hitched wasn't forcing her cheeks to hurt so bad from the smile she held. The reverend going on with the ceremony, Alyssa didn't pay much attention to the speaking man, she hated the long monotone speeches, she just never liked how unemotional some of them were, snapping out of her daze when Opie asked Jax for the ring, laughing with a few others when Jax played dumb. However, Alyssa was at full attention when the wedding moved on to the vows, this was her favorite part to any wedding, instant tear jerk-er for her. Lyla promising to be the best Old Lady she could be and Opie spilling his personal love to her, then repeating the club member's traditional vows with the helping push from Jax,

"... And treat you as good as my leather… and… ride you as much as my Harley." The last part being yelled out by the other brothers, cheering and clapping right after, Alyssa's face was tear streaked, her napkin completely damp by the time this part had happened, laughing happily, those words tugged her heart quicker than anything, having the family be so involved with each other, even at weddings, what more than most could ask for and she was beyond grateful to be apart of it. After another round of cheers as the new married couple sealed everything with a kiss, Alyssa's eyes met with Juice's, his eyes brightened with such a huge smile, nodding up at her with a wink, she shook her head slightly, smiling shyly, waving back at him before having to walk off with Lyla and Opie for a few pictures.

* * *

Exhausted, Alyssa's sore body sifted off her bed and into the bathroom, relaxing and fully awake after a long, hot shower, she wiggled herself into a pair of denim shorts and a white frilled crop top, long locks pulled into a high ponytail, June was way too hot to be in any usual black attire. Gemma had Alyssa on a crazy schedule, up early and elbows deep in files, paper and computer work, who knew filling after cars was such a difficult task, then again, Alyssa enjoyed being able to be resourceful to the club when a bartender wasn't needed and she really did enjoyed learning new skills, kept her busy when she needed it most. "Here early, again?" Chucky's awkward voice asked from behind her, waving at her with his creepy fucking hands, even though he was beyond weird, he'd been a a huge help to her, running back and forth to get things that she needed, he did this so much that she even ended up having to return the favors and help him in return, so he wasn't so bad, funny sometimes and at some points even good company.

"Yup, Queen's orders." She smiled, waving back, his multiple nods being his answer before heading into the garage, opening it up for the random workers. "Hey, I'll be back, tell me if someone calls, mkay?" Alyssa called out to the many faces after a while, the few yeahs and hums reassured her before running off to the bathroom. Whipping her wet hands on the back of her shorts after finishing up in the bathroom, stealing a quick break for a few texts and a stretch, slipping behind the bar after a few minutes, nodding hello to a few members who had arrived for their own work shifts, smiling happily as Jax marched in with Clay, she waved at the two before grabbing a chilled beer and headed back outside, sipping the cool liquid, full attention on her phone's screen. "What, no hello? Here I thought we passed that silent stage." Juice's voice passed her ears as she reached the office doors,

"Ack! Sorry, I was distracted." She laughed, pulling her eyes away from the phone and up to him but having to blink a few times before he registered, "Oh! You cut your hair!" She smiled brightly, shoving the device deep into her back pocket before pulling him close,

"Now that's the Juice I remember." She teased, pushing her nose against his, stealing a kiss, "I have to get back to work, but remind me to let Juan know that I'll be spending my time with Juice instead." Laughing a bit before stealing another kiss, she really couldn't keep her hands off him whenever that grin appeared, even more so when he bit his own bottom lip, like he was currently doing while he rubbed up on her bare skin.

"Screw work, let's slip away to the dorm rooms," He growled, pulling her close, giving her bottom lip slight abuse with a bite,

"Alright, you tell Gemma that." She giggled, shooing his hands, and brushing her lips against his once more, "Clays already here, I'm sure they need you in there." She pointed out, pushing him gently toward the club, "Awww, come on!" He whined, defeated and did as he was told, leaving her to her work and a horrible hunger itching at her lower half.

Unser walked into the office a few hours later, "Hey sweetheart." His elderly voice greeting her, the man from her childhood had slowly diminished, but cancer did that to the body, "Hey you old fart." She acknowledged, looking up at him from the lone desk, hands still fumbling around with a few papers, "Still with that nickname? How old were you when you yelled that at me again?" He questioned with a slight chuckle, leaning against the door frame that lead into the garage, "Fourteen I think, but you provoked it and it just stuck." Alyssa snickered playfully going back into her work, smiling to herself once hearing him laugh again, a few more stories were exchanged before Gemma stomped in,

"Can I talk to him alone?" She asked, peering down at Alyssa, knowing all too well to agree, she nodded, grabbing a few papers and headed into the garage, stealing Bobby's working chair, clearing a small space within the mess to finish her work. Finally finishing up after getting the all's clear from Gemma, placing the papers in their correct files and joining in with the small talk of the two older people, going over all she had done with Gemma and poked fun with Unser some more. Alyssa's eyes had followed Unser's when Gemma suddenly dashed out of the office, lifting up from the couch and taking a spot near the window that opened out to the yard, watching Clay and Gemma for a second, her body turning away and back at the desk before the sirens snapped her back to the window, that old cop again.

Slipping outside after Gemma entered, leaving her alone and keeping a watch, ready to alert the queen in a moment's notice, nervously she stepped forward as they all disappeared inside but the sudden crashing sounds from inside after a few minutes forced her feet forward and crossed the yard, stopping at the club's entrance. The new cop had axed away at the walls and windows of the church, Alyssa gasping as he forced himself inside the chapel and chopped at the reaper engraved table, Unser's hands were at her shoulders within seconds, this silent touch told her it was not time for conflict, he knew how viscous Alyssa could be when the club or her family was disrespected. Pulling her away quickly and back to Gemma as everyone started to head back outside, she sighed,

"What's going on around here?" she knew but it still slipped out in the open, Gemma only shaking her head, "Something stupid I'm sure." The queen huffed.

Tara and Lyla had rushed over to TM quickly after a few others, worried for the VP and Opie, who had been kidnapped, everyone had rushed out to immediately go and help their brothers. The information was quick and spread like wildfire once it was told, a few people knew exactly why the two members were taken and most didn't, Alyssa was in the most, not knowing about much of what the club did and the shit they were causing. Waiting outside eagerly for everyone's safe return, which wasn't much of a long wait after everyone did leave, in fact only two or three hours or so, which was fast but that was better than anything, the club worked fast and that was easier on everyone's mind and soul. The bikes and tow truck entering together, the two were a little beaten and bloody once they came out and into the view of the eagerly watching eyes, but at least they were alive and better yet, safe and so was everyone else who had gone off to help, Juice being included, which calmed her instantly.

As everyone spilled inside the wrecked club house, Alyssa saw the full extent of that cop's destruction, her hand tightening around Juice's, everything was flipped and the floor covered with debris, the cop did so much damaged in such little time.

"I have some good new..!" Tara's nervous voice spoke up, her hands shaking down into her pockets as everyone turned to face her, Alyssa knew what it was of course, Tara had told her sister the good news the day it happened but was begged to keep it hidden as the couple wasn't ready for it to be out in the open and known by everyone yet. However, when the cheers that slipped from the sadden bodies filled the air, Alyssa was happy, Tara made chose the perfect time to tell and the smiles replacing the frowns almost instantly, the slight happiness starting to peak wave back inside the ruined clubhouse,

"Hey, serve them up." Clay asked over the cheers, looking over to the Prospects and then to Alyssa, who's wide smile instantly became brighter, though, her manicured brows still pulled up in question and with Clay giving a small nod, reassured her, it had been the first time in a while since she was last able to serve up shots for the club and having it be for the sake of her sister and her sister's wedding announcement made it even better.

* * *

Lost in a book, Alyssa laid spread eagle on her bed, her days off were usually spent with Tara and the boys but with Jax finally home and Gemma being around so often, Alyssa took some time away and gave it to herself, if she wasn't so busy in bed with Juice, which had been like that for the past few days, she was lazing around at her own home, some time alone did a girl good. Grabbing her phone as it rang, not bothering to see who it was or close her book, "Yeah?" She spoke, still lost in another world, "You at home?" Juice's unusually stern voice hitting her ears, something was wrong and she could instantly tell, Juice acted differently when he was upset, sounded different,

"Yeaahh….?" She questioned slowly, "I'll be over in a few minutes. Just finished church and I just really need to see you." He blurted, nothing happy in his tone, more rushed than anything, "okay." she added, hanging up the phone and looking up at the clock on her dresser, reading always made the day fly by.

Like he said, he was knocking at the front door in just a few minutes, pausing the imagination, Alyssa set her book down, heading toward the door, "Want to get high?" Juice snapped once she had opened it, her head shaking for a moment as he pushed himself in, eagerly walking past her and into her room,

"Juice! Wai-" She paused, shutting the door and locking it before heading after him,

"What's going on?" she gasped as she entered the room, watching him fumble with the bag of weed, he'd taken her book that was lying on the bed and was using it as a table while he emptied some of the plant on the book's surface,

"Just… Just let me get high, I need to relax." He stuttered, keeping his concentration on the plant. Slowly dropping down in front of him, she rested her hands on his shaking legs,

"Juice, baby, calm down." She whispered, worried eyes locking on his face, he stopped moving for a moment, still refusing to look at her,

"I can't tell you anything... I can't tell you... I just can't..." he whispered back, devastated eyes finally looking down at her, it was true, he couldn't say anything, she wasn't his Old Lady, just someone to mess around with and that meant she didn't get that opportunity of knowing the club business, it was a rule. Juice's mouth forming a tight line as he slipped his eyes away from her own, she gave his legs a gently squeeze, "It's okay… I know you can't… just… I'm here for you... okay?" She pushed, eyes hard and serious, nothing freaked her out more than a nervous and devastated Juice and not being able to help with the situation was worse.

After his horrible attempt with rolling a blunt, she sighed, lifting away from him and into her closet, pulling a small bag from it and taking out her pipe, handing it to him once settling on the bed, "Here, it'll be easier." She murmured, moving behind him after he took her offering, nodding his thanks, her hands wrapping around him from behind once free. Alyssa pressed her cheek against his toned back, rubbing his arms to help calm him. Alyssa's eyes fell closed while she listed to him breathe, waiting for it to slow down and straighten out,

"Feel any better?" she mumbled after the smell of the burning plant hit her nose,

"Yeah... Thanks." a slight smile to his voice, "Want some?" He offered after a few minutes more, turning to face her, "I suppose, don't want you hogging all the fun." She gently teased, taking the pipe and lighting a large hit, enjoying the taste as it hit her mouth and blowing the smoke at him, coxing a smile from this,

"There's my boy." She mewled, pressing a kiss on his chin before pushing off the bed and into the kitchen, grabbing a few chilled beers from the fridge and a some peanuts from a cabinet, coming back to a lying Juice taking most of her bed since he decided he wanted to take the middle, blowing spoke up at the ceiling, "I got beer and nut, sound like a party?" she went on, placing the drinks on the floor and handing him the bowl of peanuts, "Hell yeah." He smirked handing the pipe to replace his hands with the bowl.

* * *

Moaning echoed through Alyssa's home, the couple's body tangled on top of the sheets, a clumsy make-out session quickly intensified with the eagerness of Juice, even though they were both high, she could tell that whatever was wrong was still bothering him. The grunting from behind her pushed the worry away though, if this was a way for him to feel better and let his frustration out, then why would she complain, and this was the first time since he had gotten back from his time inside that she had any sexual encounters with his usual looks, seeing him back to normal with his shaved Mohawk and all fueled her want, it was like having sex with someone completely different, "shhit… you're so tight.." He breathed into her ear as he pulled her head back by her hair, a spill of moans slipping from her mouth and into the room in response, Juice learned quickly what made her scream whenever in certain positions: neck biting in missionary, hair pulling while she took him from behind, and a few other things that drove his arousal. Squeezing his freehand down hard on the round meat of an ass cheek, ramming into her with a slight furry, today's events fueling his anger, that cop arresting him and threatening to tell the club his real nationality, the club's move with the cartel despite his vote against it, it was all getting to him and weed plus Alyssa were the best ways to get these frustrations out, plus adding sex was always better than being angry.

Alyssa's voice snapped him from his thoughts, letting go of her hair and leaning forward to attack one of her shoulders with rough bites, the hand that left her head moving down between their wet halves, thumb assault her swollen clit, the tightening of her walls around him and her song of pleased moans coxing a groan from his lips and into the tender skin of her shoulder. With the help of Alyssa's hip and her arousing sounds, Juice felt that familiar tightening of his balls, "I'm gunna' come." he moaned between his biting, moving to assault her neck before his last few rams deep into her, thighs burning with the constant movement, his thumb pressing harder on her nub, her hand moving to grab his that worked on her, squeezing it hard,

"F-Faster… please!" She gasped out, the plead pulling his release, moaning out as he spilled into her, and quickening his pace on the nub as fast as he could with the twitching effect of his body, her own trembling release following seconds after, her last moan spilling into the sheets of the bed as her arms weakened and gave way, upper body pressing into the bed. The two stayed huffing for a minute, his forehead pressing on the middle of her back, kissing down to the dip of it,

"that feels nice." She whispered, giving the hand she had grasped during the daze of pleasure giving it another squeeze, this small action causing him to smile onto her skin, humming in response. After the waves of pleasure subsided fully, they separated from one another, Juice laying on his side with a huff while Alyssa lifted her upper body off the bed with weak arms and slowly made her way into the bathroom that connected to her room. Turning the water to warm and damping a rag, she whipped at her wet folds down, after being on birth control for a few days, they weren't so active with condoms, Alyssa and Juice both preferred sex without them and the brand of contraceptive she used worked for her during her active sexual years as a teen, Alyssa had quit them after the last time she had sex with Happy and never getting back to them while with women, after a few more whips she gave up and decided to take a quick shower instead, this round of sex damped he whole body. Returning to the room, Juice had already dozed off while she cleaning up, the sheets still under him,

"Jeez." She laughed quietly, looking over his toned naked body, biting her lip as her eyes laid on his fine ass, one of her favorite parts to look at lately, seeing him naked and asleep, he looked so different, so peaceful and boy-like. Sighing, Alyssa grabbed her book and crawled onto the bed, kissing his cheek, him moaning in protest, "hey sleepyhead, you're on the sheets, get under them and I won't bother you again." She whispered sweetly, his heavy body moved slowly and Alyssa followed, settling her own naked body under the sheets, going back to her book while he slipped quickly into a deep sleep with an arm draped on her stomach.

* * *

"I'll be going out of town with the guys for a few days." Juice huffed after the two settled in bed for a moment, catching their breath, another round of early morning sex out of the way, "Fun." Alyssa mewled, slipping out of bed and to her dresser, the day off was yesterday and work was a new day, "I have to get going now though, so… I'll catch you later?" Juice asked from the bed, collecting his things and sliding his old clothes back on, "Well, duh. Where the hell am I going?" She laughed, turning to him as she fixed her large tits in her bra, watching his head shake with a grin. Smiling to herself once turning back to the mirror, looking over her body, a morning habit, wincing slightly as she lifted an arm, one of the straps of her bra was hurting her and once she turned to the side to look for the purpose, the bruise that shadowed her skin around it was the reason.

"You're killing me here Juice." She whined, even though they were ugly, she couldn't deny that getting the marks was utterly addicting and asking him to stop during sex was out of the question, so slipping a piece of clothing over the marks kept them from showing unless it was anywhere visible that her fabrics couldn't hide. A kiss to her shoulder as she finished getting ready made her look into the mirror again, his eyes were focused on her shoulder, his lips still close as he gave another kiss,

"Sorry." His hot breath burned the fabric, planting a kiss to her neck before following her out the house, waving their goodbyes as he left on his bike, a few days would be fine, after fourteen months, a few days was nothing.

Jumping into her truck and down the road to Jax and Tara's, she had enough time to steal a few kisses and have breakfast with the boys before everyone had to get going to their day jobs. Busying herself as Gemma left to go ask someone about some plants, taking Chucky with her, downing her time into the papers and computer, a weekly check-up and resorting was in order and that usually took her all day, sometimes two. The sound of the phone startled her quiet flow, "Teller-Marrow, Alyssa speaking." She replied, typing a few more things before the other end replied, "Hey baby, I'll probably won't be coming back. Piney's stuck in the hospital and I have some other things to do." The queen's voice sounded,

"Oh, oh no. Is he okay, did you call Opie?" Alyssa gasped out, halting everything she was doing, "Yeah, yeah. The old man's fine, don't worry. I'll call Opie later…. You can head home any time today. Thanks for the work." Gemma pushed before hanging up, Alyssa's head spinning slight before placing the phone back down in it's place, turning to the screen and trying to clear her head, there was no way she could drive right now but after another hour or so of work would probably help.

A few days after the guys came back, the club seemed a little rocked, something must have happened during the trip, at least she had guess as much, ever since coming back Juice was keeping distant, not saying much and staying at his own place, rather than coming over or asking her to join him at the club or his room. Alyssa was hurt by the fact that he'd just simply brush her off with a wave and nothing more, but what could she do, when a son was done with you, he was done and if you weren't an Old Lady, you dealt with it, simple as that.

She wasn't some sweetbutt but she understood and really, her feelings about the matter was getting too confusing for her anyways, taking the sex away and going back to a few words, Alyssa was glad, hurt but glad. It had to happen sooner or later and she knew that sooner was defiantly better, walking into the club that morning, she noticed a few guys cleaning around the club, greeting them and offering her help, she didn't have to go straight to work and helping with guys was a lot more fun than being alone in a cramped office, paper being her only source of entertainment. "Hey 'Lyss." Her soon to be brother-in-law spoke as he entered the club house an hour or so later, giving her a side hug and a kiss to the cheek as she lifted a case of beer on the bar's surface, nodding as a member started to open the case and take a few beers out, talking with Jax as she moved on to the next task. Waving surprisingly once Opie had appeared from the hallway,

"Heeyy…?" She questioned while he waved back, walking outside for a smoke, her lips tightening as she continued to work, confused about seeing him there so early, he was usually the last to show, being busy with his kids and new wife at home. Finishing up in the clubhouse, Alyssa headed out, smiling at her childhood brothers as they smoked, Opie seemed upset but he was the person who you left alone if he was pissed, so she did, keeping the door to the office wide open as she stepped inside, the fresh air spilling the room as she worked.

"Heey aunty." Tara's voice spoke from the door, Alyssa smiled once looking up from the paper work, being greeted by a happy sister and drooling nephew, "Is that my big boy?" She gasped out, walking with wide arms toward the two, kissing his chubby cheeks as Tara handed Thomas to her, snuggling him in her arms tightly, his adorable laughs escaping his wiggling body, "Oh I love you, lovelovelove!" Alyssa gushed, poking his cheeks with more kisses before Tara spoke,

"So, what's up with Juice? You guys done…. Or?" she asked, sitting down on the couch, Alyssa right beside her.

"I think so, he doesn't talk to me much anymore. Looks like you'll be the only Old Lady between us... I knew I would be just a sweetbutt, yes aunty did!" She spoke the last part in a baby voice, the words were meant for her sister but Thomas had her attention.

"Oh shut up. You're not one of those, he's probably just busy… I mean Jax has been and looks like is everyone else to." Tara sighed out, the conversation cutting short when Gemma walked in and begged for the baby, handing him happily over to the other gushing woman, the two sisters looking them over with a smile before leaving, Tara had to get going and Alyssa needed to get back to work.

Walking into the club house after searching outside for Gemma, she needed approval on changing something in the computer and didn't remember the pass code, stepping inside to be greeted by a new face, a younger girl, "Sup." She nodded as she caught Alyssa starting, "Uh… Hello?" Alyssa spoke slowly, eyeing her for a second before Tara reached her, "One of Tig's daughters… That's what Gemma said anyways." She whispered as Gemma appeared from a room and started to talk to the girl, "Oh, I'm running late, I gotta go." Tara gasped, hugging her sister before they both walked toward Gemma, a blond woman catching the sister's attention as she greeted everyone. "What are you doing here?" Tara demanded, catching Alyssa off guard,

"And who's this?" Alyssa spoke up, eyeing the other new face,

"I was a guest." The blond spat with an attitude,

automatically snapping Alyssa into her own attitude as Tara spoke up once again, "Who's?" and the reply back from the blond made Alyssa step forward, how dare she say it's none of their business? This club was their business and not hers!

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Alyssa hissed at the other woman, fists clenching as she pushed passed her sister and next to the Queen, who had been staring down the blond the whole time but quickly stepped in front of the two sisters and into the blonde's face,

"You should make it our business." Gemma demanded, getting a snappy,

"I was invited." From the other woman, Tara's voice and steps only pushed Alyssa to follow, this blond was going to get surrounded by the most dangerous trio in a few seconds and it was exciting for Alyssa, a cat fight has been long over due.

Gemma demanded the woman to leave while the Knowles sisters reached in closer, Gemma quickly stepping back in front before speaking again, "Bitch. She will rip your little tits off and the other one? She'll make sure to sew those tits in another location." The look on the blond's face was priceless but the way she eyed the three women with a smug grin before she backed off pissed Alyssa off more, "Who the fuck was that?" Alyssa asked again, watching her sister pull away, ignoring the question and heading outside, Alyssa groaning in frustration as she followed her sister outside,

"Did Jax come home last night?" Gemma asked as she quickly followed behind,

"That's not the point, she shouldn't be here. I hate this shit.." Tara spat back, trying to fit the pieces together Alyssa guess that blond was defiantly trouble, one to sleep with any man kind of trouble. Standing near Tara as Lyla pulled up, walking swiftly over to the three, Tara whispered something to Gemma before she had reached them, "Hey, have you guys seen Op?" the new bride asked, worry all over her voice, the three women talked with the worried bride, asking if everything was alright when she had confessed that Opie hadn't come home that night, the woman on the verge of tears, explaining how they haven't been on good terms. "It happens to all guys when they get married." Gemma confessed,

"Pffft.. even before then." Alyssa laughed weakly, passing her own apologies in her eyes, Tara who had been listening trying to keep calm added her own thought, "Just… just give it some time." She stuttered out, the agonizing talk coming to an end with the sounds of bikes.

The four women moved out of a small circle and walked a few steps back to give the bikes some room to ride by, Gemma and Tara taking this chance to walk away, leaving Lyla to Alyssa, "You need someone to talk to?" Lyla asked worried, but tried to smile through her own pain, a hand slipping onto Alyssa's shoulder, "No, no. I'm fine, really." Alyssa noted, smiling at the woman, the face she made took Alyssa back, Lyla's eyes were staring at a white car and back at the club house before she mouthed something and stomped quickly in the direction of the club house, "Lyla?" Alyssa murmured, watching her disappear into the club, a quick confused glance at Tara and Gemma, the look Gemma gave Alyssa knew she needed her to act, now. Turning without question, Alyssa darted into the club and after Lyla, the blond and Lyla had been talking when she ran inside, Alyssa's eyes moved away from the two and onto Thomas, who was in Piney's arms and too close to the blond.

A sudden move from Lyla and the blond pulled a gun, "There's a child here, you stupid slut!" Alyssa wailed, getting the gun pointed at her then at Gemma when she reached inside, Lyla had screamed something and the blond back at her while she moved through the club to get to the door, "Pull a gun in front of my nephew again, I'll make sure you have a few extra holes, those cocks won't know where to go." Alyssa whispered while the blond moved past her, gun pointing straight at her, then moved to Tara as her sister whispered her own threat to the whore before she was outside. Following behind Tara as she took Thomas into her arms, he was still in his happy mood even with all the hell,

"I'll never let anyone hurt you." Alyssa whispered, pressing her face into his little back, taking in his warmth and smell, squeezing Tara's arms for reassurance, "God, I hate it here.." Tara replied.

Sighing, Alyssa waved Tara and Thomas goodbye after she had fixed Opie's eye and headed outside, keeping her distance from everyone, and slumping on a stool, a vibration from her phone helped her keep the distance, it was easier to ignore people when they saw you on the phone. 'you ok?' read the message, Juice's silence finally breaking, happy that he actually took the time to ask if she was doing alright but more than pissed that it wasn't a phone call, like Happy, calling the second he heard the news, Happy calling and asking if she needed him, Happy who she wasn't fucking a week ago, "I guess I am just a sweetbutt to you." She laughed out slightly, shaking her head, speaking to no one in particular, 'sure.' She typed back, he really was the last person she wanted to talk to and the next text he sent her went unnoticed as she headed out of the club and into the office.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**__ Jeez, Alyssa is one pissed off kitty, don't mess with her family, don't do it! Anyways, I finally started to re-watch season six, writing along with it has been hard, I hate this drama but that's how it is!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Sorry about the delay! Something freaking was happening and wasn't posting this chapter, got so nervous!_

_Anyways, I own nothing but Alyssa, everything and one else belongs to the amazing Kurt._

* * *

**-CHAPTER SIX**

"So have you checked on Juice?" Tara asked, with a death threat came a lock down, having every family member present and the sister's being no different, Alyssa had already been working at the clubhouse when the lock down was first called, Tara's car was broken into that morning and someone had left a note, threatening her life and the call was made not soon after Jax found out. "What do you mean?" She asked, keeping her concentration on the papers, "What do _I_ mean... what?" Tara huffed surprisingly, stepping closer to the desk, placing her medical equipment down, covering the papers Alyssa had been working on, Alyssa glaring up at her sister in question,

"What I mean is, did you check on him? Alyssa... Juice was shot last night." Tara added, horrified that she didn't seem to understand what was going on,

"Excuse me?" Alyssa laughed, pushing Tara's equipment aside, "I'd think someone would have called me if that was true." She scoffed out, shaking her head in disbelief at her sister's words,

"Alyssa! I stitched him up myself, why in the hell would I lie about something like that?!" Tara's sudden volume taking Alyssa back, snapping her attention quickly,

"W-What…?" Alyssa whispered, lifting up and checking her back pocket pulling out her phone, messing with the call log and text messages, nothing, no one had even tried to call her, to let her know that he was shot or that he was okay.

"H-He's okay…?"voice cracking, refusing to look at Tara as she pressed quickly on the buttons, repeating the search through her call log,

"Yeah, just a little limp." Tara informed, Alyssa only being able to nod, walking past her sister and outside, ignoring the commotion at spilled through the gates and heading to the bathroom. Calling and recalling and recalling, Juice refused to pick up his phone, Alyssa knew he was okay but she needed to hear it from him in his words and with him not picking up was breaking her in ways she never knew, sliding down the wall of the bathroom, the tears started to spill out, why didn't anyone call her, why didn't anyone tell her he was fine? All these question spilling out and washing down her face, sobbing quietly in the bathroom until no tears were left,

"Hey in there… I need to use the bathroom." Tara's voice breaking her silence, with all the commotion Alyssa had been able to just sit alone in the bathroom without being bothered, "Yeah, yeah." Alyssa nodded while getting off the floor, wiping her face before opening the door, the surprised look and sudden questioning on Tara's face had been ignored, Alyssa's eyes landed on Juice the moment she stepped out of the way, her feet moving without thought.

"You fucking asshole!" She yelled, her fists hitting down hard against his chest the second he turned at the sounds of her loud stomping, "Who- What the fuck!?" He yelled back, trying to block her hits with his arms, "Why haven't you picked up your phone!? Why didn't you tell me you had gotten shot?! That you were at my sisters!? That you were shot!?" All her question spilling with tears she thought had been long gone, screaming usually coxed her body to produce more and being so confused and upset so suddenly, her body didn't seem know what to do with the emotions,

"whoa, whoa! Lassy!" Chibs' accent hollered over her, pulling her away from the wounded man,

"No one told me! You didn't tell me! He got shot! He didn't pick up my calls! Ignored me for days!" She wailed, eyes darting from Chibs and Juice,

"You're not my Old Lady!" Juice snapped loudly, stepping closer to her and Chibs, pointing in her face,

"I don't have to call you every time something happens, I don't answer to you and you don't need to know every last thing! We fucked a few times, that's it! Nothing else!" his words booming from him with such anger, hitting her hard,

"Who... Who'd want to be your Old Lady anyways!?" She hissed back, pushing herself out of Chibs' arms, "And really, just fucked? That's all? Good to know you piece of shit, good to fucking know! Next time you need to fuck your anger out or cry into some's tits, call an actual crow-eater because I'm done… done! fuck you Juice!" Alyssa shoved against his shoulder as she past him and into the chapel, Tara was called into action when the Mayan president came in with the crew members, she usually worked on people in there and Tara was the only person Alyssa wanted to see, slamming herself down onto a seat in the far back.

"Whatever that was. 'tween you and him, never again." Clay's voice demanding towards her from across the room,

"Don't worry, won't be happening again, ever." Alyssa sniffed out, wiping away the stray tears, she knew everyone had heard, they were screaming at the top of their lungs but she didn't care, she was more worried about seeing him during the the rest of the lock down, which was going to fucking suck. Losing herself in watching Tara and Chibs, Alyssa's attention slipping from the blood of the Mayan leader into an actual conversation with the man while he laid there, he was actually a pretty nice guy, a funny family man. She silenced herself whenever Clay wanted to talk and had found herself glaring down at the floor once Juice's face appeared when he had walked in,

"What happened to you, Jax was really concerned?" asked the Mayan, weakly, the question was directed to her sister and Tara was staying silence in response, not knowing how to respond before walking out. Alyssa kept her head down as the men turned the question around and talked between one another about the death threat.

"Targeting families is what drug cartels do." Juice voice blurted out, catching both Alyssa's and Tara's attention,

"Drug cartel?" Alyssa repeated, looking away from Juice and to Clay, who oddly enough looked away and to the floor, avoiding her question, pissing off both the sisters, Alyssa looking over at Juice once more, shaking her head in disapproval, everything about him being so distant and idiotic made sense and in that moment Alyssa was happy to have broken whatever it was with him off, she didn't want to anything to do with the cartel.

* * *

As everyone stepped outside with Tara, she had been told that Roosevelt, the cop, was looking for her and with the sudden emptiness Alyssa planted herself in a seat at one of the tables just outside the chapel instead of heading out with everyone else, laying her cheek against the cool surface, crying usually burned her eyes after a while and the coolness was soothing to the screaming skin. "Everything okay?" Alyssa mumbled, watching Tara come into view, trying to get back to her job with patching up the Mayan leader,

"Yeah, the cop was just worried about me." She laughed, heading back inside,

"Aren't we all." Alyssa spoke to no one, laughing lightly, closing her core eyes for a moment's peace.

"Mind if I smoke here?" Gemma asked after a few minutes, Alyssa humming in agreement while she switched cheeks, facing the queen and that famous look of questioning.

"I'm fine Gemma." Alyssa huffed out, not being able to take that look for much longer, the older woman just shaking her head in response, offering Alyssa a cigarette, "No thanks, I quit those a few years back." She smiled, closing her eyes once again, glad that Gemma was a woman who liked a quiet visit every now and again. After a while of silence, Alyssa lifted off the table, "Coffee, water, beer?" She asked walking behind the bar, "Hmm.. No I'm fine, thanks baby." Gemma smiled forwards her, Alyssa returning the smile and taking a moment to decide on what she wanted herself, grabbing a chilled water and taking a few drinks, Tara stepped out and asked the two for a moment, both nodding and following Gemma into the kitchen.

Keeping the water bottle to her lips, Alyssa listened, Tara asking Gemma a few questions about Juice's cartel assumption, "Are there drugs involved?" Tara asked, the silence from Gemma making Alyssa speak,

"Gemma?" she pushed, looking at the woman and then back at her sister as she cursed under her breath, asking more questions that had hit Alyssa's mind many times, if that was the reason for the death threats, Gemma promising that the club would keep their families safe, Tara on the verge of tears, accusing the club for the very reason of her family's endangerment,

"Jesus…" Alyssa huffed, walking out of the room, the events all leading to this was just too much for her and she didn't feel like hearing any more drama, just the fact that the club was mixed in with the cartel and their drugs was more than enough for one day, she was a little too tired to be hearing what else would get this club killed.

"Aye… uh, lassy, you got a minute?" Chibs' Scottish accent catching her attention, "Mmmhmm.." She murmured, peering up slowly from her book, eyebrows shooting up in question, "It's about… Juice." He hesitated, leaning down against the table she sat at,

"What? Didn't get enough from the screaming we did? Go away Chibs, I don't want to talk about him right n-" Being cut off by him slamming his fists, her book fumbling to the ground as she startled,

"He's not right! Look, I can't be tellin' yew' this but… sheayt!" he hesitated once more, "Follow me…" He added, walking past her and into the bathroom, Alyssa hesitated this time, Chibs utterly scared her, this being the very first time he had ever raised his voice to Alyssa but if he had to do that, then this was going to be a serious conversation.

"Look, we had some issues, a mix up, with the cartel… Miles, he… he stole some of the merchandise and lied about it." Chibs started with a whisper, running his hands through his messy locks, "Miles… he tried to kill Juice for catching him, thus the shot to the leg and why no one could say anything… Juice had to make a tough choice... he had to kill his own brother, in defense... I think that's fucking with his head." Alyssa just stared at the ground wide eyed as Chibs finished talking, her mind not being able to wrap around so much information all at once, confused about it being a reality or not,

"Is…. Is that why he's being so distant, from me…I mean?" She murmured, more to herself than Chibs.

"Aye… I don't think he means what he said. He's just in a different place." He confessed as Alyssa looked up at him, lost and broken.

"..w-what... what do I do...?" She sobbed, forcing the palms of her hands into her eyes, fighting the tears, Chibs pulling her into his fatherly embrace, the rocking and pets to the back of her head only forced the tears out harder, body racking against his as she wailed out, sobbing loudly into his chest. The hate she felt for Juice was only a mask, some way for her to cover up the fact that he worried her to the core, the many nights and days spent with him were her happiest memories not relating to family, the two just worked well together, got along so well, Juice had found some way into her life and fit in so perfectly, she didn't know what to do, didn't know how to react when he suddenly started to be so distant, she felt so hurt. Not being so well with these types of feelings she just snapped but his words that were filled with so much venom pushed her over the edge, he was still right though, she wasn't an Old Lady and she was being told to stop being so clingy about him.

These feelings for him were getting out of hand, even for Alyssa and she needed to get things fixed because even though she would deny it, Juice was someone she needed in her life and if he ended up hating her, she didn't know what she would do. Sniffing slightly as she pulled away from Chibs, she dialed Juice's number, praying that the sight of her on his phone wasn't going to push him away, but as the phone reached it's limit, she knew it was too late, he wasn't going to answer for her, not for her. "Please…." She croaked, holding onto the phone like her life depended on it.

* * *

Doing as Chibs asked, Alyssa kept her distance from the club and refrained from calling Juice until Chibs had the time to speak with him, but after a few days of not being able to work was making her restless and work really couldn't wait that long, plus asking for more time off was getting out of hand, Alyssa thought it would just be better for everyone if she got back to work, the the time she spent alone only made her worry worse, and it was getting harder each day to not try and call either Chibs or Juice. At least at work Alyssa could keep her mind busy, keep herself from the house that started to feel even more lonely the more the weeks past and just being in a new environment and being able to greet customers was better than nothing. Work had really piled up in her few days of absence, Gemma couldn't do it all without any help and with Alyssa being back, she was happy to get right into it, easily slipping into the work for a few hours before she needed to stretch out her legs. Walking around the small office, Alyssa read over a few more papers before the sound of Chibs' accent peaked her attention, being away and not in contact with anyone but Tara and occasionally Gemma, she missed the attention from the guys in the club, deciding that she would rather spend her time with Chibs instead of the paper, she headed to the door that lead into the garage. Halting when Juice's tattooed head reached her sight, he was finally home after all these days and right in front of her just a few yards away, Jax's voice momentarily moving her eyes, "What about it?" Jax questioned, looking from Juice to Chibs,

"I thought you caught it on a security chain at Oswald's?" the VP added looking back at Juice, the silence between the three men confusing her, she clung to the door frame as they continued in a more hushed manner trying to keep as quiet as possibly to listen in, Juice's voice stood out while he talked about the things that had happened those months back when he was locked up and away from home and also what had happened with Miles, he sounded weak and tired,

"It was a mistake… I know that." He stressed, another hushed exchange between Jax and Chibs before Jax dismissed Juice's hunched body, her heart skipping as he walked away, he just didn't look the same, smaller even, like his body was trying to curl into a ball to protect itself. Using all the strength left in her body to turn around, to peel her eyes away from him and head back to work but the words that hit her ears next moved her feet, her body whipping forward on the heels of her feet, dashing outside and after Juice, '_Sons don't kill themselves_.' Repeated in her head the moment they left Jax's throat, over and over again they kept saying before she reached his body, slamming into his back, the impact she made once making contact with him almost push them forward and onto the cement floors.

"Wha.. what-?" Juice tried, her arms squeezing the life out of him,

"Is it true…?" She cried into his leather,

"I don't… get off of me." He demanded weakly, pushing her arms away from him, refusing to look at her, to turn around but the sound she made surprised them both, shaking off the surprise she continued, "Juice… please.." her hands clinging to the back of the leather.

"What did I say..? What did we yell to one another...?" He cracked, turning to face her, the deep red and purple mark poking out on his neck from the opening of his leather, forcing a gasp from her, a hand sliding to the mark, Juice still refusing to look at her but allowed her hand touch him.

"You tried to… to kill yourself?" she cried out slightly, the hand on his neck moved to his shoulder, grabbing tightly to the leather over it, keeping him in place, "I don't… I don't want to lose you." She confessed, dropping her head, the tears that filled her eyelids dropping to the cement, "I don't want to fight… to hate one another…" She continued, her free hand pushing itself into one of her eyes, trying to keep the waterworks from worsening,

"…Alyssa.." He whispered back his voice broken, the sound of him being anything but his usual self broke her as well. Needing to feel him and make sure that he would stay put, she pushed herself into his body, crying quietly into his chest, he didn't move, didn't accept her but didn't push her away either, so the actions she did wasn't all a mistake. Pushing herself away after a few seconds, looking up at him while her lips formed a tight line, those lost eyes meeting with hers, he cried with her, a few tears, it showed and it fucking hurt her more,

"I need you Juice, I mean it… I don't know what it means, these feelings…. but I fucking mean it… please, don't leave me here alone..." She added as her hands slipped to his cheeks, forcing him to keep his stare on her, leaning in slightly to place a gentle kiss at the side of his mouth, taking in his defeated features one last time before retreating from him, rushing quickly away, past Chibs and back into the office, breaking down one again, this time into the couch as her body some how managed to land there.

Seeing Juice around the next day was relaxing however, he kept busy, cleaned up around the clubhouse and worked more in the garage, these things kept him away from the other club business, with his attempt at suicide, Alyssa could breathe with him being around and away from the others, keep an eye on him for her sake and because Chibs had asked her to. Embarrassed and just plain nervous about how she reacted yesterday, she kept at a distance, only smiling at him, greeting him in the mornings and added more work related things to his list, she decided that letting him settle with his own problems before dropping more by being around him was the better option. "Lass… have you seen Juice?" Chibs' heaved, running up to her quickly after she slipped from the bathroom and tried to hurry back to work,

"No? He was here a few minutes ago, I saw him working in the ga-" She started but Chibs' quickly cut her off,

"He's not there, I check. He's not picking up his cell either… did he look off lass?" the worry in his voice scared her,

"What? No. You don't think he's going to…" Alyssa shook her head, she couldn't finish that sentence, not for the life of her, looking up with her own worry, Chibs and Alyssa stared at one another for a moment before he took off outside. Heart dropping to her feet, head spinning, "This guy's going to kill me…" She huffed out shakily, taking the nearest seat.

"He's still nowhere to be found lassy, I'll call you when I can.." Chibs' Scottish banter spilled from the other line, her cell phone pressed tightly against her skull and her shoulder, her hands were filled as she placed the corrected files in the cabinets, "Just make sure he's safe… okay?" She breathed, shuffling through the files, placing a few in their rightful places before shutting it and hanging up the phone. Juice was taken in by that Roosevelt cop again, another piss test ordered by his PO but released the day before, still not picking up his cell or returning home, it was fucking worrying her to the core. Just thinking about the many ways he could off himself or do something stupid to get himself killed by someone else, was making her shake, her mind was filled with nothing and everything about him and what could be.

"Fuck!" She yelped, slamming her fist against the desk, dialing her sister's number,

"Hello?" Tara answered happily,

"Hey Tay, you leave yet?" Alyssa murmured, anything to distract herself from that idiot,

"Yeah, we stopped at that park I was telling you about yesterday, going to have lunch right now, I'll call you back?" the smile on Tara's face could be heard from a mile away, she was happy to get a break from Charming and Alyssa was beyond happy for her, another amazing job opportunity for her sister, even if it was in Oregon, Alyssa was happy for her sister, things were defiantly looking up for the Tellers.

"Kiss Able for me, I'll talk to you later." Alyssa replied happily, hanging up, the smile keeping just a little while longer before disappearing with the sound of typing. An hour or so passed before Alyssa's phone rang again, "What's up?" She asked, it was Jax this time,

"Tara's hurt! Meet me at St. Thomas!" Jax hollered in her ear before she could even ready herself,

"W-What!?" Alyssa stuttered, lifting up from her seat,

"She was attacked, please.. just meet me there Alyssa!" Jax wailed once more before hanging up,

"G-Gemmaaa!" Alyssa screeched, rushing out of the door, searching frantically for the queen, cell phone still in hand, too confused and taken back to move much more once outside and in the middle of the yard,

"GEMMA!" She screamed louder, catching the queen's wild eyes as she darted from inside the club, "Tara's been attacked, St. Thomas, NOW!" Alyssa repeated somewhat of what Jax had said. Somehow leading Gemma to the hospital, Alyssa rushed inside to meet a pacing Jackson Teller, not even able to speak a word before Tara was being rolled in, her arm wrapped up and bloody as she asked for her sons and rolling away into the X-ray room as Jax informed. Gemma quick to ask the questions that Alyssa's mind screamed,

"What happened?" She whispered to Jax, Jax whispering that she was attacked while getting abducted before being forced into a group of cops for questioning, "A-Abducted…?!" Alyssa croaked the quietest she could, gripping onto Gemma's hand tightly, body shaken, this stress was getting to much, "Shh… shhh baby. You saw what stress did to me, you need to breathe." The queen demanded, leading Alyssa to a chair, coaching her on breathing techniques.

* * *

Not really caring about who or what had came into the room, Alyssa kept her head in her hands, trying to hide herself from the world, this shit being too much. Alyssa's sister being attacked, someone who she cared a lot about trying to off himself and gone missing, just too fucking much, "What happened?" a worried Clay's voice asked as the many rushed footsteps reached the two women, Gemma who had been standing near Alyssa the whole time spoke up, letting them all know and get up to speed about the whole ordeal. A hand on her back did nothing for her, didn't help the fear and pain that engulfed her body, "Lassy…" Chibs' whispered, rubbing her back gently, he was probably the only person who could make another emotion spark through the pain, he brought comfort, something greatly needed.

Her shaking hand reaching over and gripping his pant leg, the hold on him keeping her attached to the ground, "..I'm ready to give up…. I can't do this anymore.." Alyssa whispered into a freehand, the tears were long gone, her eyes were dried out but the pain in her voice still present,

"Don't… don't say that to me." He demanded quietly, forcing her to look up at him, "I cannot hear this… not after Juicy." The pain that contorted his face only added to her pain but added another new emotion, guilt. How could she say something to someone who cared so much about the people around him, the one person who would take a bullet for anyone he considered family and there she was, telling him she wanted to quit like a coward,

"I'm sorry…" She whispered, one last tear being spilled before she turned away from him, sobbing quietly, dryly, rolling into a small ball as she brought her legs up and clung to them. The moment Alyssa was allowed to see her sister, without a word followed Jax into the place of their girl, lying her head on her sister's hospital bed, she watched as Jax soothed her head with pets and kisses, it felt wrong to watch but nothing was going to pull Alyssa way from her sister's side.

Everyone's attention turning to the Doctor as she spoke of her condition, how bad the damage was to her hand, Jax pushing for more surgeries to fix the problem and being reassured that the Doctor would do everything in his power to get Tara the best hand surgeons. Alyssa crying the moment the tears spilled from her sister's eyes, "T-Tara…" She croaked, grabbing gently at her sister's thigh, sobbing into the bed as Jax tried to consult them both from Tara's side. The vibrating of her phone almost went unnoticed by the shaking of her own body, pulling it out while whipping her eyes, they stung badly and needed sleep,

_ 'is Tara okay?'_ the message read from Juice's number, "...Juice…?" She sobbed out, standing up from the bed and stumbling slightly toward the door, nodding her wellness before leaving the couple.

"Y-You home..?" Alyssa sobbed into the phone as the other end finally picked up,

"…yeah." He replied slowly, the rush of emotion hitting her hard, so hard she slid down against the wall, slumping on the floor,

"G-Good… good…good.." She whispered into the phone, crying too hard to talk straight, he was home and Tara was going to be alright, neither of them were dead, she could breathe another day.

"How's Tara..?" He asked after a moment of silence, his voice calming her body slightly,

"Sh… She's okay.. messed up hand… surgery." She was able to get out, nodding to herself,

"..are you okay?" he asked next, she was having trouble breathing through the tears and sobs, her gross sounds probably caused the question.

"…no…" she wailed, Alyssa had not been able to cry so grossly like this since the death of her parents, to the point of not being able to calm down and breathe, she wasn't okay, she was shaken to the core and overly stressed out.

"What… what do I do? To help you..?" His concern and confusion spilling from him and into her ears, "Stop… stop leaving….stop disappearing.." She sobbed, dropping the phone and forcing her hands into her eyes as the other wave hit her body hard, gasping and holding herself, not being able to stop. What seemed like hours, Tara's screaming shook Alyssa's silence, she had stayed pressed against the wall next to her sister's door, refusing to leave or go inside, the door opening before she had the chance to get up, Jax walked out and that Roosevelt cop appeared at the same moment, forcing Alyssa to keep to the ground, "Not now bro..." Jax begged, looking down at Alyssa, the pain and tears on his face contorting her own, he shook his head before leaving, the cop's eyes followed and then met with her own pained look,

"Need help Miss Knowles?" He asked, holding out a hand,

"Thank you.." She whispered, taking his firm grip as they lifted her weak body off the ground, he nodded once before leaving, taking the opposite way than Jax.

Alyssa hesitated before walking into the waiting room, she knew Jax would be there, he would stay by Tara's side no matter what, just like her, "Mind if I join you..?" She asked once seeing his lost face staring at his cup of coffee, "Oh... yeah. Go ahead. Coffee's hot." He replied, the weakest most painful smile hitting his cheeks, tired of crying and drained of all energy, she simply nodded and decided to grab a cup of the hot liquid herself, something to wake her up.

Pouring cream into her cup as a few familiar faces entered the room and up to Jax, Alyssa allowed them their privacy of consulting a brother as she finished her own business before joining in the space, "'Lyss, how're you feeling?" Opie asked, being the first one to notice her quiet feet, "…I'm... okay.." She hesitated, keeping her eyes on the hot liquid in her hands, standing away from the chairs, away from the bodies, not caring for her distance and more about her well being, Alyssa was quickly surrounded, forced into many bear hugs by Tig, Chibs, and Bobby, the tears begging to dare show again, "I'm okay, I swear." She lied, holding the liquid to her mouth, giving herself a reason not to talk,

"No… you're not." His voice pointed out, _his_ voice, the one she talked with a few hours ago, brown hues peering up from the cup and onto a standing Juice, his face was serious, lips tightened to a thin line, "You're not a good liar." He laughed weakly, stepping closer to her, causing her to gulp the warm liquid that stilled in her mouth, her eyes darting all over his features looking for anything.

"s-shut up…" She cracked, trying hard to give him a small smile, he was trying to cheer her up with his lame jokes, the ones that caused such happy laughter long ago,

"I'm sorry I left… I had to think." Juice whispered as he pulled her into a tight embrace, the first move he's made toward her in a long time,

"…I was… I was so afraid…" she cried, moving her arms around him, gripping his dark blue shirt with her freehand, pressing herself into him hard, she was afraid he would disappear if she left go. Closing her eyes tightly, he was warm and she was so cold, it was heavenly, being pressed against his toned chest, his smell engulfing every part of her, she really just wanted to stay like this for ages but he let go, pushed her down gently into an empty seat, looking over her eyes for a moment before moving away and joining the guys, they started talking about Clay and she knew he was interested in the subject. As long as he was home, she didn't care where he sat, as long as he was home and in her view, he could sit anywhere he wanted to,

"You guys should head back, I'm staying with Tara." Jax spoke as they finished a quick chat, "Alyssa, you look dead.. You need to get some sleep." He added, begging her with his eyes, forcing her own to widen,

"Jax, that's my sister… I can't just leave.." Alyssa protested but the look Jax threw her stopped the next words,

"She's upset, she doesn't even want to see me… and I know how you get if you sleep in a hospital.. I don't want nightmares keeping you awake and having you get put in here from some sleep related injury. I promise that I'll stay here with her… please." He begged this time,

"We'll leave some prospects… come on, we'll take you home." Bobby spoke up, placing a tight grip on Alyssa's shoulders, not in any mood to argue or continue to fight, she sighed and left the room without anything else to say.

"Yew' comin' with us lassy?" Chibs' asked after Alyssa slipped outside, waiting for everyone to find her by the bikes, "Yeah, I can't be alone Chibs… Take me back to the club with you, a beer sounds great." She sighed, turning to face him, "yew sure? We gonna' pick up ah few crow-eatahs on the way.." He confessed, scratching the back of his head before looking over to Bobby and Trager, Juice finally catching up,

"Okay… who's not dipping in dirty pussy? I'll ride bitch with him." She asked, foot tapping slightly, men and their need to get their dicks wet at such an hour was just ridiculous,

"I guess that would be me." Juice confessed from behind the men,

"What? No pussy for you? Are you sure you're okay?" Alyssa teased weakly, shaking her head slightly, to be honest, she was beyond happy that he wasn't going to be with a crow-eater, Alyssa wasn't in the mood or right state of mind to see him all over someone else.

"Just… not interested at the moment." He smiled slightly, walking over to his bike,

"Alrayet! Let's get this show on da' roaaad!" Chibs' boomed, the rest of the crew getting on their bikes and starting them up,

"Here." Juice handed her his helmet after settling on the bike and starting it up himself, nodding her thanks, she strapped it on tight and slithered behind him, it was the first time riding bitch with Juice, at least sober, and it was slightly exciting, her cheeks burn with the thought, clinging to him for support as they started moving.

Laughing slightly with a lone crow-eater, one being forced to come with her friend who was all over Chibs, "So, you anyone's Old Lady?" she asked, handing Alyssa a beer, "Nah, I'm not Old Lady material." Alyssa laughed, winking at the girl, she was pretty cute, "What about you? Waiting to be a sweetbutt or something?" she murmured, watching the girl blush slightly, shaking her head,

"Oui! Are you flirting with the girl?" Juice's surprised voice asked, he was leaned against the stool beside Alyssa, looking at his phone repeatedly,

"If I am? Poor girls alone, why not make her feel pretty?" She confessed, winking over at the crow-eater's ever growing red cheeks,

"That's hot…. Let me watch when I come back." He stated, his eyes never leaving the phone as he headed outside, leaving the two girls flirting across the bar. The two girls had started making out in front of everyone when Clay stepped inside, Alyssa not noticing until a few guys asked what was wrong, moving away from the girl's face and turning to greet a beaten Clay, his face scratched up and bloody, "C-Clay?" Alyssa managed as he dashed by, a bag over his shoulder; he ignored everyone's questions and headed down the hallway into the apartments attached, everyone looking to one another in question, confusion, and worry.

* * *

Rushing back to the hospital the second she had the chance, Gemma called the day before telling her about Tara having to go back into surgery, "What the hell Tara?!" She yelled once inside her older sister's room, "Self-inflicted?! Do you want to go back to work?!" Alyssa demanded, slamming herself in the chair beside her sister's bed, "Oh course I do! I just… Wendy came to see me and I just lost it." She confessed, "That stupid junkie? The hell does she want?" Scoffing at the name of the woman, just like everyone else, she wasn't a fan of that junkie whore, "To take my son." Tara confessed, shaking her head, "No… she wants to get to know him or something like that.. can we just- can we not talk about that right now?" Tara begged, her uninjured hand massaging her temple,

"I guess… but I want to know soon, I'm getting tired of being left out around here." Alyssa agreed, huffing once more before leaning her back against the chair, asking about how Tara felt and how the arm was doing, getting lost in the medical knowledge of the condition of her sister's arm. The sister's attention quickly moving to the door as Gemma walked in,

"What happened to you?" The sisters asked in unison, Gemma's bruised and swollen face reaching closer,

"Fell down some stairs." She confessed, taking the sisters back, god did she look horrible, Tara and Gemma talked for a moment once the queen asked how she was feeling, getting shot down the second Gemma brought up the junkie. Gemma pushing Tara for answers about what Wendy wanted, Tara repeating the same things she had told Alyssa and Alyssa backing up Gemma when she denied the junkie trying to talk with that sweet baby boy, "Tara!" Alyssa snapped, Tara had been giving attitude to Gemma, even though she was only trying to help,

"What Alyssa!? She's just trying to give me another reason not to leave here!" She snapped at her sister,

"Leave? You're leaving?" Alyssa asked utterly devastated,

"Just- Just get out… both of you." Tara sighed, shaking off her sister's question, covering her face with her good hand,

"Come on baby… just leave her be." Gemma murmured, taking Alyssa's hand and pulling the two out of the room and meeting face-to-face with Jax, so angry with the fact Tara was leaving, she ignored Jax and released herself from Gemma, moving closer to the prospect on duty. "God, I hate being left out. You even know more than me!" She stomped, glaring up at the large man reading a comic, "Sorry about that." He laughed, looking down at her then up to Gemma who reached them.

Finally getting home, Alyssa walked around her living room, pacing back and forth, the fact Tara said she was leaving never disappearing from her mind, "Fuck, you can't leave me here!" Alyssa yelled into the space, after reaching Charming months back, she quit her job in Vegas, sold her home and said goodbye to everyone she came to love there, she wanted to be back in Charming, go back to those happier times when she was a teen, when life was easy, it was a huge commitment to come back and leave everything, she lost a lot of money doing so and there was no way to go back even if she wanted to. Alyssa was stuck in a not so happy Charmin, California.

"Hey I , uh, got released yesterday. I need some help at home… my arm and all." Tara's nervous voice echoing on the speaker of her cell phone, just finishing up in the shower, Alyssa whipped herself clean from all the water droplets. "I guess so Tara." She agreed, not too happy, hanging up and getting dressed in some Jeans and a simple white tank top, hair pulled away from her neck and face, little too hot out for her liking and being around Tara after last night was the last thing on her agenda, but being the good sister she was, deiced no helping her injured sibling anyways. Opening the door and being greeted by Tara in the kitchen, a prospect and her talking civilly,

"Morning." Alyssa announced, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a cup of coffee while being greeted back by the two, "So what do you need help with?" Tara had started to pack and told Alyssa her and Jax's plan on leaving to Oregon, slight protest but utter agreement came from Alyssa when Tara explained how dangerous it was for the boys,

"I just… I'll miss you… all of you.." Alyssa sighed, handing Tara a bag filled with supplies from the bathroom, watching as she put them in her luggage,

"I know and you also know that you are welcome anytime you want to come over, I won't deny those boys their Aunty 'sissa." Tara smiled, folding something of Thomas' with her one good hand, Alyssa's mouth opened to insisted on folding the piece clothing when Gemma talked in the room, displeased by the sight,

"'nother vacation?" Gemma teased distastefully while Tara only answered back with her own snappy comment, '_here we go again_.' Alyssa thought, shooting a look to Tara, Gemma's eyes moving between the girls before speaking, "Clay… was shot last night."

Alyssa's eyes growing wide, "What?" she whispered, looking over at Tara who only eyed her bed, nodding,

"I know.." she replied finally, Alyssa only scoffing, clearly what she asked about being in the loop was completely disregarded,

"…by Opie." Gemma's words catching both the girl's by surprise,

"Opie?" Alyssa started,

"What.. why would he do that?" Tara finished, looking fully at Gemma,

"Because…Clay killed his father… Piney is dead." Silence hitting all three women as Gemma continued, "He put a shotgun to his chest." Tara and Alyssa gasping in slight horror, Tara moving to join Alyssa on the bed, the sister's attention directly up at Gemma as she finished for just a moment, the three sharing a look before Gemma herself moved to sit on the bed.

"He killed him because he thinks he had the letters." Gemma added, looking directly at Tara,

Alyssa confused, "Letters?" She asked, the two looking at her for a moment then back to one another,

"No.. Piney didn't….He never even saw them.." Tara gasped out, lost Alyssa shook her head, trying to piece together what she was missing,

"He's the one who tried to have you killed Tara." Gemma confessed, this forcing Alyssa to her feet, "Clay hired those men who came after you." She confessed again,

"How do you know that?" The sister's demanded, staring daggers at the queen while she explained how money went missing in their personal safe, how she confronted Clay about it and was beaten in return. "Clay will keep hurting everyone and everything that gets in his path… until he gets those letters."

"What fucking letters?" Alyssa asked again, looking between the women again,

"Alyssa.. please." Tara begged, looking back at Gemma, "… he threatened me yesterday.. told me, Jax and I would never make it out of Charming unless I gave them to him." The two women kept talking about the letters, Alyssa moving to lean against the dresser in front of the two, listening but not contributing, clearly she was out of this loop and wasn't going to be included. Gemma ended up begging for these letters, confessing that this was everyone's last option on staying alive, Tara adding that if that did happen, everyone living that is, she would be out of Charming with Jax and the boys the second she had the chance, and after Gemma agreed, she moved from the bed and next to the dress by her sister's hip, pulling out a single key and handing it over to Gemma, explaining the letter's location. Sighing, Alyssa walked out of the room, she was done with the whole conversation of letters, death, and Clay,

"Can I have him?" She asked sitting on the couch next to the prospect holding Thomas, the two watched Gemma storm from the house before he spoke,

"Sure." He smiling, handing the child to her, once in her arms, everything bad in the world was gone,

"You're the only one who can make me this happy… well expect your brother, of course." She smiled, pressing her nose to Thomas' as he slept, all the innocence in the world written over that beautiful sleeping face, nothing was going to hurt this child, not Clay, not Wendy, she'd make sure of it.

After a few hours, Alyssa woke up with no sign of Thomas, she had fallen asleep on the couch and made a nest with her body to protect him from falling off and had expected for him to still be near, panicking she lifted off the couch, "Hello?" She called out, running to the baby's room, he was fast asleep in his crib, Alyssa only relaxing slightly before checking on Able, where he slept in his own room as well.

"Tara?" Alyssa called out before entering the room Jax and her sister shared, not a soul was in the house but her, picking up her phone and dialing Tara, she returned to the baby's room, slumping into his rocking chair, "Finally awake?" Tara answered with a laugh,

"Haha, very funny. Where the hell is everyone? I woke up all alone, freaked me the hell out." She demanded, "Heading home right now, Jax had church and I needed to be at this one, sorry for not waking you but I needed a quick babysitter." She pleaded, "Jax is the president now and we're staying in Charming." Tara added before handing the phone to Jax, filling her in as much as he could, "Well damn.… hurry home then, I need to go to work in the morning."


	7. Chapter 7

_So I posted a new story, another S.O.A related one, please check if out if you're interested, tell me what you think!_

_Anyways, I hope this story will have a happy ending but you know how Kurt is, we'll see how things turn out between Juice and Alyssa, I want all things to work, but life is hard, even in Charming._

* * *

**-CHAPTER SEVEN**

"You need a ride to Piney's or you're taking your truck?" Juice asked lifting off the bed, sleep still hovering over his features, "Hmm… Pick me up." Alyssa muffled into the pillow, peaking at his naked body before he disappeared into the bathroom, "Why do you have to leave so early… I like morning sex too you know." she spoke louder, turning over and stretching her body awake; the few weeks after Jax had been appointed president went by fast, the two rekindled their sexual acts after one drunken night, almost back to their normal selves, things were different, they were different, happier being around one another, even able to call one another by a pet name, though it still didn't finalize anything- Alyssa still wasn't an Old Lady. "Yeah, Yeah. I promised Clay I'd help him move in the new place, sorry babe." He apologized peaking at her from the bathroom door, toothbrush shoved into his mouth, Juice was still as loyal to Clay as usual, she couldn't blame him, she promised Jax to keep what she knew a secret, he wanted to tell his club members himself, and she also could never stop hating Clay either, with all the betrayal to her family and hurt, forgiveness wasn't possible.

"Call me when you're on your way, I don't feel like getting up any time soon." She mumbled, still tired from last night's sex, Juice was done getting dressed and was ready to get going,

"You're so lazy sometime… I'll be done soon. See you later." He laughed, stretching across the bed to plant a kiss on her tired lips, her hands keeping him there for a moment as they wrapped around his neck,

"No.. I gotta' go!" He breathed between kisses, his smile spreading on his cheeks as she pouted and released him,

"Fine! Get before I jump on you." She huffed, waving him goodbye, sighing as the house felt silent, Alyssa pulled the covers up to her chin and drifted back to sleep.

* * *

Finishing up in the shower and brushing her teeth, Alyssa slipped into all black attire, dress pants and a decent black shirt with high heels, pulling her long dark locks up into a tight bun and out of her face, not bothering to deal with any make-up or accessories. Piney was someone she loved for a long time as a child, being around most of her life, she loved him just as much as she loved Opie, he was another father figure in her life, a much needed one when things were hard as kids, Piney was a huge part of her family. Dealing with the death of someone so special was never easy, Piney was found murdered by a rival crew, or at least that's what some people were told, Alyssa knew what really went down and was pleaded into keeping quiet about it, she did was she was told but every minute that past by, Alyssa was starting see just how much she could really hate a person. Juice pulled up minutes later, dressed in a white shirt and gray pants, his leather zipped up,

"You look good baby." She smiled sadly, kissing his cheek before she adjusted herself behind him, riding until they met up with the rest of the , like any ceremony, everyone liked to ride into it together, have one last ride with the dead member for they were laid to rest for good. The ceremony was private, small and something Piney would have loved, surrounded by his friends and loved ones, Alyssa was right to keep it natural any make-up would have been ruined by the start, her eyes overflowed many times, seeing Opie and his children, saying goodbye personally to the casket, and the loving words some had to say about Piney.

* * *

"Bobby should be heading here any minute, so stick around." Juice smiled, even though it was such a sad day, like any adult, she had to work, not bothering to change at home like Juice offered and joined the guys at the club house, she didn't mind working in her getup, sitting most of the time so she knew the heels wouldn't be much of an issue. Looking through the window as the men hollered suddenly, Alyssa smiled to herself, good old Bobby Elvis was home, "Bobbyyyy!" Alyssa yelled, rushing up to him and weaving through the guys,

"What, heels? For me? Shit! I must be loved." Bobby laughed, opening his arms wide for her, Alyssa slipping into them happily, wiggling with him,

"Whoa, whoa. This one's mine." Juice laughed, pulling Alyssa closer to him,

"Oh, so you're a thing again? Don't fuck up this time or I'll take her." Bobby teased, pointed a stern finger to Juice,

"He's right you know… I can't resist that belly forever." Alyssa confessed jokingly, blowing a kiss at the older man, Juice pretending to be crushed, few laughs exchanging from the cheerful group, "alright, alright. Fun's over, we have church in ten." Jax's voice taking control, as he lead everyone into the club house, expect Alyssa, "I still have work to do, have fun." She smiled waving Juice away before she turned around and headed back to the old office, back to her responsibilities, she was actually starting to have to do more and more as Gemma showed up less and less.

"Did you know Tara was putting the kid's in daycare?" Gemma demanded as she barged into the room, taken by surprise Alyssa jumped, spilling her drink on the floor,

"J-Jesus Gemma!" Alyssa snapped, looking up at the waiting queen, sighing in defeat, "yes Gemma I did… but I tried to tell you, to call you but Christ, Gemma, you never answer your phone anymore!" Alyssa pleaded, picking up her foam cup and setting it in the trash, looking up at the woman with an apologetic look in her eyes, she felt sorry for Gemma after the fight with Clay they both just deflated. "…what's going on with you?" She asked, watching the older queen tightened and un-tightened her lips, avoiding her gaze, "Nothing's wrong… just need some time, to myself is all." Gemma confessed, placing her purse on the desk before leaving the room and Alyssa's unanswered questions.

Taking work slowly, Alyssa tried to get those answers before the end of the day, but Gemma had slipped away before anyone could notice, Alyssa worked in a displeased mood the rest of the day. "Hey, let's go to my place tonight, yeah?" Juice questioned while on his break, he was the only person who could get her to smile tonight.

* * *

"Hold on, hold on." Alyssa gasped, reaching over to her nightstand, her cell phone had been ringing off and on for a few minutes now, "Really? Right Now?" Juice breathed, his head crashing down on the pillow, his hands flinging on both either side of him, "It's Tara! Your dick can hold on, she doesn't call like this." Alyssa hushed, kissing against his erect dick before answering,

"Important?" Alyssa demanded,

"The hell took so lon- wait….. I don't want to know. Can you come over?" Tara hesitated, Alyssa's eyes looking up at the clock then back to Juice's aggravated face,

"Not…. Really? Why, what's wrong?" she asked, moving a hand to Juice's erection, messing with and jacking it off it slightly, his face flipping into pleasure, nodding in approval, trying his best to keep his coos of pleasure quiet,

"Jax, Tig, and Chibs have to go into hiding, the police are looking for them… Jax and Chibs' left already with the help of the all mighty queen." Tara huffed, Alyssa jumped off the bed immediately, this forced Juice to lift up and question her silently, she slapped at his feet before rushing to her clothing,

"Alright, I'll be right there." Juice's questionable look intensifying in response to her words,

"What's going on!?" He demanded, gesturing to his dick, clearly not getting the reason for Alyssa's movements.

"Jax, Tig, and Chibs are in trouble with the cops, you need to start making phone calls or something because this is serious." Alyssa hissed, wiggling into her once forgotten pants, Juice scrambled out of bed and into his own clothes from her words and the tone of her voice, they both knew this wasn't time to play around, getting dressed in a matter of seconds and heading out the door,

"I'll make it up to you, promise." She mewled softly, kissing Juice's lips a few times as he settled onto his bike,

"You better." He murmured with smiled before slipping his helmet and glasses on, starting the bike and screeching away, Alyssa doing the same in her truck. Not much longer before she was barging into the house, scaring Rat, the prospect, as she did, "The fuck happened?" She demanded, once finding her sister in the kitchen, her hands fumbling with a lighter and a joint,

"Since when did you get back into smoking?" Alyssa asked once more, settling into the seat closest to her sister, taking the smoke away from her hands and taking a few hits herself, "Doesn't matter, does it?" Tara laughed sarcastically, "I suppose not… so now, tell me… what happened exactly?" Alyssa sighed out, handing the joint back to her sister.

* * *

The ruckus Tara made the next morning snapped Alyssa awake, she had been running back and forth from her room to the kitchen, "The hell…?" Alyssa whispered, sleep still deep in her throat, "I have to meet with Jax, the lawyer and ugh.." her sister blurted, making sure she had certain things in her purse, running back into the room as Alyssa got up and stretched, "Can I come?" Alyssa pondered once Tara returned into the kitchen, "Uhh… sure. Let me call Jax and we'll get going." Tara mumbled, the sounds of their house phone's buttons sounding in the kitchen, while Tara talked with Jax, Alyssa stepped into the bathroom. Once she was up and actually moving around, Alyssa noticed that she wasn't really all that hot, a sickly feeling bubbling in her stomach, the same feeling she had on and off for about almost two weeks straight now, blowing out slowly Alyssa gulped down the lump in her throat, the feeling was getting a little too much for her this morning, knowing that her sister might not mind, she decided to looked through the medicine cabinet. She had found some nausea suppressant pills, the pricier version from the one she had at home, thanking her sister's need for medicine in her home, she took two and kept it moving. "Ready to go?" her sister asked once Alyssa was out of the bathroom and back into the living room, "Yeah… I hope you don't mind I stole some pants, I don't think walking around a lawyer in pajamas is pretty wise." Alyssa laughed as the two women walked out the house, "Oh I don't mind, not at all… because you're driving." Tara winked, walking to the passenger side of Alyssa's dodge,

"Oh, great." Once both settled inside, Alyssa groaned, driving was fun and all but she hated driving places she didn't know or remember, "SO...where in the hell is this place?"

The second they walked in to this place called Diosa, Alyssa was taken back by the pretty faces everywhere, even on the walls, "The hell kind of place…?" Alyssa whispered to her sister, who she knew was thinking the exact same thing, "Over there." Tara pointed with a nod, a woman and Gemma were sitting at a table near by, Jax and the boys standing around it as well, "And who's this?" The unfamiliar woman asked, Alyssa smiling slightly and offering a hand,

"Employee of Teller-Marrow and Doctor Knowles' sister, Alyssa Knowles." Alyssa replied, the woman nodding and taking Alyssa's hand with a firm shake, "Good to know, I'm assuming you have some knowledge of what's going on?" the woman adding before moving on, Tara took the last available seat, so Alyssa chose a spot on the wall next to Bobby, trying to keep up with the conversation. They went on about Damion Pope and what had happened with Trager's daughter and what was going to happen to the three avoiding arrest.

"Mom, Alyssa, keep an eye on Tig." Jax ordered, catching both women by surprise, but no protesting, Alyssa followed Gemma to the broken down Tig, "Oh… I'm so sorry…Tiggy…" Alyssa cracked, leaning down in front of him, pulling his slumped body into hers, there were no words to say, no actions to make him feel better, losing a offspring wasn't something Alyssa knew about but she knew death and how it fucked with your emotions. Rocking him slightly while hushing and petting at his head for a while, Alyssa then lead him gently into Gemma, who was better at comforting than Alyssa, staying by their sides, not caring to be on the floor, as long as he was surrounded by people he loved, Trager was calmer. "Um.. Gemma, we have a problem, we need to take you home." Chibs voiced as him and Bobby reached the saddened three, "What problem?" Gemma spat, not wasting any time,

"Your house was broken into and.. Unser was attacked." Bobby added, both women lifting from their seats,

"Stay here with Tiggy, I can handle this." Gemma waved at Alyssa, wanting her to sit on the couch in her old spot, hesitating,

"You sure… I can always-" Alyssa started but Gemma's hand stopped her,

"I know, you're always there to help…but don't worry baby, Tig needs more comfort than I do." She smiled, turning back to Chibs and Bobby, heading out the door minutes later. Sighing, Alyssa curled up next to Trager, wrapping him into her as he sobbed slightly, hiding his face into her shoulder.

Alyssa's eyes pulled up, catching Juice and the others walking into Diosa, "Oh hey, I didn't know you were here." Juice spoke once facing her and Trager, "Come on buddy, we're going to help you get your other daughter." Juice murmured, pulling the man off the couch, Alyssa helping with a gentle push to his back, "Don't… get hurt, okay?" Alyssa spilled once Juice handed Trager off to another member, turning back to her, "I really try not to." He laughed a bit, taking Alyssa's hand when she reached closer to him pressing her head into Juice's chest, Alyssa wasn't concerned about trying to hide anything with him anymore, she knew she had feelings for him, not sure how strong yet, but she knew it was something a little deeper than just simply liking, plus after that huge fight at the clubhouse, everyone soon knew out about their relations and how they spent their time together,

"Hurry back and take me home, I'm starving." Alyssa smiled, moving from his chest to peer up at him, his smile piercing her heart all over again, the two pulled one another into a small kiss.

"Oui! Came' on den!" Chibs' stern voice ordering them, in his own language, to stop and focus on the task at hand, Alyssa bit at Juice's bottom lip before releasing him and settling back onto the couch, watching the crew walk over to Jax and Tara, who had been doing the same thing,

"These damn couples, I'm gettin' tired of this shiayet!" Chibs' boomed before everyone walked out.

* * *

"I'm getting married." Tara confessed after a long hour of silence,

"I .. know?" Alyssa replied, looking up from her phone and to her sister confused,

Taking a moment, Tara sighed, "I mean… today." she informed, a small smile curling to her lips,

"And what does that mean?" Alyssa asked with a mocking tone that matched Tara's,

Tara frowned, "It means, my loving sister, that Jackson and I will be getting married here…. Today… when he gets back." Tara's eyes left her sister's this time, something she did when she was telling the truth and didn't really want to continue the conversation, which was just out of the question.

Alyssa scoffed, "Here? Today? Nothing big and fancy? Just here… married… here?" this place was fancy but not wedding fancy, shit, people were having sex in the other rooms!

"I know… a brothel wasn't my exact choice either but if Jax is really turning himself in tonight… we don't know how long and… it's hard.. ugh, I know, it's stupid huh? Should I just tell him to wait?" Tara blurted, starting to regret herself and her decisions, but really, the couple both had a point, they loved one another enough to not care for the place, so long as they were finally married, which tugged at Alyssa's heart.

"No, do it. I think it's a wonderful idea... because you are right. You don't know anything about how long Jax will be gone and why wait when you know you love one another?" smiling brighter, Alyssa was happy for her sister, she knew how much this man meant to her, and the way Tara's face twisted with confusion as Alyssa's sudden turn around made Alyssa laugh, after a few nods of approval Tara's face soon changed into a small smile and some blush to add,

"You know what… you're right. I want to be Mrs. Teller already!"

.

With the safe arrival of the men, Tara followed Alyssa into the bathroom, "It's been my dream to do your hair... or your make-up for your wedding." Alyssa confessed, pulling out a brush from her purse and brushing through the knots of her sister's hair. "Yeah.. I always wanted it to be you or mom." Tara pointed out herself, a small pang hitting both of their hearts with the confession,

"I know… but all we have is each other and soon, you just won't need me anymore... I'll be alone." Alyssa sighed, pulling Tara's hair into a high ponytail,

"What?" Tara laughed before the bathroom door opened, both their eyes dropping from the queen's obviously pissed off face,

"You looking for me?" Tara asked with slight venom, the two were not on good terms lately and it was obvious to everyone,

"Shyeahh." Gemma spat back, placing her purse down and fixing her free arms to her hips, Alyssa moving away from her sister as Tara added on a little bit of make-up,

"Gemma…" Alyssa pleaded, Gemma just shaking her off,

"I'm upset with you too." Gemma added, not taking her eyes away from Tara, but Alyssa knew who that was meant for. The two women arguing over that fact Gemma wasn't invited, Alyssa saw both sides of the story but didn't feel like butting in, she'd get her own lecture when it was her turn, with Jax peeking into the bathroom Alyssa took this as a chance, slipping past him and outside, reaching Juice,

"Why am I always in the middle." She sighed, more to herself than to him,

"You're too nosy, that's why." Juice joked, pulling Alyssa into a quick kiss, knowing quite well that she would have bit his head off for admitting something like that, also he knew how weak she was to his kisses, he used them to his advantage, a lot. Alyssa growled under his lips, sending her teeth digging into his bottom one before she got lost in the kiss. Their lips twisted within one another, a tongue pushing against the other ever now and again, smiles and laughs coming from ether or, forgetting where they were. Snapping back into reality, Alyssa bite her lip, staring up into his smug smirk, he knew what he did to her and she hated how easily it showed, "I can't stand you..." She huffed out, pulling away from him and heading over to her designated spot, being the maid of honor and all.

The ceremony was quick, awkward and amazing all at the same time, even though it was in a brothel and they were both dressed in casual attire, the love that spilled from both Jax and Tara was intense and amazing, almost bringing Alyssa to tears. However, what caused a single tear to escape was Chibs and his small speech for the couple, it was one of he knew by heart and it was sweet, just like Chibs. A few more tears escaped once the couple had their sealing kiss, the small group that watched cheered and hollered for the couple, everyone soon getting up and surrounding the newlyweds.

"Brotherrrr!" Alyssa cheered, pulling Jax into a tight hug, "I'm so happy for you both." She cried out, rocking with Jax a few times before moving to her sister, no words were needed, having one another there for such an event was more than they could have asked for and the hug they shared was adding to the love that expelled from the room. Alyssa laughed a bit, whipping her tears and taking Tara's face in her hands,

"I'm so happy for you… Mrs. Teller." With another sob that escaped Alyssa, the sisters laughed, releasing one another so that the other members of the crew could congratulate. "They're good for each other." Juice smiled, wrapping an arm around Alyssa's shoulder,

"They really are, I'm jealous." She confessed, staring at the happy couple, "It must really be nice to be an Old Lady." Joking out, only slightly. Processing her words, Alyssa sighed, pulled away from Juice's grasp again, ignoring his protesting sounds and headed over to Gemma, being around Juice during times like these were hard on her, she knew that she was falling a little more and more each day for him and it was scaring her. Alyssa didn't deal with these situations well, she didn't know how to come about them, tell him how she felt. What if Juice didn't feel the same? What if what Happy said a while back was true, Juice using her?

Gulping a bit, she closed herself off, Juice never asked for her to be his Old Lady and unless he said otherwise, it just wasn't going to happen. When you're only there for sex, that's all you're needed for.

* * *

Moving the party to the clubhouse when Jax was called for a sudden meeting, everyone who wasn't riding alongside Jax stuck around until he came back, "How long do you think they'll be in there?" Tara asked after a few hours, the question being asked for anyone who could answer, which no one could. The hours went like nothing, the ride for Jax, Trager, and Chibs pulled up before anyone could blink, everyone on their feet at this point, pacing slightly as the three circled with goodbyes around the room,

"Watch my family." Jax pleaded, pulling his new sister-in-law close after he peeled away from his wife, squeezing the girl with everything he had,

"With my life Jackson.." Alyssa added, holding onto Jax's face, "Don't you worry, I'll make sure those boys and my sister are safe... I'll make sure they are protected." She promised again, nodding before releasing him and pulling Chibs into a tight hug,

"Ah lass… don't worry about me too much." His Scottish accent laced with worry and pain, kissing her cheek before moving on to the next person, Trager was quick to pull away from every hug, ready to get this whole ordeal over with,

"This never gets easier…" Alyssa whispered into Juice's arm, holding onto it for support, these men were in danger by going in and everyone knew it, everyone was fucking worried. Following the men outside, Alyssa stayed close to Juice, following him whenever he pulled her forward, the two stopped just a few inches from the three men, watching close hand as they were cuffed, everything quiet and slow until Opie pulled up, he walking quickly over to the crew, probably there to say goodbye to his brothers before they headed inside, like any caring-

"Opie!" Alyssa gasped out, he'd punched Roosevelt clear in the face, hitting another officer before being forced to the ground, no one having any opportunity to do anything when the backup cops pulled guns on the remaining crew members, yelling to keep back, Alyssa's grip on Juice's hand tightened in fear the moment everything happened, '_what the hell is going on!?_' she yelled in her mind, watching as Opie continued to wrestle under the weight of the cops, Roosevelt yelling for Opie to join the rest of the men inside. A few faces disappeared inside the clubhouse as Jax and the rest were locked inside the vehicle, Alyssa, Tara, Juice, Happy, and Bobby watching until the very end, each light disappearing with the men they all cared about. Bobby and Tara leaving after a few minutes of standing there, with a sigh, Alyssa's hand slithered into Happy's, the other filled with Juice's hand she had never let go of during the whole event, Alyssa pulled the men, leading the two into the club,

"I think we all need a drink." She pressed, looking at each guy that was attached to her.

.

A sudden urge to throw up hit Alyssa hard, forcing her awake and into the bathroom before her brain could process what was happening, already too late, Alyssa settled with the sink, spilling the nonexistent contents of her stomach, beer and last night's other booze spilling from her mouth and nose. "Jesus, 'the hell did you drink last night?" Juice mumbled into the pillow as Alyssa hit the bed again, clutching her wrecked body,

"Same shit as always…" She groaned, pulling her pillow over her head, even though it was early morning, the light still stung her head,

Looking her over, Juice shook his head, "You probably over did it." her sighed, pulling her close before slipping back to sleep,

"We have to get up in an hour…" she laughed, he only groaned into her shoulder, disliking the limit to his sleeping. Coxing the big baby out of bed, Alyssa hit the shower, spending the night at the club's apartment always made her feel dirty and after puking her brains out, a nice cold one sounded pleasant. Drying off and changing into last night's attire, she slipped outside, feeling almost worse than when she got up, rushing quickly into the office for the seat, she sighed when her stomach stopped complaining with the movement,

"Fucckk…" She groaned, turning the computer on and laying her head on the desk while it loaded up,

"You look like shit." Gemma informed as she walked into the office only a few minutes later, Alyssa was clutching the trashcan by then, she had thrown up a few more times alone, she was just plain afraid to put it down.

Alyssa frowned, "You're one…t-to talk.." she groaned out, her eyes landed on the hickies that covered most of Gemma's neck,

"You sick or something?" Gemma asked ignoring the woman's words, pulling Alyssa by the arm gently and moving her to the couch,

"I think so… some bug going around maybe? Or just realllly hung-over… I've been feeling sick for like two weeks now.. or something like that." She sighed, lying down on her back, pulling her feet up, a hand still clutching onto the trashcan,

"I hope you're not pregnant." Gemma laughed, turning toward the computer screen once settled on the seat Alyssa once took, logging in and checking a few things, leaving Alyssa to her own mind after that statement.

While Gemma worked on a few papers, Alyssa's mind came to the sudden realization about how many times she and Juice had actually had sex without her taking a pill or forgetting to take them like she was supposed to and the count was far too many for her comfort, "Gemma….How much are pregnancy tests…?" Alyssa whispered nervously, the palm of her hand pressing hard into an eye socket,

Stopping in her tracks, Gemma's head snapped back to Alyssa's direction, "Oh shit." Gemma cursed, "Is it Juice's?" she stressed, forcing Alyssa's eyes to open wide and hands throw up into the air, brushing off Gemma's words, Alyssa didn't want to even think about it,

"Wait! No, It can't be… I had a lot to drink these past weeks, I'm just hung-over…. Like I said… hung-over. No way I could be pregnant, not me." Alyssa stuttered with a nervous laugh, shaking her head, waving off the question,

"Do you guys… you know, use protection?" Gemma asked, rolling the chair closer to the sickly woman, Gemma's motherly ways taking over,

"What? I mean… yeah. I'm on birth control but… we stopped using condoms like months ago…. Maybe two months after he got out of jail. Birth control is a good enough contraceptive, right?" Alyssa's nerves forcing her to sit up, the trashcan now on her lap,

"Nothing's set in stone baby… you have a better chance when you use both, condoms and birth control... haven't you talked to you mom ab-" rethinking of finishing that sentence, Gemma grabbed Alyssa's hand as Alyssa started to dry heave from the stress of the conversation, the mix of emotions were not settling right with her stomach. Not having a mom, nor a father, Alyssa didn't really know all that well about keeping safe and using both, she had to learn those types of things on her own, too nervous to ask anyone in the club or her own sister.

"I'll pick up some pregnancy test, ones I know are pretty accurate… if you're not feeling better by the time I get back from visiting the boys, I'll take you home." Gemma added before leaving, telling Alyssa to rest when she needed to and drink lots of water.

"I…. there's no way I could be pregnant... right?"


	8. Chapter 8

**-CHAPTER EIGHT**

"Tara… I am not feeling good and Gemma won't answer the phone, can you get me?" Alyssa moaned out, not being able to get much work done, between throwing up and napping, there wasn't going to be anymore working today.

"Where's Juice? I mean, yeah I can but you usually call him." Tara wondered, the sound of his name filling her with fear,

"Uh.. no.. no… I need you.." Alyssa stuttered, whipping the sweat off her forehead, cold and clammy was all she felt when making contact,

"Alright, I'm just leaving work, be there in a few minutes."

With that she hung up, biting at her bottom lip, Juice's name sent an uneasy feeling all throughout her body, how was she even going to face him after today's thoughts? He would make her nervous and nervousness just made her feel even sicker than ever, if she had to face him now, she'd probably throw chucks all over his shoes, so no, Juice would have to be a person and topic she'd have to avoid.

Tara reached her pale sister in no time, "My god… you okay?" she started, placing a hand against Alyssa's sweaty head, "What is all your symptoms?" Tara added once feeling and seeing full hand the condition of her sister,

Frowning, Alyssa pushed a hand up, stopping her sister, "No… don't doctor me, you know I hate that. Just take me somewhere else." Alyssa pushed, shaking her head. Nodding, Tara helped Alyssa pack up a few things and headed to the car and drove the two back to Tara's home, "I thought you'd feel a little better once you hung out with the boys." She smiled, picking up Thomas from his car seat after unbuckling Able, who had ran to Alyssa's side, holding tightly to her hand and telling her that he would be her doctor instead.

"Like always, you were right." Alyssa smiled, looking up at Tara weakly, letting the hyper toddler pull her inside and to the couch, forcing her to sit down,

"Be careful with Aunty, she's not feeling good." Tara warned, watching the toddler jump around and hand her sibling toys, Alyssa only laughing more,

"He's my doctor, not you!" Alyssa added with mocking tone, winking at the smiling Able and gaining a stern head shake from Tara, "You're worse than him." She added before placing Thomas in his playpen, getting herself settled inside.

"A few guys are going to come over in a few hours, go to sleep until then, alright?" Tara added before disappearing, returning with a blanket, water, and some pills, doing as she said once Able was hushed by some action movie and a few more toys, lost in the world of boys.

Waking up to the door bell and loud mouths of the sons, Alyssa was greeted by a worried Happy, "Hey baby, what's going on?" He spoke sweetly, he was used to seeing her sick and was usually the first to notice when she was, being around her so much during her hardcore party stage, he was more than enough comfort she needed, at least from a guy,

"I feel like I'm puking my guts out." Alyssa laughed, pulling the covers higher to her face, Bobby patting her shoulder when Able stole Happy's attention, pulling him into the kitchen with Tara.

"Feel better soon girlie." Bobby added his sympathy before joining the rest in the kitchen. Alyssa sighed, pressing her head against the pillow on the couch, really to slip back into sleep,

"Opie was killed." Tara blurted out as she walked out of the kitchen, Happy and Bobby right next to her, their eyes wide and confused, matching Alyssa's before she sat up.

"W-What..?" She murmured, holding her spinning head, she had gotten up too fast for her body's comfort,

"Opie was killed." Tara repeated, staring blankly at Alyssa.

* * *

The next morning, Alyssa left her sister's home and found herself back at her own, showering and changing for work was a lot harder when she had to throw up every ten minutes, nothing stayed in her stomach, only a cracker or two. "I'll see you at the club, I have to work today, just let me know what Jax says if I don't find him." Alyssa sighed into the phone, too sick and tired to even think of crying, she did enough with Tara last night and her body was just plain weak, driving there was another task that seemed impossible today, any sharp turn or fast movement instantly flipped her stomach, "…Jesus… fuck!" She yelled once jumping from the truck, using the door for leverage, this whole being sick thing was getting old, fast. Today was going to be a long one, she felt it in her gut, work was hell, not many papers to do and just too many repos were on the menu today, nothing was happening that would make the day just fly by, not a damn thing.

"Can you come with me to Lyla's…" Tara's voice broke Alyssa's concentration, turning away from the screen and to her sister,

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Are we going to… to.. you know?" Alyssa murmured, staring up with lost eyes herself, sadness shared between the two sisters over losing someone who they had such a close bond with, they knew that hearing it from us would help only slightly for Lyla, hearing something like this isn't something anyone should do but living the life that they did, there was no turning away from it and it was just hard, on everyone.

"Yes… god, I'll call you once I am heading over there… you feeling any better?" Tara asked, sitting on the couch with the baby, Able was off playing with a prospect in the play area,

"No, god no. I'm throwing up everywhere and then this shit with Op… ugh. It's not fucking helping, if anything it's making my sickness worse." She sobbed out, holding her head, the stress and emotions mixing all together, "I hate this…. Living like this… so much death…" Alyssa broke harder, Tara quick to her feet, holding Thomas in one hand as she kneeled down by her sister, Thomas tried to help as well by grabbing a tight hold on his aunts long locks, forcing a sad laugh from Alyssa,

"I know.. it's hard but we chose this… and there's… no backing out for me.. but you, you can leave, you can get out." Tara added, nodding hopefully at her sister, Alyssa only shaking her head in protest, sniffing hard, Alyssa knew that she might not be able to do what her sister hoped, not when certain events might just be happening.

"Tara… I think.. I think I might pregnant." Alyssa confessed, keeping her eyes locked on the floor, the tears she tired desperately to hold back had found their way out, "…Juice.." She added before looking up and faced an utterly surprised Tara, lost by the words her sister confessed, "I can't back out of here…. I mean… I.. maybe I can.. Gemma promised me pregnancy tests yesterday but she was a no show… So I might not even be pregnant… god, I hope not!" Alyssa wailed, shaking her head while she shoved her palms into her eye sockets hard, trying to push the fear away,

"I can't have a kid… I'm not an Old Lady… I'm not married….. fuck! I don't even think he loves me! Ho-How can I have a kid with someone who doesn't fucking love me..!?" She cried, leaning her body back against the chair, "…he doesn't love me…" She repeated before the sudden surge of emotion was threatening to spill out again, grabbing the trashcan and throwing up the few crackers she managed to get down hours ago. "Go, just tell me when you're heading to Lyla's…" Alyssa pushed, resting her head on the edge of the trash, pleading for this conversation to end with her sister. Tara hadn't said a word and good thing, Alyssa was too broken down to hear any.

A few words and tears shared between Gemma and Alyssa once Gemma stormed in and asked if Opie's death was real, apologizing many times for not bringing her any tests or taking her home, Alyssa telling her many times that it was fine and not to worry about it,

"Let's go and see if we can help with arranging things for Opie." Alyssa asked, pulling Gemma off the couch, whipping away the few tears that strayed on the queen's cheeks,

"You're still beautiful mama bear, let's go… come on." She smiled, kissing the queen's cheek before they walked out with a few laughs and sad smiles, catching wind of Jax, Chibs, some guy, and two women she remembered seeing around Diosa,

"Nero…?" Gemma whispered, walking faster, she knew the guy, at least and seeing them all together seemed like an off thing, Alyssa keeping her distance once catching up to the group of people. Alyssa knew she really didn't have much say in this matter, it didn't involve her and keeping a distance was better than butting in.

Jax told the guy he was about to head into a neighborhood slaughter, due to protecting the blond chick that was in the group, "How'd they know where she was?" Jax demanded, staring straight into the man's face, he muttered something before everyone's eyes landed on the Hispanic woman, the smug look on her face rubbing Alyssa the wrong way. The Hispanic woman going on about protecting the guy and being worried about having to protect what they had made, but he cut her off, explaining that there wasn't a 'we' in their relationship, Alyssa utterly confused looked up at Gemma, who had been staring daggers at the woman,

"Uh… I'm going to go back… to work, yeah?" Alyssa stated while there was a moment of silence,

"Yeah, go ahead baby." Gemma replied, taking no further push, Alyssa turned and headed back to the office, sitting nervously on the desk, trying hard to focus on the bodies outside. Alyssa stared daggers as the Hispanic woman was guided past the office door and into the garage, from her place on the desk, Alyssa could see she was being kept in there being watched over by Rat.

Getting utterly bored by the battle of daggers with the Hispanic woman named Carla, Alyssa got up and headed out the door, being face-to-face with the boys lifting Opie's casket inside, her heart sinking to her feet once seeing that and Lyla's face, she couldn't move, not for a while, just watching as they all disappeared inside, "God… help me." Alyssa whispered, fighting back the tears as she followed inside, waiting for the time to talk with anyone, confused on what to do and where to go, this was just too confusing and too emotionally damaging, the only comfort she had was being isolated on a stool, she sunk into it, avoiding any eye contact as people filed in with food or flowers.

"Hey, you seen Gemma? I need to ask her something... I'm sorry for bothering but I've seen you working here… and I can't find Jax.." A woman's voice speaking up from where Alyssa sat, she seemed older, possibly a friend of Gemma's, "Ah… I'll go look for you." Alyssa added, nodding to the woman, patting her shoulder before leaving the clubhouse, catching a sudden flash of Tara and Gemma throwing one another into the Office, "Are you kidding me…? Today!?" Alyssa yelled, running as quick as her stomach would allow, swinging the door open.

"What's going on!?" She boomed, the two women not bothering to look Alyssa's way, too busy staring daggers into each other's faces.

"Fine, you want to protect Jax? Wendy isn't the one you should be worried about." Gemma hissed, Tara shaking her head and asking her own questions, "That whore in there… she almost got him killed today." Gemma spat, pointing into the garage,

Alyssa shaking her head, "Is that true Gemma? Is that why she's being watched in there? You could have told me!" Alyssa spat, Tara had been staring at her sister for confirmation before Gemma explained what had happened prior and stormed into the garage, the sisters following hesitantly. Ordering the men who had made themselves comfortable out, Gemma and the two sisters walked closer to the sitting Carla, Rat had orders to close the garage doors before he followed the rest of the men outside.

Carla was quick to get up from her seat once catching sight of Gemma, the two seemed like they had much history because within seconds Gemma and Carla started arguing. Catching only a few words, Alyssa was taken back from the argument, Carla had wanted answers from Gemma and was quick to tell the two sisters that this was none of their business before stepping in too close to Gemma's face, screaming some nonsense.

"G-Gemma!" Alyssa yelled, Gemma had punched Carla straight in the face before anyone had the time to blink,

"Oh… you stupid old whore…!" Carla laughed, throwing her earrings on the floor before attacking Gemma, Alyssa and Tara moving into a confused stance, not knowing what the hell to do in this twisted up situation,

"W-What the fuck!?" Alyssa yelled, it was the only thing she could really do because Tara was always the one to action before she could, grabbing a bar and slamming it down onto Carla's leg, forcing Carla's next attack straight down onto Tara, the two twisting before Carla grabbed Tara's face and slammed Tara's back onto a car, they both tired punching and choking one another, this time without any words, just a bunch of grunts and screaming.

Alyssa jumped into the mix once Carla punched Tara's face, causing Tara to stumble back, "You fucking whore!" Alyssa screeched, running up and punching at the woman's face, getting a good hit to her nose, blood pouring from it before Carla redeemed herself by grabbing Alyssa by her hair and slamming her into the ground, slicing Alyssa's forehead open from the force and digging a long scratch on Alyssa's cheek. Scrambling under the Hispanic woman, Alyssa tired to get her own punches thrown into the mix, missing a few times before she had to resort to pulling on anything her hands made contact with. Carla had the upper hand, punching Alyssa's lip a few times, opening a deep slice on it, before Tara was right behind Carla, pulling her away from her sister,

"Don't you touch by sister!" Tara yelled, slamming Carla on the back of that very same car, pulling hair and screaming, Tara got Carla on the floor and started to use her cast to bash Carla in the face a few times, "T-Tara! Stop, your fucking arm!" Alyssa yelled, stumbling off the ground, trying to pull her sister off, that hand was more important than trying to do some damage to a filthy whore.

"I don't know why you're stopping her. Bitch had sex with Juice too." Gemma added, Alyssa's eyes going wide, staring at the bloody face of Carla and then back to Gemma, who nodding in confirmation to what she had just said. Alyssa grabbed Tara by the arms, throwing her off Carla before either could figure out what was going on, Alyssa's wild eyes staring directly over the woman before Alyssa's boot kicked against the woman's face, the scream Carla replied with was exciting,

"You fucked MY man?!" Alyssa demanded, pinning the woman to the ground as she dropped over her, taking Tara's place by straddling her. Carla had started to laugh a few times before spitting blood directly on Alyssa's face,

"J-Juice..? The one with the tattoos on his head? Yeah, I fucked him, made him moan my name over and over!" Carla barked out, the emotion that ran through Alyssa's body at her words was something utterly murderous, Alyssa could only see red and grabbing the woman by her hair with one hand, Alyssa dropped her other on the whore's face hard, getting in at least five good punches before Gemma pulled Alyssa off this time,

"W-What the fuck!? Let me go!" Alyssa screamed,

"You're bleeding too much!" Gemma countered, forcing Alyssa to shake in confusion before the blood from her own wounds was finally being noticed.

The main reason for seeing red was rage but the blood that poured into an eye, was actually blinding her and the blood that spilled from her busted lip filled her mouth with so much iron Alyssa had to spit multiple times before giving up, the blood wasn't going to stop unless she got something to press against it. Gulping, Alyssa's good eye peeled from Gemma and onto Tara who had long since crawled back on top of Carla, beating her with her cast until they were forced to stop, Nero had come inside and threw the women off of the beaten Carla, yelling at them for being so fucking crazy before pulling Carla up and outside, Gemma running off after him. Alyssa stumbled onto the couch Carla once sat on, huffing out a few times,

"...you okay?" Tara huffed herself once joining her bloody sister, "Do I fucking look okay!?" She snapped.

* * *

After Tara had cleaned both her and her sister up as much as she could, she handed Alyssa a clean towel, "Here. Your forehead will need the towel more than your lip."she pressed, forcing Alyssa's hand to replace her own on the towel, keeping it on her forehead,

"Fuck… I really hate it here.." Alyssa sighed, her lip was starting to swell up, almost matching the size of her clawed cheek,

"Me too… me too." Tara agreed, sighing herself and leaning herself back against the couch, trying hard to cover up the blood on her shirt.

"Better get inside…" Alyssa moaned, lifting her sore body slowly, not wanting to throw up again, she had done so once she swallowed a good amount of her own blood and was just plain over today. Walking away with the one towel still pressed on her forehead, head wounds taking forever to stop bleeding, in the words of her sister and she was done with blood as well, she didn't need anymore on her today.

Of course, however, all eyes were on Alyssa once she had reached the opened door of the clubhouse, her blood covered face and shirt was more than the cause, her hair was no better either, being tangled slightly from the drying blood, "A-Alyssa wha-?" Juice started once he reached her but the moment she saw him, Alyssa felt the rage of just moments before rushing back over her.

Her hand ripped the towel away from her wound and threw it at him, stopping him in his tracks before he was able to reach her, "Y-You fucked that Diosa whore!" Alyssa yelled at him, holding onto the side of a wall, the movement too much for her sickly weak body,

Eyes widening, Juice opened his mouth, at first nothing came out- too shocked from hearing the truth from her mouth,"What? N-No… I-" Juice started,

Alyssa narrowed her eyes, "Don't you fucking lie to me Juice! Gemma told me… just, fuck… not right now Juice." She barked, stepping slowly away from him and into a chair, waving him off, "I'm done Juice, you and me? I don't see this going anywhere. I'm nothing to you clearly, was my mistake for falling for you...thinking I was something more... just.. don't talk to me right now.. or ever." Alyssa sighed to herself, shaking him away as he tried to touch her, be near her,

Brows pulling up, Juice knew he fucked up, "Alyssa, wait. Hold on.." Juice tried once more, his hand grabbing her arm tightly, but with his contact against her skin came a waterfall of pain, the waves of emotion pushed the tears up into her eyes, Alyssa shook her head and pushed him away weakly, seeing no other time to inform him,

"I think I'm pregnant Juice." With her words came daggers, she threw them up at him with a glare, the tears had spilled from her eyes by this time, stinging the cuts on her cheeks as they made their way down,

his face twisting from confusion to fear, "..mine..?" He dared to ask,

Alyssa's eyes closing in defeat, "No, of course not hunny. I've been fucking everyone in this club," She pointed out, dropping her head into her hands.

Swollen lips trying to tighten into a stern line, seeing Juice and this whole day wasn't any good, not being able to take much more of it, Alyssa lifted herself up and slipped into the bathroom, leaving the party of stares and hushed whispers, locking everyone out and away from her while she let the emotions rush over her, break her down completely as the tears spilled more and more. From Opie's death and to finally letting Juice know about what she had been worrying about, everything that had been happening tearing her body apart, Charming broke her down harder than she ever thought possibly.

"Hey… It's time to say goodbye." Bobby's voice creeping from the other end,

"Yeah.. yeah, give me a minute, I'll be there." She replied, whipping away the tears and looking at the damage in the mirror, the bleeding had finally stopped on her lips, droplets on blood shone under the lights of the bathroom from her forehead, both her cheek and lip swollen a few time's their original size. Turning the water to a decent warmth, she washed her face a little, avoiding the cuts, washing carefully away the blood that stained her face and neck, nothing she could do about her shirt, and somehow managed to pull her tangled locks into a decent ponytail, but at least she looked better than before.

Avoiding all eyes, she walked outside and managed to slip behind Gemma, who was completely occupied by a devastated Lyla that was clinging to the queen, they followed the men who lifted Opie's casket, walking him outside.

The men lead to Opie's hearse, gently laying him inside while his loved ones watched from afar, nothing but the slight wind of that night hitting anyone's ears, Alyssa's final tear of the night slipping out as Jax shut the door, her hand slowly coming to her injured lips, blowing a small kiss to her fallen brother, wishing that it didn't have to be this way, that life wasn't this fucking cruel.

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Sorry if this chapter was a little poorly written, I take all the blame! Ha, anyways, hope you still enjoyed the drama._


	9. Chapter 9

**-CHAPTER NINE**

Three long days have passed since Opie's burial, but the very next day after Alyssa had made the trip to the hospital with Tara, getting cleaned and patched up from the fight, luckily enough not needing stitches, but unluckily finding out the truth about being pregnant, Alyssa was in fact with child and any other time, she would have been happy about becoming a mother. However, when things are too messed up for a child, it's hard to get excited about bringing one into this kind of environment. Alyssa had guessed the child was conceived around the time when she and Juice rekindled their relationship, or so she thought it was a relationship, being told she had been about five weeks along.

That whole day after the news was like a blur for Alyssa, _"So… are you going to … take care of it?" Tara asked on the way home, something about the question just didn't sit right with her, the whole subject being raw in the first place. Even with all of the alcohol in Alyssa's system all those weeks ago and the fight with Carla, the baby was strong, healthy and progressing exactly like it should, Alyssa couldn't think of possibly taking that fight away from the tiny thing. The ultrasound blared with the tiny sounds of the baby's heartbeat and sloshing of liquid in her belly, just the sound alone had Alyssa hysterical and seeing the picture of the thing had her heart crushed, having to go through something like this without the father present was hard, she finally understood how Tara felt without Jax. Gripping the picture of the little bean harder with her sister's words,_

_ "I… I don't know…" she managed to speak, every emotion she once felt inside that hospital room was gone, her body felt cold, empty, and just plain heavy, _

_"….Have you talked to him?" Tara asked after a slight pause, _

_Frowning, Alyssa gulped, "No… no… no." she whispered out, feeling the pain of guilt and betrayal filling her chest for a split second, "He doesn't need to be bothered with this… with us.. me.." she added before turning to the window, covering her face, the tears coming back, pushing her over the edge once more, crying silently, nothing about this was fun, reality and growing up wasn't fun, being an mother was already the hardest part of her life_.

* * *

Waking up and staring at the ceiling, the usual ritual with each passing day, Alyssa stopped answering her cell and house phone, stopped going to work, even refused to answer the door when other's came over, she wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything that had any ties with Juice. He was the very last person Alyssa wanted to see, Juice would do nothing but make this whole ordeal worse, she knew she would have to face him one of these days, it was his kid after all, but today, like yesterday and the day before, she didn't want to be bothered by him and his emotional backstabbing.

Although, Juice on the other hand thought differently, he was the exact reason Alyssa stopped answering the phones and eventually the door, Juice came over every day since Opie's burial, he wanted answers and explanations, something the two of them both needed to provide, but also he wanted to give apologies, even his help, Juice was an idiot but he was caring and he just fucking missed her. Juice had not been happy being away from Alyssa, felt even worse when he didn't see her at work, he knew it was all thanks to him and it was just fucking with his already weak state of mind. That girl did something to him he never knew was possible.

"Alyssa!" Juice's voice echoed slightly into her room, he was bagging at the door again, the third time today but this time he wasn't alone. Juice was with a few others by the sounds of the ruckus they were causing. Each taking a different path on each side of her home, banging on the back door or at a few windows until moving to her bedroom window, bagging on that as well,

"Alyssa!" Jax's voice spilled into her room this time, the anger in his voice shaking her to the very core, gulping she forced her legs to move, slowly lifting from the bed and to the window, pulling back the dark blinds, Jax's glare caught her eyes first, then Chibs and Juice's worried faces peered back at her from the other side,

"…Jesus…. What do you guys want?" She asked, almost sobbed, her eyes dropping instantly from their gazes,

"Open the door, now." Jax's voice broadcasting his true emotions and the way his face twisted from worry to pissed off was frightening, she nodded, leaving the window and heading to the backdoor.

Jax pushed past her, shoving into her shoulder as he did so, forcing her to stumble back slightly as the others followed, Jax wasn't the kindest man when he was pissed, didn't care who you were, "Why haven't you answered your phone? The door? Where have you been?!" Jax demanded, turning to face her wrecked body, she wasn't eating much in the past few weeks, even prior to the events of late, being sick and then stressed over and over slimmed her body more than it should, "What have you been doing..? You look-" He added his tone slightly gentler, she must have looked terrible to achieve much pity.

"I've been here… just here…staying put." Alyssa cracked out, keeping her eyes on the floor, emotion has been absent from her body for awhile and it was spilling back over hard on the woman,

"We thought you were kidnapped or worse!" Juice wailed, stepping slightly toward her,

the sudden movement forcing her to flinch and stumble away from him, "D-Don't!" She snapped, stepping back more once hearing the sound that came from her body, the look Juice gave her hurt more than most things she had felt. The look of pain and confusion, he wasn't sleeping very well, the bags under his swollen red stained eyes was a clear sign, a few tears escaping the moment he blinked,

Juice's eyes always gave away his true feelings, "…why are you doing this…?" He begged, looking away from her,

"look, we just came to see if you were still alive, Tara is worried sick and so is everyone else, especially Juice… Just talk to him, please, just talk to him." Jax pleaded,

"No I-" Alyssa started but was silenced by Jax's chest, he forced her into a quick hug, shutting her up before staring her down, releasing the defeated woman and walking out the front door, Chibs nodding and pulling her into a hug for himself as well, following Jax's lead and left the two alone.

"I just want to talk… to explain myself.." Juice spoke up after everyone was long gone, sitting down on the couch where they had spent a few nights and less days, this thought silencing him, Juice didn't think he'd ever be inside here again.

"For what? …You just needed to get your dick wet, you were away from home, it wasn't against the rules, right?...I understand.…" Alyssa countered, shaking her head a few times, trying her hardest to gulp down her emotions, "Just leave Juice, I don't want to talk to you, to even look at you." Her voice betrayed her words, cracking with the tears that started to swell in her eyes, she sniffed once, whipping them away before ripping her eyes away from him and turning away, ready to just get back to bed.

"Are you going to kill our baby?" his words spilling into her ears, halting her body,

"It's not your…this isn't your problem…" she whispered, refusing to look at him, wishing he would just go away like she asked.

"Like hell it's not! It's- this is my baby too Alyssa!" His voice louder,

sending waves of sickening pain into her heart, "I… I can't do this right now..." She added, wrapping her arms around her body, "I don't...I don't want to be a mother… fuck Juice.. I can't do this!" She yelled, body trembling while she fought back the sobs. "I was… I was drunk during most of this kid's life a-and…. And it's still alive… fighting, trying to live.. it wants to live!" her fight broke in a matter of words, knees buckling her heavy body to the floor, collapsing into herself while the sobs came and went, over and over. "…I can't kill it.. I can't kill this child… but…I c-can't be the mother… not me… alone.. scared, I don't want to go through with this…" she kept spilling, trying to wipe all the tears away while she did so, not noticing his feet that had rushed to her side in seconds.

Pulling her into a tight hug, Juice held tightly onto Alyssa while she fought to free herself, she didn't want him touching her, but Juice fought against it, he refused to let her go. Tightening his lips while she punched and hit his chest multiple times,

"I-I loved...I loved you dammit!" Alyssa wailed, hitting him harder until her fists started to hurt, but fighting against his strength and letting out such emotion took a lot out on her, not being able to do much more than to continue sobbing uncontrollably into his chest, gripping his leather cut hard, Alyssa melted into Juice. Allowing him hold her like he used to in bed, tangled tightly together.

Both Juice and Alyssa cried while they stayed in their huddled position on the ground, Alyssa cried to the point of no tears, the point of just sitting in despair, not being able to move or speak, just silence for awhile. Staring at the reaper tattoo that laid on Juice's forearm, Alyssa's lips tightened, this tattoo, just like this lifestyle, was permanent now, something they both chose and that would just have to be their own mistake, she was stuck in this life now, forever. As long as she had a piece of a member inside of her, there was no backing out.

"I'm keeping this kid, if you like it or not." Alyssa sighed into Juice's chest, his own head laid against her shoulder, getting lost in the familiar smell of her skin he loved, Juice couldn't help but to kissed it a few times before Alyssa shook him off, he was pushing it to far for her.

"Okay… I'll help you, be there for you.. it's my kid too, I need to be there." He whispered, trying not to let her rejection hurt him too much. Moving away from her shoulder, Juice started down into those big doe eyes of hers, he missed seeing those big eyes filled with the joy he used to provide, devastated that it was his fault they looked so dull, lifeless. Alyssa peered up at him for a moment, feeling his gaze, she couldn't look him in the eyes for too long, seeing him so close was equally as painful as being in his arms, but she couldn't deny that she missed being in them, having him all for herself.

She gulped. "do you want to see? Uh...um, The ultrasound I mean… I got it a few days go." Alyssa asked, moving a hand from his chest to his cheek, hesitantly touching it. His warmth burning against her cool hand, it hasn't been that long, three days but when you spent everyday with someone you enjoyed so much, days felt like years, lonely. Gulping once more, she took the chance to study his features, the features that used to be so close and dear to her heart, now they just hurt, hurt her so badly. Feeling this she instantly dropped her hand from his face and pushed herself out of his arms,

"It's in my room… framed… you can come with."

Juice walked with Alyssa, keeping her close to him, he just missed being near her so bad. "You...okay?" she asked after entering, Juice stayed by the door frame,

"uh, yeah.. sorry 'bout that." he murmured, scratching the back of his head before coming inside, it had been awhile since he was in there and wasn't too sure how to act, he really didn't think he'd get the chance to again.

Sitting himself on the bed, Juice took the time to look around the room like he'd never seen it before, more than happy to see it was still how he remembered, how little she organized her books on the dresser or how she always kept a glass of water on the nightstand, not that he could forget how Alyssa always woke up with a dry mouth, he had gotten a lot of glasses for the damn girl. He smiled to himself, he remembered a lot about her. "Here." Alyssa spoke, pushing the frame from her nightstand into his folded hands, nodding confirmation at him, it was okay for him to take it. Alyssa stood in front of him awkwardly as he looked over the picture, his silence making her horribly nervous,

"Um… don't be mad… but what am I looking at?"Juice finally confessed, scratching the back of his head when looking up at her. His eyes illuminating devastation, this putting the first smile on her face in a while, he was really upset about not understanding the picture.

"Don't worry, the baby was too small to see, so it'll be hard to find, uh.. look in that black area right here." Alyssa pointed out, moving next to Juice's side on the bed, finger pressing onto a certain area on the picture, "The baby's in this spot, riiiiight here." She added. Her finger moving in tiny circles around an equally tiny spec, Juice was almost hesitant to look back at the photo, those big eyes of her's filled with so much wonder as she stared, bringing a small smile on his cheeks. Eyes falling back to the photo, his smile widened, even though it was small and hardly visible, the fact that there was something alive and growing inside of her dirty body was amazing to both of them.

"So… this is really happening?" Juice spoke up after a while of staring at the picture in silence, both lost for words as they bathed in the child's image, "I'm going to be a dad.." His shaky voice forced Alyssa's to peel away from the picture and on him, catching a few tears stream down his cheeks before he whipped them away and faced her. "I'm sorry…" Juice started, placing the picture down beside him on the bed before grabbing both of her hands, covering them completely with his large ones with a tight squeeze, slowly and hesitantly pulling them up to his lips.

"…What are you doing..?" Alyssa sighed, she didn't feel very comfortable with him touching her like this, so intimate. This intimacy was pushing her away, with all that had happened she still didn't know how to act around him, how could he just act like nothing happened? Sure it was nice to show him the child's picture and she loved the moment they shared but what Juice did still lingered in her mind, it was still hovering over her, all she could picture was his lips pressed against another woman's, his dick inside someone else. He never said it, never gave her the title but Alyssa felt like his Old Lady, they spent so much time together, so much sex and words of affection, she kind of just thought she was his, but reality didn't work that way.

"I love you." He confessed, snapping her away from her thoughts, he started to move her hands up to his forehead, breaking into a few sobs behind them.

Alyssa bit her bottom lip, brows pulling up. "No… no you don't. You're just… You're just blinded by the kid, this moment, and probably sleep deprived, You don't know what you're thinking." She pointed out trying to pull her hands away, a fake declaration was worse than him saying nothing at all, she could live with no words.

"No." He countered, pulling her into another tight embrace like before, "No… I love you… I think I have for a while now…I can't..." He paused, pressing his head into her neck. "I can't stop thinking about you... fuck! My mind is on you all day and night, what I did? I let it happen.. I'm not used to this love thing, these kinds of feelings Alyssa. Shit, I've been panicking about these feelings for so long, I didn't know what to do… I think I went with that woman to see if what I felt was real, what I was feeling for you was real.." He confessed, the grip around her tightening with every word.

Tears damping her face again, Juice sucked so fucking much. "Juice.. please… It's too late, you already did what you did… Found out a little too late and by the worst kind of way... how am I supposed to just accept that?" She sobbed, pushing against him, to her surprise he released her without much fight this time. A few tears shed between the couple all over again, Juice's eyes were back on the picture, staring at it with such pain,

"I just… I want to be there for you and the kid… do what my father didn't… be the family I never got to have." His words punching her in the chest, they wanted the same thing, have the stable family they both never had growing up, both were not given the chance at such happy times. Hesitating a few times, Alyssa moved in herself, pushing her soaked face into his arm, how can this idiot make her so messed up inside? Love is complicated, will always be.

"Yeah… me too… I just… I can't forgive you.. I can't Juice…" Alyssa scolded, biting her bottom lip before continuing, "I want… I want the same thing, a stable home for this kid, a family.. and.. I know you'll be a great daddy…It's just... this will have to be a process.." She added, smiling into his shirt with a few small nods of her head. Juice would be a great father, he was such a lover she knew that much and maybe after a few years, things could be different, things could maybe be different, time could only tell.

"I'm supposed to go to the hospital soon, uhh in two weeks I think… I haven't been eating much and I'm scared it's going to hurt this kid.. I need to make sure it's okay… see if they can give me something… you can come, if you want. I'm sure I'll get another ultrasound…" Alyssa informed pulling away from him and whipping her face hard,

"Yeah, yeah… I'll do that. Thank you." He smiled through his own sadness, picking himself up and handing her the picture, "I have to go.. Jax gave me an hour to try to talk with you before church. I'll come back.. please let me in, okay?" Juice pushed, staring at her hard, serious about his words and with a very hesitant agreement from the woman, he was off again, leaving a slightly relieved and very exhausted Alyssa.

* * *

The next morning, after Juice had left to go help Clay and Alyssa had read over the newspaper, learning how the home invasions started to increase, going as far to attack the Sheriff's wife, she finally decided to call her sister, try and suck up for an apology. "My god Alyssa! How…. How are you doing?" Tara's surprised voice spilling into Alyssa's ears, guilt, happiness, and sadness mixed all at once,

"I'm… I'm okay.. I think.." Alyssa spilled herself, holding the phone close to her head, wishing to tell her sister everything and nothing all at once, "I'm sorry… for not calling… I just.. this pregnancy and all the shit with Juice… I needed time…" She apologized right off the bat,

"I know… I mean, I was scared when I was pregnant with Thomas… but you have it kind of differently and I know how you get when you're afraid… I understand… it's okay." Tara replied quickly, "I heard from Jax…. You're skinnier… have you been eating at all?" she added before giving her sister time to speak,

"ahh… no.. not really, a few crackers… but Juice made me eat some bread this morning." Alyssa sighed, leaning back against her bed's headboard.

"Good… so you two are okay..?" Tara asked, "Hmmm… I wouldn't say okay, really. He's excited to be a dad is all that matters to me right now." A faint smile creeping onto her face, it was good to talk to her sister.

"I'm feeding Thomas right now and Gemma's here… she wants to talk to you." Tara noted, a small hum in agreement and the voice changed on the other line,

"Hey baby." Gemma spoke,

"Hey.." Alyssa replied slowly, another pang of guilt hitting her chest.

"Glad you finally started to seek us out. Was getting real worried there, especially with the break-ins and all." Gemma scolded and with that the three women talked back and forth about how the they were handling things and catching up rather quickly, Alyssa promising to come around very soon and visit with everyone, especially Able, who was missing his aunt very much, at one point even took the phone to talk with her, very mad that she hadn't come around to see him sooner. Few hours had passed while on the phone, most of the sadness and guilt that had been added to her body over the past few days lifted with just a simple talk, this told her that things, even though bad, could still turn out good, all she needed was time. It seemed like only minutes had passed when her phone rang again, Juice this time, the one person who she started to let back in first, she needed his company more than the others.

"You okay?" he added after she had greeted,

"Yeah, why? What's wrong?"

The sound of his voice was a bit off, "Roosevelt's wife… she didn't make it…"He stressed, a sigh spilling after he had spoken,

"Oh god…Juice…" Alyssa cried, not really sure what to say but still horrified that another death had struck Charming.

"You call me if you hear anything… anything Alyssa, do you hear me?" He demanded, his voice a bit shaken, he was afraid for his own family, Juice wasn't about to let anything take them away from him, not when he just got the mother back.

"Yeah, I promise." She nodded to herself, promising him a few more times before he too was off the line, leaving her beyond nervous, good thing she had her own gun, hidden but accessible behind the headboard.

"I'll be home late… want me to pick you up something?" Juice's asked over the other end,

"Ugh… no, food sounds gross." Alyssa whined, pulling the covers over her body and up to her chin, looking over the paused image on the living room TV,

"You have to eat. I'll pick something up." Juice ignored,

Rolling her eyes, "Finneee… so.. why are you coming home late, anything I should know?" Alyssa sighed, rubbing her temple through the blanket.

"Not sure just yet, about to head into church. I'll see you later… eat some bread or something, I'll have food when I come home." He pushed, hanging up the phone, with a groan she did was she was told, got up and toasted a few pieces of bread, grabbing some honey and continuing with the movie she had paused.

About thirty minutes later, Tara called, "Hey, can I ask a huge favor Aunty?" Tara pleaded in a slight babied tone,

Alyssa's eyes rolling in response, "what the hell do you want?" she laughed out.

"Our baby sitter canceled... Jax wants Gemma to watch the boys and I'm really nervous about that… you know with how she's been acting and all... Do you think you can head over there and help supervise? I'd feel a lot better knowing you're there." Pleading horribly, Alyssa agreed, telling her sister she'd be over at Gemma's in an hour or so, texting Juice to cancel his dinner delivery, Gemma would force her to eat, if she liked it or not.

Continuing her movie after Juice's reply and another text to Gemma, letting her know that she needed some boy time and would be over soon. Alyssa set an alarm the moment she felt herself dozing off, she really wanted to visit her nephews today and a quick nap would make that time come faster. Waking up before her set alarm, Alyssa brushed off getting ready, she was pregnant and just tired, Gemma wouldn't mind her showing up in pajamas, especially when she was coming to hang out with the kids.

Though, once reaching Gemma's house, Alyssa felt off, the van wasn't there and no lights were on, maybe she was a bit early but then again, Gemma never took that long to get home unless something bad had happened and with a few checks of her phone Alyssa's knot in her gut only tightened, something was defiantly off tonight. "No Gemma left a while ago." Juice confessed a bit surprised, "I watched her leave." He added before Alyssa thanked him and paced at the front door.

"Fuck this…" Alyssa whispered, jumping in the car and down the road, she felt like calling the police but that was usually a last resort.

The dark roads eased her soul, no lights meant nothing was wrong but once she had turned the corner, just a few streets before Gemma's house, Alyssa's heart dropped with the sight of the red and blue lights. Jumping from the truck, Alyssa ran only to be stopped by a police officer,

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to go back in your vehicle." He stated politely, keeping her away from the incident,

"What's going on?" She gasped out, watching a few men rush into the woods, being covered by the planets.

"We cannot say, I'm sorry." He added, pushing her back some more,  
"Wait please! Were there children!? Two boys?! An older lady..?!" Alyssa's panic forcing the questions out once getting further and further away, the officer stopping, staring at her skeptically.

"Are these children blonde?" The officer demanded, the look on his face only being covered by the sudden rush of tears,

"Y-Yes…! The woman… she... she has dark hair, uhh umm.. blond highlights. Drives a tan colored van… I-I don't know the plate number.." She confessed, nodding a few times,

"Alright ma'am… I'll have to ask a few questions. I'm sorry but there's been an accident." He spoke, two large hands gripping onto her shoulders, the sound from her voice echoing in the darkness.

"A-Able!" Alyssa wailed, the boy's stiff body being hauled into the ambulance, answering a few questions before breaking down at the sight of the baby,

"Please ma'am, we need you to reach the mother or father." Another officer pressing, helping Alyssa down on the side of the road, hiding her from the horrible view,

"O-Okay.." She sobbed, dialing Tara but with no luck, same with Jax, they were both off due to their time away, leaving a quick and panicked voicemail, "S-Shit…" She spat, teeth digging into her bottom lip, dialing the next person she could,

"B-Ba…..by.." She sobbed once hearing his voice and the panic in her voice only pushing his own,

"W-What?! Alyssa, what!?" He demanded, "G-Gemma… Able..!" She wailed, handing the phone to the officer, she was too gone to talk.

"Hello, are you the father of Able or Thomas Teller?" he asked, a moment of silence before continuing, "I'm sorry to say this but, there's been an accident. The grandmother crashed and both boys were in the vehicle. Their aunt confirmed the faces of all three." Hanging up and handing her the phone just moments later,

"He's going to try to reach their parents. Please, just sit down and breathe." The officer added before leaving her in the watchful eyes of a medic, ready to jump if any shock were to take over the woman's body.

* * *

"God… you're a fucking idiot… you almost killed those babies!" Alyssa spat once entering Gemma's hospital room, Able was being taken away for immediate attention and Tara had called back in her own panic, letting Alyssa know she'd be there as soon as she could. "You… you…you deserve everything that will come to you Gemma…" Alyssa added into the woman's ear before the tears started to come back.

Stomping out and into the waiting room, she just couldn't stand to look at Gemma, even though she wasn't conscious, she felt no remorse for the woman, "W-Where are they?!" Tara yelled once catching a glimpse of her sister,

"I don't.. I don't know, they took him back somewhere." Alyssa stuttered, looking over both faces of the panicked parents, Tara quick on her feet, asking for locations,

"What happened?" Jax demanded, getting into his sister-in-law's face, pure anger flaming in his blue eyes.

"Don't! Don't you dare blame me Jackson…. That.. this was all her… your mother!" Alyssa spat, glaring back at him just as badly as he had at her, "I was there to watch over them… I was at her house in no time! I was the one who called you BOTH! I was the one who saw the damage… saw that baby being…-" with a loud sob, she sunk back into her seat, wailing into her hands, the events flashing back and forth rapidly, "…it was her Jax… all Gemma's fault...s-she almost killed them..." she added before Tara found the location of her son and pulled Jax away, Jax flashing a small apology in his eyes before disappearing behind the hospital doors.

Within the hour after Jax and Tara showed up that Bobby, Trager, and Chibs followed, finding the deflated Alyssa in the waiting room, exchanging questions and sorrys before they all falling silent, waiting on any news, which did come and only broke Alyssa further, "Aye' lass… you need to calm down." Chibs consulted, rubbing her back a few times.

"Yeah… they have all types of medication for irregular heartbeats.. he'll be fine." Bobby added, sighing to himself before Trager added,

"Yeah. He's a fighter, remember?" with a small laugh, Alyssa nodded, whipping her face a few times,

"Plus.. all that stress with hurt your little one." Bobby added once more, throwing her a small smile. Alyssa nodding in response because they all knew Bobby was right, stressing a newly pregnant woman wasn't the smartest idea.

Trager and Bobby lifting off their seat once Juice and a few other familiar faces came barging in, Bobby filling everyone in before more questions started spilling out. Juice had slipped away from the conversing group once catching sight of Alyssa, kneeling in front of her. "You okay?" he asked hesitantly, he knew the answer but still needed to know, with a small sniff and a nod, he got his answer, she was beyond okay. Pulling her close and kissing her forehead.

"I know this is selfish… and I hate the fact that I need to say it but… I'm really glad you didn't ask Gemma for a ride.." Juice whispered into her head, squeezing her tightly, Alyssa let out a small sob before nodding again, clinging to him in return.

Alyssa kept to herself, stayed in her own mind, not caring for what the guys were saying unless it was about Able, not until Juice offered to do something, she looked after him lost, "W-Wa-" being cut off by the sudden visit from Roosevelt, demanding if one of the nomads was his wife's killer and talking randomly to Clay before setting his sights on Juice, "No hold on." Alyssa began, standing up from her seat, Juice had done nothing but be near her most of the time, there was no reason for Juice to be interrogated at a time like this, Roosevelt ignored her, of course, and demanded Juice to follow him.

Gulping, Juice darted nervous looks between to both Alyssa and Clay before following.

"Go ahead." Clay spoke, nodding for her to follow after the two men, she darted quickly behind,

stopping herself when she heard Juice's whispering, "Who do you think I am dude? …. I don't know shit man." Both men staring at one another before looking Alyssa's way, she had quickly hid behind the corner once a few nurses walked out, she knew their noise would catch their attention,

"You seem a little nervous… I bet you Clay's really curious about our little conversation right here." Roosevelt added, staring daggers into Juice's features, the nervous way Juice moved and the gulp he took before the sheriff continued hurt Alyssa, she moved back behind the corner, pressing her bad firmly against it, she wasn't supposed to be hearing this but the moment Juice's voice lowered and words that spilled from his throat forced her to turn back to the man.

"..You're going to get me killed… I have a family to protect.." Juice begged, the sheriff just scoffed,

"Then your Old Lady will know how I feel, won't she?" Roosevelt added his own threat and walked off, leaving Juice standing alone and looking to the floor.

"You're going to get killed?" Alyssa wailed, the moment Roosevelt left, she walked out and into the open, tears running down her face,

"Shhit..!" Juice snapped once her voice startled him. Tightening his lips and quickly closing their space, Juice grabbed her face with both hands, staring straight into her eyes, "You promise me that everything you heard stays between us… Clay.. . Jax… everyone, they can't know about any of this." He begged, kissing her quickly before pulling her into a tight embrace, "I'm not going anywhere… not leaving you or our baby."

He barked. Alyssa slithered her hands against his toned frame, gripping onto him hard, "Just…take us home….baby.."


	10. Chapter 10

**-CHAPTER TEN**

Watching Juice work with some papers, Alyssa felt a smile creep on her face, he was always so damn goofy and seeing him work, with his face calm, was amazing. Without the constant worry of him getting killed, was nice, almost normal. Alyssa didn't mind the fact that he wasn't able to take her home, she just wanted to be with him and if that was at the clubhouse, then she would just have to take it, she liked the apartment, spent many nights with him here, so it was slightly peaceful. Lifting off the bed and hovering over him from behind the chair, "What's this about again..?" She murmured, pressing her forehead onto the back of his neck, Juice humming to himself before replying.

"Something for Eli, that cop." He laughed, a fake one. Alyssa could tell, she has heard enough real ones to know, Juice was still bothered by what the cop said and so was she. Alyssa didn't have much of a reason to get near or touch him before but his laugh gave her reason enough for her next movements. Slithering her arms around Juice, she sighed, moving her head into the crook of his neck, embracing him tightly. Trying to reassure that even though she was mad, she'd still be there for him, whenever.

"..I miss you.." He cracked. Moving a hand to clamp down on one of her arms that wrapped around his chest, gripping hard on it. This had been the first attempt at any contact from Alyssa, being so grossed out by the things he had done, she wanted nothing to do with him, she was neglecting him the affection he needed. Besides a few emotional slip ups today and the day before, Alyssa made sure to remind Juice to keep his distance, not to touch her or kiss her, which he did but it was difficult. Juice never thought the touch of just one woman could change how he felt forever. All he wanted was to take her right here and now to prove just how much he loved Alyssa but he also understood that this was punishment for the things he did, he couldn't push her to do something she didn't want, she was laying down the rules and he was taking it, Juice was pussy whipped.

So the touch Alyssa gave him, without him making the move first, was the first touch from her in a while, he missed how just their contact made him feel, how alive Alyssa made him. A little too late, Juice started to truly understand how much love he felt for this woman, if only he woke up before Carla.

A knock to the door surprised them both, Alyssa shook herself out of her thoughts, quickly releasing Juice from her embrace before he protest. Clay waved once the attention was on him, walking slowly into the room. She gulped."Can we get a beer?" he asked. A large hand touching against her shoulder as he neared the two, one of her hands that once left Juice automatically found him again, gripping onto his leather. Juice made her feel safe many times before and it was a habit to cling to him when upset. Clay made her angry and nervous, Juice new that and tried to keep it to himself, he didn't want Clay to try to hurt Alyssa like he did Tara but he knew a sign when he saw one. Clay wanted to talk and now.

"Ahh… I'd love one actually, mind?" Juice murmured nervously, a slight hint to take a hick and leave them alone for a few minutes,

"Okay… I'll be back then." Alyssa nodded, looking over Juice once more before leaving the men. They only got a few minutes, Alyssa didn't want to leave Clay with Juice longer than she was comfortable with. Walking slowly back into the main room, Alyssa looked over a few pictures that spotted the hallway's walls, some pictures going as far back to the first nine but one caught her full attention, like always, the one with the two sisters in it. Tara and Alyssa, both faces bright with smiles.

Tara took her spot behind Jax on his new bike, '_He was so happy with it_.' Alyssa thought, laughing a little, tracing over her own face, she stood next to Opie and Chibs, throwing up a middle finger. The happiness from back then took away her current smile, dropping her arm back to her side.

"If only you knew what was waiting when you came back to Charming..." she sighed.

Sliding behind the bar, she took out two chilled beers, popping off both caps and looking around for some napkins to wipe off the excess water, doing so slowly to kill time the best way she could. Alyssa's leg shook under her, looking up at the clock every few seconds before heading back, both beers in each hand, taking her sweet time to come back to the damn room, she knew she was probably gone for five minutes.

Stopping just a few inches away from the door of the apartment, she listened in on the two men, something she just couldn't get enough of today.

"…Otto flipped….gave them past crimes…Eli threatened me, the feds…. The feds want the Irish and the cartel, he said that if I gave them some evidence that he would spare the club…" Juice confessed, his voice shaken to the core, breathing out a few words before spilling out the last sentence.

"…Jesus Christ." Clay murmured, "What did you do?" he demanded after a short pause, Juice huffing out slightly before continuing, "I stole that brick of coke…. Miles caught me doing it, I panicked…. We fought, he came at me with a knife.." by the way he was breathing heavier and more shaken Alyssa could tell Juice was crying by the end of his confession.

She didn't noticing that her own eyes were filling with liquid until a drop landed on one of her hands. The guy she fell for was doing more damage to himself than she originally thought, if anyone else knew about this Juice would be dead by tonight. Whipping her face quickly, not wanting to think about the consequences and taking the silence between the men as the conversation's end, she took a few steps before Clay continued to speak stopped her. Listening in was the only way to get the truth and interrupting now would ruin that, so she stepped back, gulping a bit.

"The RICO case went away?" Clay asked, "I guess they couldn't make it.. the fed." Juice confessed taking a deep breath, "They cut me loose… I'm not sure about Otto."

And with another short silence, Clay took a deep breath this time before he spoke up once more, "I sent the Nomads to the trailer… Unser took down Gogo… I killed Greg." Clay's confession taking both Juice and Alyssa back, Clay could only see Juice but Alyssa was there, taking in all the information, trying to piece it together. Clay was the reason for everything that's been going on, being in charge of the Nomads, the home invasions, the reason why Eli's wife was killed in the last attack, Clay was the reason for everything wrong lately, Clay would be the reason for Eli's ratting on Juice and Clay would be the reason Alyssa felt so much hate.

"What happens now..?" Juice's voice broke her thoughts,

"well… you take this bullshit intel to the sheriff, and I catch up on some paper work." With last remark from Clay Alyssa heard movement,

not wanting to get caught with what she was doing, which obviously was wrong, she quickly turned around moving through the hallway as quietly as she could. Hearing their voice again she sighed in relief, 'these guys are going to kill me..' She thought, walking back to the room, standing by the door frame. Alyssa eyed both men, waiting for them to finish up before slipping back into the room, handing Clay a beer, forcing the sweetest smile she could conjure up.

"Thanks." Clay nodded, moving past her and out the room chugging the beer. Alyssa's eyes hit Juice's face, he tried his hardest not to look up at her, the look of guilt, she had seen that a few times before the meaning of it clicked.

"Here." She huffed. Breaking the silence and handing him his beer,

"..yeah." he replied in a whisper, taking it and setting the bottle aside. "Alyssa, I-" he started, keeping his eyes on the stack of papers on his desk, moving his fingers around the edges.

"No, no. I don't need to hear anything right now. Still shaken up by the accident." She confessed, really, if she heard the words mixed up with lies, she didn't know how well she'd cope with more betrayal. Plus the fact of knowing how close to death Juice actually was, was killing her inside, Juice promised that this family would try to make it work. How can it work if the father was dead? Shaking her head, Alyssa moved in front of Juice, one of her fingers slightly grazing his cheek when her hand hovered of it, catching his attention.

The look on his face was heartbreaking, "..stop crying... okay?" she frowned. A finger whipping the wetness under his lids, their eyes never leaving one another's. Lips tightening, she moved to straddle him on the chair, Juice's hands gripped at the curve of her hips as she rested her arms against his shoulders, caressing the top of his head with her hands, the feel of his shorten Mohawk tickling her fingers.

"You mean so much to me, you know that?" Alyssa cried, burying her face into his neck, whenever she thought of him disappearing forever, the mistakes he's ever made left her mind, she was free to love him like before.

"..I... I love you..." Juice sobbed. The tight grip on her hips vanished being replaced by his tight embrace around her whole upper body, his arms wrapped around her just right, she fit against his body like she was made from him. Which she was, Alyssa was made for him, he felt it, he knew it. Alyssa was his everything and she was giving him even more than he could have asked for, feelings that he hasn't felt before and a child he'd love unconditionally. "I love you." He repeated, kissing the side of her head a few times. The smell of her engulfing his nose, the mixture of her soap and shampoo filling both nostrils, the smell that drove him crazy, the smell that laid on her and only her body. Gulping, Juice leaned back against the chair, letting his arms slump down to her thighs,

"What's wrong?" Alyssa asked. Moving her face from his neck, "I miss you.." Juice replied. His eyes closed, "I'm right here, silly." She smiled slightly, confused at his words.

"I mean... fuck.." his voice lowering a few notches, moving his hands away from her thighs and up to the back of his neck, rubbing against it with some force, dropping his gaze from her. She frowned. "..what is it?" She asked worried, did she do something wrong? Was she pushing this too far now? Over-thinking instantly, Alyssa began to lift herself off him.

"No! ...wait, just wait." He snapped. Grabbing her shoulders, forcing her back down, staring back into her eyes this time, "Listen Alyssa... I miss you.. being inside you, having sex with you... just you!" He pleaded.

Eyes going wide for a moment, taking in what Juice had just spilled, "..Juice.." Alyssa cautioned. His eyes instantly dropping with his head, deflating like a balloon right in front of her. "I need you.." he cried, pulling her hands into his own, tangling his fingers with hers. She bit her lip, hard. Unsure whether or not taking this step with him again was a smart move. "go... go slow." she hinted worriedly.

Juice's head shot up with her words, looking over her features, he could tell she was very hesitant, not completely okay with being intimate with him, he knew the drill, he understood she was trying but it still surprised him. "Y-You sure?" He insisted. With the slight nod of her head, Juice moved his hands away from hers, replacing them on the sides of her face. Slowly closing the space between their bodies, trapping her plump lips within his, he'd gotten a taste of her lips back at the hospital and couldn't stop thinking about it, couldn't stop thinking about her over and over. God, he needed her, needed this with her. Breathing in slowly, Alyssa felt like melting, his lips were always a deal breaker for her, she loved his lips and they way they fit with hers.

Alyssa's arms moved up to Juice's neck, wrapping around it slightly while his arms gripped at the back of her shirt, pulling her closer into his body as he leaned back on the chair. The couple's kiss quickly intensified, they hadn't been intimate in so long, it was starting to show with their desperation, the clumsiness. Bumping heads and teeth meant nothing to Juice once Alyssa's laugh filled his ears, that laugh. Her laughing was what started the burning in his soul for her, he knew once he made that woman laugh, he was a goner.

"I love you." He repeated again, pushing his nose against hers. The moment he knew, actually knew he loved Alyssa, Juice felt like saying it was never going to be enough, he'd have to keep going, keep telling her every chance he got. She giggled in response, one of those giggles that could make any man's heart melt. He did that, he made her smile and laugh, he did it, not someone else. Juice was doing something right for once in a long time and he'd be damned if he'd let any other man try to do this with her. He was going to make sure she was his all over again.

Just thinking another man would touch what was his made Juice angry, he'd probably kill for this woman. "..sorry.." he whispered. This is what she felt, the pain he gave her, how could he let that other woman touch him, pull him into something so problematic? He was just fucking dumb, that's how. Pulling the woman back to him, he kissed her repeatedly, trying to prove how much he wanted her and no one else, not ever again. Swiping his tongue against her bottom lip, he ached for her taste, to deepen their kiss. Hesitating for a moment, Alyssa gave in, she couldn't keep the thoughts of him being with someone else out of her mind but the fact Juice was here with her and not with Carla was kind of enjoyable. It meant he wanted to be with her, was trying to stay with her and make up for the mistakes. Opening her mouth, she met her tongue with his, slow at first, gentle but the kiss quickly intensified. Tongue massaging and pushing against one another, the two hardly broke for air and was attached again in no time, the heat between the two growing hotter by the second. Thinking about how Carla could have touched Juice fueled her further, it wasn't pushing her away, it was pushing her forward, made her want to prove that this man was her's and no one else's, Alyssa's. Slipping her hands between their lower halves, rubbing against the bugle of his pants, his dick was her's too and she was going to make sure it would never want anyone else.

Juice's head threw back, letting out a loud moan, Alyssa's hand was pumping against his dick fast, not only did she want him to moan her name but she wanted him to feel like he'd never felt before. Sucking hard against the flesh of his neck, she'd left a mark from the first bite and wanted it to stay for all to see, she was marking what was her's this time. Her free hand slithered up his shirt, assaulting his abs for a moment before caressing his chest, rubbing one of his nipples with her thumb, she knew how much that got him going. Which it did, with all of his pleasure points being hit all at once, Juice's voice was all over the place and the grip against the back of her head tightened, the feeling that engulfed his body was completely euphoric, pulling him closer to exploding in her hand.

"F-Fuck, Alyssa!" He grunted, pulling her mouth away from his neck and back to his lips, the couple biting and moaning onto each other's lips. A few more quick strokes from her hand and a hard tug at his bottom lip from her pushed him over the edge. Grunting out loudly, Juice's hips buckled as he came, stilling while he spilled out the rest, slightly coating Alyssa's hand.

"Feel good?" she mewled with a smile, feeling him pulsated within her hand. Looking down at her, hardly able to keep his eyes open he laughed weakly, the lopsided smile she came to love so greatly appearing while he nodded,

"..amazing." he gasped out. She smiled more, pecking at his lips, she moved to get up but he stopped her, kept her put. "No, it's your turn." he teased, smirking slightly.

* * *

"...J-Juice!" Alyssa whimpered, her hand moving out and knocking a few things over on the desk, she was trying to get a grip on something, anything through the pleasure. His mouth's suction against her wet folds was sending shivers of pure pleasure up and down her body, almost fulfilling her thirst for sexual gratification, almost. Gasping out slightly whenever Juice's teeth clamped down gently on her clit, licking and sucking at it a few times as well, "Ohh.. right there!" she moaned. Juice kept this up, her hand clinging to the top of his head while the other grasped against her own breast, squeezing down on it, moaning out his name and a few curse words through the ecstasy. Juice got the woman to her climax in no time, it had been awhile for her in this department and with both his mouth and fingers working at her pussy, it wasn't very hard to get her to the very release, plus Juice knew exactly how she liked it.

Huffing out, her body hunched forward, body trembling as her thighs trapped him between her legs, both hands against his head now while she came, he knew she was there and wanted to make her last moments worth it. Sucking hard against her clit while he was trapped, thrusting a few fingers hard inside of her opening, feeling the squishy walls tighten against the fingers that dug inside while he did so. Alyssa's eyes rolled back, her lips parted more while she moaned, almost yelled, god he knew how to work her body and it was showing. Hips thrusting with the movements of his fingers before stilling with the full blown release, head flying back to let out her last loud moan, back arching with the pleasure of his mouth while he lapped up the juices that spilled from her.

Trying to catch her breath, Alyssa pulled Juice's face away from her numbness and back up to face her, "I love you too." She smiled. Pulling him up further for a deep kiss, not caring if she tasted herself on his lips, all she wanted was to love on him some more, enjoy the love she felt for him in this moment.

However, a sudden knock to the door snapped both of their attentions, Bobby stood looking over the two of them, shaking his head slightly, "I didn't know when you'd horny fucks would finish... bu-Jesus, get dressed." He stopped. Turning completely around while the two scrambled to cover the parts that were out in sight. They had forgotten to shut the door and who knows how long he had been there or how much of their sexual escapades he heard but all that mattered was to get the hell dressed. Juice zipped himself up and fixed his shirt before throwing a sheet from the bed to the woman, covering herself by wrapping it around her whole body, trying to find her pants.

"You can come in Bobby!" Alyssa called. She'd found her pants hidden behind the desk and wiggled into them, still covering herself in the sheet when Bobby returned. Bobby seemed like something was completely wrong and by the way he held his body Alyssa could tell. Grabbing Juice's arm, she stood behind him, the couple nodding at the older man. "Frankie… he took Chibs as a hostage to get away after holding Jax, Lyla, Nero, and me at gunpoint. He shot Lyla.." Bobby confessed after taking a seat on the bed, staring up at the shocked bodies in front of him.

"What?" the couple responded in unison, taken by the sudden news, Alyssa squeezed the arm she held, news like this was always a shock but when it was dealing with the people she loved, it got her unbelievable upset and ready for action.

"Is everyone okay?! Is L-Lyla okay? Oh god! Is anyone looking for Chibs!? ...W-What do we do?!" she paniced, head spinning with all the thoughts of what could have happened, what could be happening as they spoke. The feeling of horrible guilt filled her body, the two could have helped, been useful, if they weren't here, doing shit they weren't even supposed to be doing in the first place. '_I shouldn't have let him...-_' Alyssa thought, feeling the pain fill her body all over again, this was probably the last time for a while that Alyssa would let Juice touch her, there was too much going on to relax and give in to lust, plus she was starting to feel dirty after that whole experience, she really wasn't ready for such intimacy with him just yet.

Bobby spoke up, pulling her out of her thoughts. "All we can do… wait." Bobby sighed, clutching the bridge of his nose, rubbing the skin roughly before looking back at the two.

"Shit.." Alyssa whispered, letting go of Juice and back to the chair, slumping into it while holding her head, lost for words, how could anyone just sit and wait?

"Jax is outside… if you have any questions." Bobby sighed once more before getting up, not caring whether or not the two to followed him outside.

"We'll get Chibs back." Juice spoke up after the slight pause, his hand grasping tightly onto Alyssa's arm, both of them refusing to look at one another. Then Juice was gone, following Bobby out.


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry for such bad updating time, I haven't been myself with my grandfather's passing.

It's hard to write when you don't feel like doing anything, so please forgive me and I'll be back to all this soon.

* * *

**-CHAPTER ELEVEN**

With the finding of Chibs a few days later, nothing but happiness filled the clubhouse while waiting for Chibs' safe return. This member was loved by pretty much everyone and the hour of waiting was agonizing, Alyssa just wanted to know if he was okay already, to ease the feeling of dread in her stomach. She was now mainly worried that he might have some new scars to add to the list. However, with the sounds of vehicles and slamming of doors, everyone in waiting had gotten up and nearly scrambled to get outside. Alyssa, herself had ran out to greet him along with Juice,

"Oh god! Are you okay?" Alyssa croaked, grabbing Chibs by the face and looking him over worriedly, hesitating before pulling him into a tight embrace.

Staring back at the worried mother to be, Chibs shook his head, "Ayeee lassy, I'm fine, I'm fine," Chibs scoffed, gladly returning the hug with an equally tight squeeze, the two releasing after a few moments.

Alyssa stepped away to give everyone else a turn to reassure he was fine and to catch up, she watched the guys embrace the injured man briefly before taking a seat alone on one of the benches outside. Alyssa was thankful he was back and everything had been alright, that he was alright. The few days of stressing over the loved one did nothing but fuel horrible sickness within her, this child didn't like when mother was upset and showed it in the most gut wrenching ways, not doing much to help her feel better at all.

Glancing up once again, Alyssa caught Bobby as he started walking in her direction, quickly grabbing his hand before he was able to pass by and disappear into the clubhouse for a drink, giving a gentle squeeze. Feeling the tears start overwhelm her, she nodded up to him, a small smile hitting her cheeks before releasing him; that was in a way her own kind of silent thanks for finding the Scott and bringing him home safe. Being pregnant made her too emotional lately, so she tried her hardest to show thanks without tears in the best kind of ways; no guy liked to deal with a sobbing pregnant woman.

* * *

Everyone had been chatting the head off of Chibs before Jax made an appearance, embracing and showing the complete joy of seeing Chibs alive and well, a few more words exchanged between the members before Jax had asked that one question everyone was dying to know. _"What the hell happened?"_ Chibs went on about the details of what had happened to him, everyone's eyes on him while he did. Alyssa cringing along with Jax and the few others once Chibs showed off the huge stitches in the back of his skull, all thanks to Frankie; the poor man couldn't get a break with the back of his head. Alyssa only catch a few words from Happy as he reappeared from his phone call, hearing the only ones that mattered. Frankie was found back in Tahoe and he was going to fucking pay,

"Alright. Let's go." Jax spoke up, patting Happy on the back before slipping inside, the rest following, leaving miss pregnant alone.

Resting for just a little while longer, Alyssa lifted up from her stop at the table and started to clean up, the one task that made her happiest lately; emptying the cigarette ashes and butts into the trash can first, covering her nose and mouth with the edge of her shirt, cigarette smells had started to make her sick and the ashtray was killing her stomach. Moving on to picking up the many empty beer bottles, these damn guys were not the cleanest bunch, the only one she could never blame would have to be Happy, that clean freak picked up after himself every time. After dusting off the few tables, the work actually broke a slight sweat on her forehead,

"Shit.." she sighed out loudly once sitting back down against the table closest to the clubhouse entrance, fanning herself, being pregnant wasn't too difficult just yet, the only major problem for Alyssa had to be the nausea, which seemed to hit at any hour of any day, not just mornings. Then there was the fatigue and dizzy spells, which wasn't much fun, due to her having a pretty active lifestyle, both hit her hard and made her feel sort of useless; the whole pregnancy so far was tiring, she wasn't a fan, not in the very least.

"Go inside, the air's on." Juice's voice appeared after sometime, a hand pressed against Alyssa's back, she had re-positioned herself so that she could lay her head on her arms, one of those said dizzy spells had hit her hard and the heat wasn't helping, she somehow managed to pull her hair into a high ponytail, something to aid in her cool down.

"Can't… too dizzy… to hoooot." She complained, not bothering to open her eyes.

"Oh god… come on, you have to get inside then," Juice pressed, pulling at one of her arms gently, not wanting a repeat of last time when he pulled her too hard and too fast, causing Alyssa to throw up on the both of them.

With a loud groan, she complied and turned around, "I can't move... too pregnant, carry me," she whined jokingly,

"You're like six weeks, you can walk," He laughed, intertwining her fingers with his as she lifted from the table.

The fresh cool air hit her sweaty forehead once completely inside, pulling a sigh of relief from her lips. "We're heading up to Tahoe… going to try and get Frankie, I'll be back later. Think you'll be okay?" Juice spoke after dropping her off on the couch and handing her a cold bottle of water,

"Yeah… I still have to work, believe it or not. I'll ask a prospect to take me home once I get off," She smiled, "Make him pay," Alyssa added, waving Juice off once the water hit her lips. Planting a kiss on her forehead and a stupidly amazing lopsided smile, Juice left, catching up with Happy before the others.

* * *

"Able was released... We'll be back home in a few hours, you can come over if you'd like… or tomorrow, he really misses you." Tara's voice responded from the other end, Alyssa's sleepy face still pushed up against a pillow, she somehow managed to sneak into the apartment and was able to slip in a nap on her break before the phone woke her up, "Oh thank god. I'll see if I can head over tomorrow.. this kid of mine has me way too tired tonight." She smiled to herself, a hand resting against her stomach. After an exchange of laughs and thirty minutes of small talk, the two hung up, yawning, Alyssa lifted off the bed and stretched her aching body, moving slow as she made the bed.

"You're finally awake, want to head home?" Juice murmured from behind her, strong arms pulling her into a hug,

She smiled. "Hmmm… you're back already? I was just about to ask for a ride, home sounds great," looking over her shoulder and staring back at Juice, squeezing gently against the arms around her stomach. The two stayed tangled within each other's arms for a while, enjoying the warmth and safety they gave one another; hands clinging together, the couple headed out, to both their surprise, Alyssa could stomach being on the back of Juice's bike, they both guessed that the baby was going to enjoy this kind of lifestyle.

"I still have something to do for Clay tonight… think you can handle being alone for a little bit longer?" Juice confessed after they had reached Juice's house, the pout on her lips only causing him to smile. He usually took Alyssa to his house if he was planning on being away for a while, knowing the smell of him calmed her enough while he was absent,

"Just for a few hours, I swear… you'll be asleep the second you get inside," He laughed out, pulling her close,

"I guess… ugh. I'm getting tired of falling asleep alone you know…" Alyssa confessed herself, laying tiredly against his chest, yawning once more, "…just hurry up." She added before pulling away from him and heading inside, she waved him off again for the night and like Juice predicted, the moment her head fell against the pillow and the overpowering smell of the man she felt so hard for hit her nose, she fell right asleep, covers pulled up to her chin.

* * *

Waking up alone the next morning, Alyssa wasn't surprised, Juice was just as busy as ever; lifting up and heading into the bathroom, a nice showering down before setting the tub up for a long warm bath, her head leaning back against the wall, staring up at nothing but the ceiling. Sighing to herself, Alyssa's hands moved down to her stomach, "Your daddy sucks…you know that?" She smiled. Resting both hands against her stomach, she got lost in the thoughts of the newness her life would soon become once the little one was out and about, both fear and happiness filling her body, would she really be a good mother? Stepping out of the bathroom once drying off her body, Alyssa kept the towel in hand while she dried her hair, moving across the room and over to the dresser, looking through one of the few drawers that were her's, pulling out a tank top and stealing a pair of Juice's boxers, she placed both on the top of the dresser to continue with her drying off. Eyeing herself in the mirror that attached to the dresser the moment she placed the towel on the side, her body didn't look much different at least with the pregnancy, still too early to show, but her face told otherwise, just slightly. A fresh pink scar on her forehead from the fight with Carla a while back, stared back at her, she hated it but was now apart of her, she would just have to deal. Her lip, however, was completely healed, same with the bruising on her hands, nothing too different, which calmed her, she still wasn't ready for sudden changes.

After slipping into the tank top and boxers, Alyssa walked out of the room, the hunger cravings was starting to hit her slowly, and she needed something sweet right about now. Walking past the living room and right into the kitchen, fixing a quick bowl of cereal, she turned to walk back into the room but a figure in the living room startled her.

"J-Jesus!" She yelped, the flinch of her body almost knocking the bowl right from her hands, calming down slightly once realizing it was Juice that was on the couch, "W-Why didn't you say anyt-… what's wrong?" Her heart dropped, his head was being clenched hard by his hands, rocking back and forth on the couch.

Juice's silence only worrying her further, darting to his side instantly, she placed the bowl on the coffee table, "Baby.." she shushed, kneeling down in front of him, grabbing his wrists to pull his hands away from his head slowly,

"What happened?" she asked, trailing a few kisses against his arms before dropping them on his thighs, still attached at his wrists.

"Jax… Jax knows… everything.. about Eli and me… Miles… everything.." He cracked, moving his head to look at her, he had been crying for a while, eyes puffed and red, this was bad, really bad.

"What's going to happen to you… to us?" Alyssa pressed, asking questions was easier than panicking all of a sudden,

"I … I don't know… I just have to listen to him… to Jax… do everything he says, he said he wouldn't put me being a rat on the table if I did," He added, moving his head forward and against her shoulder, sobbing into her neck.

Teeth dug into Alyssa's bottom lip as she pulled him close, protecting his weaken body, embracing him tightly, "…good… good.. that's good baby, right? … shh.." She consulted, kissing his trembling shoulder a few times before keeping her lips pressed against it completely, her hands rubbing his back gently all the while.

"…. I'm… I'm scared Alyssa.." he cried, sobbing harder into her neck, his grip against her sides tightened painfully as he spilled his sadness into her body. Clinging onto one another for a while before Juice had spoken again, "I… I have to go.. get something for Jax.. I'm sorry… for this… all this shit, I don't want my family to suffer because of me.." hardly able to choke out before more tears dripped from his eyes as he pulled away, looking over her features quickly while getting off the couch and backing away from her,

"…we love you…" Alyssa whispered, not turning to face him while her own tears spilled from her eyes, clutching onto the couch for support, the slight sob from him echoing the house before the door slammed behind him,

"…you f-fucking idiot…!" She wailed, forcing her face into the couch, her body collapsing from it's kneeling position as she sobbed into the fabric, clinging onto it like her life depended on it, screaming her sorrow deep within the couch, the simple joy from her bath just moments ago tearing away from her mind with sudden hit from reality. A happy family would be the hardest thing to gain and this kind of lifestyle made it this way.

Sucking up the sorrow and replacing her soggy bowl of cereal for a fresh one, Alyssa kept to herself, putting on a movie and relaxing on Juice's couch, Alyssa tried all she could to keep from thinking about Juice, to not worry about him, to keep the food down, to keep the tears down, all this emotion was threatening to upset both her and the baby. Clicking off the TV, she had been dozing off during most of the movie anyways, she decided to move into the bedroom, picking up one of the books she kept around and settled comfortably in the sheets. Times like this, Alyssa hated when Juice was away, when she had time to think and time to worry, shaking off the feelings that threatened her all over again, her eyes catching on the framed picture of their baby's newest ultrasound.

Juice kept his own picture next to the bed on the nightstand, just like Alyssa did, a small smile crept up her face, thinking about that day all over again; he begged for hours for her to let him keep the ultrasound picture for himself, how much he whined about not having one to look at when he was away. Alyssa was glad she gave in, seeing it next to his bed only made her smile wider, helped to settle her out of control nerves; Juice was going to be a great dad, a real great one.

Waking up by the sound of the front door opening and closing, she didn't remember falling asleep, her book laid open on her chest, clearly the baby wanted mom to sleep and to not finish it. Rubbing her eyes, she reached for her cell phone, checking the time before Juice walked in, "You're home late.." Alyssa yawned out, rearranging herself to lay comfortably,

"..yeah, sorry. Should have called but I got caught up at the club." He sighed, dropping off his leather on the dresser before gathering a few things and disappearing in the bathroom without another word. Hearing the shower turn on, Alyssa picked the book back up, she wanted occupy herself, Juice was finally home for the night and she was actually able to get the chance of fall asleep with him, it was usually her who was out before he was even home.

"You want something from the kitchen? I'm pretty hungry," Juice asked coming from the bathroom, towel draped around his neck while he dried his ears, shirtless and in sweat pants, the sight of him like this reminding her of why she liked him being around, even with all the drama attached or if he wasn't making her laugh, Juice was easy on the eyes and Alyssa couldn't ever help but ogle at him, like she did when they first met.

"hmm…. Water is fine with me, thanks." She smiled from the pillow, eyes looking over every muscle as he crossed the room and out to the kitchen, listening to his ruckus before it fell silent, she guessed he was eating, they both hated crumbs in the bed so she didn't mind his absence, just knowing he was home was good enough. The water he brought back with him brought more thanks from her, she was happy he didn't forget the needs of his pregnant lady, sitting up to grab it from him, she took a few gulps while he walked back into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Placing the cup on her side of the bed after a few more drinks, Alyssa brought her legs up to her chest, hugging them from under the blanket,

"Are we going to be okay?" Alyssa asked a bit loudly, hoping he would hear over the water, which he did,

"What do you mean?" Juice asked back with a full mouth, turning the water off while she continued,

"…us… this kid...you... Is everything going to be okay?" she revised, looking at the direction of the bathroom, Juice stayed silent while he finished up, reappearing with a sad smile.

"I hope so… I want this to work out with us and I want to be the best dad I can be." He pointed out weakly, sitting at the edge of the bed, removing the rings from his fingers and placing them in a small dish on his nightstand before spreading out on the bed,

Alyssa sighed. "And you will be, I know that. I just hope I can be a good mom… protect my family… keep them safe, I don't want this kid getting hurt..." Her words only hurting herself, putting her back in a sour mood like before.

Juice frowned. "You kidding me? You're going to be the best mom. You'll do a hell of a lot better job at protecting this kid than I ever will, I'm kind of scared to see momma' bear Alyssa." The laugh he spilled out sent waves of happiness through her,

"Yeah… one of us has to be the smart one and keep the kid safe." She teased, poking at his rib gently and him swatting her away in return,

"Yeah, yeah. I'm the retard, I get that," He smiled, grabbing her wrist and pulling her down against him, assaulting her face with kisses, the two laughing without a care in the world for a long needed time before settling into bed. Alyssa gulped slightly, planting a kiss against his lips before settling herself on his chest, an arm wrapped around his upper torso, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulder, pressing her closer into him while they drifted off easily, tangled within one another.

* * *

Sending Chucky into the office to help out Gemma, Alyssa busied herself with cleaning up around the clubhouse, she was tired of being home all day doing nothing and after getting used to ignoring Gemma after her last day of work, it was getting easier, and poor Chucky wasn't on the good end of the stick, being sent to run around the yard as the two women begged for his help, Alyssa refused to help Gemma in any way and would ask Chucky to do what she asked instead, Gemma would just had to deal with it.

"uhh.. hey. Jax is talking with Gemma, want me to help you instead?" Chucky's nervous voice hitting her ears as she roughly scrubbed the bar's tabletops,

"Ah, yeah, actually. Can you empty and refill this soap bucket, this bar is fucking gross." She huffed, lifting the heavy bucket toward him, thanking him as he bowed at her a few times and ran off to do as she asked,

"Weirdo." She laughed, going back into the scrubbing battle with the bar, getting the caked vomit and alcohol off.

A familiar cough brought Alyssa's eyes off the tabletops, meeting face-to-face with Gemma, "What do you want?" Alyssa snapped, dropping her eyes from the queen and back to cleaning,

"Oh drop the act. You and me both know that this can't keep continuing- this ignoring thing." Gemma snapped back, both hands going to her hips,

"Oh, it can't? Gemma, you almost killed my nephews, you really think I _can't _ignore you for the rest of my life? You're a mother-in-law, not my mom, not that important." Alyssa scoffed, shaking her head, throwing the rag off to the side and folding her arms under her bust, glaring up at the older woman.

"Ouch." Gemma sighed, taking a seat in a chair, staring up at Alyssa,"Your sister's in trouble. Thought you might want to hear from me than before it's too late, if it's too late." Gemma confessed, giving a broken look at Alyssa, her tough exterior breaking slightly, which was a rare thing coming from the queen of the sons.

Alyssa frowned hard, hesitating with any further conversation. "Fuck me… what now?" Alyssa broke, taking a seat next to Gemma, following every word she spoke about Otto and what was going on between him and her sister. Thanking Gemma for the heads up, the two women continued to avoid one another, like nothing had happened or that anything was said, going back to their many duties of the club.

"I need alcohol!" Happy's raspy voice booming alongside the rushing footsteps of the few crew members behind him, Alyssa looking up and almost yelled at the sight of his face being covered with blood,

"H-Happy!?" She cracked, catching Gemma's attention from the wildness of her voice,

"Shhhhit!" Gemma whispered, getting up from her own seat and moving him to a table, Chibs' hollering about keeping him company as he went to get some medical supplies from the back, Alyssa complied, reaching his bloody side with a bottle of something that would burn the senses,

"The hell Happy? You crazy ass bastard." She sighed, watching him take a few swig of the bottle, a stupid smile on his face from the burn,

holding up the bottle slightly, "You know me so well." He winked, going back to the bottle once Chibs returned. Alyssa took the opposite seat from Gemma, taking Happy's other hand while Chibs started to mess with the wound, Nero and Jax arguing about something Alyssa didn't want to know, tuning them out as she watched Chibs.

Taking a towel and whipping the blood from Happy's face before he started to swatted at her, "I'm fine mom, get off me!" He snapped jokingly, taking the towel and smearing the blood on his face even worse,

"Hap- Oh god! You're so stubborn! You're smearing the shit all over!" She barked laughing, snatching the towel back and handing him a new one,

"Get behind your ears, I gotta' get back to work." Alyssa teased, petting Happy's hand before letting go and lifting off the chair, heading over to Trager who was enjoying his seat at the bar, patting his shoulder before getting back to deep cleaning the bar.

* * *

The next day happened slowly, Juice came home and went straight to bed last night and left for the club before either of their alarms went off that morning, leaving so many questions throughout Alyssa's mind while she worked, the silence between Gemma and her through the office only made it worse, slower even. The sudden screaming and crashing outside sending both women to their feet and out the door, alarmed by both the sounds and the group of men watching as Jax choked out Clay,

"W-What the fuck?" Alyssa gasped, looking away from the scene and to Gemma, her surprised look only confusing her more, slowly peeling her eyes from Gemma and back to the mess, Alyssa wrapped her arms around herself, a hand covering her slightly gaping mouth. Jax threw off every member that tried to stop him, punching Clay in the face each time he was free, after a few more punches, Trager and Chibs were able to pull Jax away from Clay's bloody face and yelled for him to calm down,

"Come on baby… we have work to finish." Gemma hesitated, moving a hand over Alyssa's shoulder,

Without shrugging Gemma off, like usual now, she nodded. "…Yeah," taking Gemma's lead and following back into the office, neither of the women too concerned with the fact that Clay was bleeding just inches away from them, too much damaged had been done to them by him, too much hate to care.

Even after denying to help, Clay still made his way into the office and back to Gemma, she sighed and lifted from the desk, moving to his side on the couch, "Can you handle some of this for me?" Gemma pleaded with Alyssa, not wanting to deal with Clay Alyssa agreed happily, moving her attention to the desk and the papers on it. Unser followed inside a few minutes later with a pack for Gemma, trying to stop the blood flow from the gash on his head, she finally spoke up,

"Some of these need stitches…" Gemma confessed, pressing the gauze harder against Clay's forehead, Unser standing by the door, watching over the whole process, ready to help when asked.

"Can you uh… just give me a minute alone." Clay spoke, loud enough for everyone, even Alyssa who had been watching from the corner of her eyes as she worked on the papers, cleared her throat and nodded, lifting from behind the desk and following the two others out of the office, passing Gemma as she glanced at Clay once before closing the door behind them. Clay spent a decent time alone but was soon asking for a ride home, seeing as he was on usual Clay duty, Juice offered to take him. Alyssa followed behind Juice, as he helped Clay into the car and made sure he was alright, getting settled into the driver's seat a few seconds after. Talking for a little while about when he'd be back or if Alyssa was scheduled to anymore appointments today, Alyssa moved her attention off Juice and slightly glanced at Clay's defeated figure.

"you….okay?" Alyssa murmured, the cut stopped bleeding but the area around it started to swell, closing off the eye,

A weak laugh came from him before he dropped his own gaze, "Shitty… but I'll survive," keeping his attention on whatever it was that was in his hand, Alyssa hummed in response, that was more than enough idle chat with him for a life time. Moving her eyes back to Juice, she smiled weakly at him, the hand she had been keeping on his arm moved up to his face, caressing his cheek gently, he smiled back leaning into her hands some and nodded towards her, a silent goodbye as he started the truck and waited for her to be far enough away from the vehicle before driving off.

"You still at the club?" Gemma's voice wondered after a long wait from Alyssa's end, still not too keen with Gemma, Alyssa hesitated before answering her call,

"Where in the hell would I be?" She scoffed, moving her cell phone to the other shoulder as she continued with reorganizing the filing cabinets,

"Good. We're having a lock down, some shit with the Irish, be there soon with Nero and Lyla." Gemma added before hanging up, Alyssa cursing under her breath, forcing the phone back into her pockets, "What else is new..?" she asked no one, letting the question disappear in the silence.

"Chucky!" She yelled, waiting for the awkward man to run to her side,

"Yes, yes?" he replied once peeking into the office,

"Lock down hon, let the prospects know. I have a lot of shit to do here." Alyssa confessed, sighing loudly, slamming the heavy papers on the desk as Chucky blurted out some sort of poem before doing as he was told.

Alyssa's mood grew brighter once seeing Lyla, "Heyyy pretty lady. How's your battle scar?" She teased, Lyla's bullet hole was healing nicely and she was up, moving around in no time. Seeing one another after sometime, the two women pulled each other into a tight embrace,

"I'm still fighting pretty, you know me." Lyla smirked sending a wink at Alyssa, entangling an arm within hers,"How's your Juicy baby?" She smiled, her other hand caressing Alyssa's stomach as they walked inside of the clubhouse, a few other had showed up long before Gemma and her passengers, so the scene was lively.

Only getting livelier as time went on, Lyla was playing a game of pool with Nero and a few other women, Alyssa watching in the background, one of her worst subjects and she hated loosing, so she kept a distance away from the pool table. Taking a few congratulations on the pregnancy from some of the family members of the club and denying offers of weed and shots, Alyssa was actually having a good time, a lock down was always fun, even with the constant worry in the back of everyone's mind, seeing one another was comforting to everyone, how a family should be.

"It's almost time for Clay to be completely patched out of the club." Juice pointed out, leaning against Alyssa's shoulder while he finished off a beer,

"Hmm…better get going then?" she added, moving away from him and off the couch, she turned to face him and offer her help to get him up, pulling him off the couch and following close to his side as they merged with the rest of the sons outside, Juice pressed his lips against her forehead once they reached close to the garage. Everyone was inside, waiting for Clay to take the lone seat in the middle of the group.

"You going to watch this?" He asked before letting her go, Alyssa leaned against his bike, nodding slightly,

"I… I really want to…" She confessed, staring at the scene before her, Juice had slipped into the mess of things while Gemma stepped out from the office and Clay took his seat.

Pressing her thumb hard against her wrist where her own ink lived, watching with a slight cringe as Happy began the blacking out process on Clay's back, not being able to imagine the pain from it, both physically and mentally. Jax slipped away from the crowd and near Alyssa, lighting a cigarette before settling on his bike, a few bikes away from the woman,

"Ride safe brother," She smiled weakly at him, his face unreadable to her,

"Always will sis'," He added with a nod before taking off, leaving while everyone was busy watching Happy and Clay in silence. Happy moved on to the next reaper on Clay's body, his arm. Bobby and Alyssa had moved in unison, he left the crowd and moved his attention to his bike, like the President before him, he was gone and Alyssa managed slither up against Juice, true these ritual were sacred but she was well known from all the men in that garage, so not a single person said a word as she joined in and watched closely. The black ink shimmered under the light of the garage, it's blackness completely covering up the reaper of Clay's arm. Eyes dropping once it was done, Alyssa met the eyes of the reaper on Juice's arm, her hands moving to touch it gently, taking in the detail before looking up at him and his pained face, even though she hated Clay, Juice didn't. Juice was loyal to him, even after all the shit he had done, and this whole process pained him, it was written all over his face.

"It'll be okay.." she whispered into his ear, pressing a gentle kiss on his cheek before pulling away, the two stealing a look at one another while she back out of the garage, having enough images to last her a lifetime and feeling the need to leave. Alyssa loved the club but she also knew that some things were more private than others, this was something the men needed to experience together, without any of their ladies around.


	12. Chapter 12

**-CHAPTER TWELVE**

"Come on preggers," Gemma whispered as she pulled the sleeping woman up, Alyssa had only groaned out her protests, too tired to open her mouth, her heavy head dropping forward as Gemma tried harder to lift her off the couch,

"noo… why? I'm pregnant, leave me alone…" Alyssa finally whined from the constant movement, grumbling loudly as she lifted up slowly, only slightly helping out the older woman but still protesting the move.

"You're not disabled just yet. That belly isn't nearly big enough for that to happen," Gemma laughed, patting the still flat stomach at Alyssa's front, she wasn't showing at all, still in the first trimester. Though, Juice could tell anyone otherwise, explain how much the woman complained about how tightly her favorite pair of jeans fit, how much she cursed him for making her 'fat'. Neither of the parents were worried however, their doctor had explained everyone was different and this was a normal occurrence; which sat just fine with the mother, more time to still look good.

Scoffing at the older queen, Alyssa stretched out her aching arms and legs, the further she got with the pregnancy, the more she had to stop and take a nap, multiple times a day, which was getting rather old, she hated wasting her days like that. Only slightly thankful to Gemma for waking her up, Alyssa promised to help cook breakfast with the woman that morning and was happy to actually be awake at a normal time for it, be useful for once.

Juice had dropped Alyssa off the night before, him and some other members had club business to take care of before sunrise and Juice was never comfortable leaving the woman alone, she meant too much to him and he knew all too well what could happen to an Old Lady if left alone, he wasn't about to let that happen, not to his. Even though he still had yet to ask if she would be his official Old Lady; too scared of rejection and not used to all the love he felt for this one girl. The headstrong, cranky mother of his child, the one who still denied him any sort of affections- she was still too raw from his cheating of before, damn woman can keep a grudge. So he decided it best to just be there for her, let her warm up to him again before crowing the already crowed woman.

Washing up some of dinner's dishes from last night, Alyssa was full awake by now, with no help from her tiny ass cup of coffee, doctor's orders, she helped the queen the best she could, still not a fan of the older woman but had to push those feelings aside for the boys- they needed to know family would always be there for them, even with mommy away. "What's on the menu?!" Happy barked, startling the two women as he walked in,

"Christ happy, you're going to kill me over here!" Alyssa snapped back, swatting the man with a damp towel, Happy was assigned watch today and Alyssa was thrilled, she missed having the company. The smell of bacon sizzling in a pan, filled the air only a few minutes later, Gemma was working on making lots of tiny pancakes for the adorable grandchild that was in the room.

Looking over her shoulder, Alyssa smiled. "Able, baby, ask Happy if he can pour you some milk." Alyssa insisted while working on mixing a large pan of scrambled eggs, working as quick as she could, the kitchen was tiny and the two women kept bumping into one another. Happy was great with children, to everyone's surprise but Alyssa's, he was one of those men who didn't think he deserved a family but needed one to calm the hell inside of him, Alyssa always wanted to see him settle down but he was in too deep with the club for that to happen. At least he could always fill the hole with the club member's little ones, no child would be safe with him. Thankfully, neither bacon or eggs took that long too cook, "I'm all done here, thanks for the pancakes." Kissing Gemma on the cheek quickly, mainly out of habit, Alyssa joined Happy and Able at the table. Able was waiting patiently for everyone else to eat, even though he was the only who was hungry at the moment, busying himself with Happy.

"When are you getting an Old Lady and some kids?" Alyssa teased, jabbing Happy's side, waiting until after he had finished his very serious conversation with the child.

"Noooooo, no. You Old Ladies are trouble, don't need it," He denied, shaking his healing head multiple times, Able copying him with giggles.

Scoffing a bit, Alyssa frowned, "What do you mean, '_you_ Old Ladies?' I'm not an Old Lady, still haven't been crowed in that way." She laughed, moving her attention to her nephew because she knew that Happy would have many questions about the subject and frankly, she didn't want to hear them.

She wouldn't have to because Jax appeared within the same moment, catching everyone's attention now.

Happy was quick to greet Jax as he walked into the kitchen with Thomas in hand, Alyssa smiling and reaching up, patting the little one's butt before gripping at Jax's arm, squeezing it, anticipation from seeing that cute chubby face.

Jax bent the two down, giving Alyssa's cheek a quick kiss, "Good morning 'Lyss." He smiled back after standing up straight, waving one of Thomas' little hands at her, acting surprised. Alyssa gasped and waved back at the little boy, the smile one his face warming her soul,

"Good morning you handsome boys." She cooed in a baby voice, wrinkling her nose playfully as Jax moved on to Gemma taking that cute baby away.

Greeting his mother with a kiss, Jax handed the baby over the moment Thomas started to struggle, Alyssa getting up to help, moving over to the baby's side, buckling him into the seat as Gemma moved to get him some snacks, Jax moved back to greet his older son. Able's next words stopping everyone in their tracks, _"When's mommy coming home daddy?"_ his little voice echoed the room, Alyssa's heart dropping and having to turn away, whenever Able asked for his mom she cried herself to bed and looks like she was going to add another night of tears to the list.

Jax promising that Tara would be home soon was just as bad, Alyssa hated promises that were filled with lies, never sat right with her. "You got him?" Gemma asked, Alyssa looking up at her once she realized the question was directed at her and nodded,

"This one's mine," She teased weakly, trying not to let the little slip ruin her day, turning back to the baby who was shoving eggs into his mouth, another smile soon shined on her features, goodness that was a cute baby. Jax and Gemma talked about other things as Gemma moved to the sink, Alyssa having a full on battle of noises with her nephew, nibbling his chubby little cheeks and beeping his nose, anything to have that bubbly laughter fill her ears.

"I'm gunna' go see Tara." Jax announced, stealing looks at the women in the room, who didn't know what to say at the moment, before landing on Happy, Jax wanted to ride alone but Happy, being so loyal wasn't going to let that happen,

"You can help us with the monsters." Gemma insisted, nodding over at Alyssa and Thomas,

"Yeah, you haven't seen anything until you've witnessed monster Able, we'll need the extra hands." Laughing, Alyssa added, winking at the older child who was protesting and shaking his head like a crazy person at being called a monster. Very hesitantly, Happy agreed to keep the women and children company, let the president have what he desired.

Jax made his goodbye rounds around the kitchen before slipping out, leaving the house slightly quiet in his absence after the roars of his bike died out.

Happy spilling words of honor for his president, "..His old man would be proud." He added, staring up at the smirking queen,

A loud sigh interrupted the moment, "Aw, Hap... How cute," Alyssa insisted, staring at the special moment she just had to ruin with a teasing smile,

"Ahh, shut up." He scoffed, trying his hardest to hide his own smirk, Gemma laughing at the two and served breakfast for the adults,

Waving Alyssa over, Gemma sat down, "Able still hasn't touched his food, we all better eat with him or we'll never make it back to TM." Gemma pointed out, Happy and Alyssa nodding in agreement,

"Come on big boy, come sit at the table." Alyssa giggled, taking a few more nibbles at Thomas' cheeks before pulling his high chair closer to the adults, taking her seat next Happy.

Finishing breakfast and running around the house trying to coax Able into the car took about an hour or so before they were all settled and ready to leave. The trip there not as bad, the two women managed to get Able singing with them while the radio blasted song of their younger days, it's cute how much listening to a single song can stick with the children listening to it. Slipping out from Gemma's van once reaching Teller-Marrow, Alyssa watched Trager dart over and grab Able from the back,

"Thank god for you guys, he's so hyper today. Let's ware him out, ya'?" Alyssa spoke, wrinkling her nose as Able stuck his tongue out at her from Trager's arms, the man laughing at the two and joining Able with the teasing of the aunt.

"Oh! Look out… Grandma's got a gun." Trager pointed out, Chucky handed a toy over to Gemma who confessed that it was for her new love thangs' kid, "Let's go awake up Uncle Touchy." Trager spoke out once more, turning on his heels and taking the child over to Unser's trailer,

Blinking, Alyssa frowned. "Uncle Touchy….?" she questioned to herself, looking after the backs of the two boys, she watched Able bang at Unser's door and decided enough time was wasted, heading into the office, duty called one way or another.

* * *

"Heeyy. I need some water, like now.." Alyssa's hunched body stumbled inside, the morning sickness was hitting just as hard as ever and it never seemed to hit in the mornings anymore, more like every minute after eight o'clock. Slumping into a stool next to Chibs' Alyssa cried out,

"…remind me to kill the father when he gets back…" she moaned, chugging down the water bottle set next to her, as long as she was sitting with some water her body was alright and the vomit stayed away until it was time to eat.

Shaking his head a few times, Chibs' laughed, "Poor 'lass… Fiona wasn't like this with Karrianne… don't know how to help," Chibs' confessed, rubbing her back gently, a beer in his other hand, she was happy that the beer wasn't his full attention, she needed some fatherly love.

"Mmmeh…" she countered, placing her chin on the bar's surface, closing her eyes, but the peace was short lived, the sound of clopping high heels entered the clubhouse and with her eyes snapping open, she wasn't happy with that ran in. That porn star, Ima had ran inside screaming for Jax, a few men just as upset as Alyssa with her reappearance,

"What the fuck do you want!?" Alyssa snapped, slamming her hand on the bar, she was done with Ima and her constant need for Jax's attention, Alyssa wouldn't let the whore touch her sister's husband, not ever again.

"Please, I need your help…. Lyla's hurt really bad… please..." She wailed on the verge of tears, with Lyla's name spilling out, Alyssa was up and running after the blond, her other 'sister' was in trouble and with no questions asked, she was going to be there, period.

The moment Alyssa's body hit the floor and was darting out of her stool, Trager, Chibs, and Happy followed, both girls were their brother's ladies, meaning their family and someone important enough to protect at all times. With Lyla already hurt, they feared the pregnant one would do something to get herself in a shit-hole, like she had done before and they needed to make that wouldn't happen under their watch.

* * *

The scene that Ima drove them too was horrific, Lyla was beaten and stripped down to her underwear, "LYLA!" Alyssa screamed once catching sight of her dear friend, jumping right off Chibs' bike before he made a complete stop, both her stomach and the Scott disapproved greatly at her actions but she ignored them both and ran to the sobbing woman's side.

"Oh…o-oh god..!" Alyssa cracked, dropping to her knees and embracing her beaten body, Lyla had sobbed harder into Alyssa's arms, spilled a few ows when she had squeezed too hard,

"…Opie….Opie….!" The blond woman screamed into Alyssa's arms, shaking badly as she called out for her dead husband, Alyssa's heart racing and dropping all at the same time, not entirely sure on what to do next,

Gulping slightly, Alyssa's mind raced, thinking of places and people that would help explain the situation, then it hit. "D-Diosa, NOW!" She screamed, snapping her head back at the crowd before her, Happy and Trager nodded, moving Alyssa out of the way, lifting Lyla's body into Ima's back seat, Alyssa was already on the back of Chibs' bike before the other men returned to their own, all vehicles screeching down the street, making their way to the brothel.

Waiting this time for his bike to stop, Alyssa was off, "Nero!" Alyssa gasped out once dashing inside, "Lyla's hurt bad." She breathed, the look of panic hit his eyes once hearing Alyssa, turning to a window on one of the walls, yelling at it, Jax and Gemma making an appearance right as Lyla's sobbing body came trailing behind with the men.

Lyla broke down all over again once in Jax's arms, wailing for Opie as everyone shared looks of panic and questioning, Lyla didn't know what happened, so neither did anyone else. And that was fucking scary.

After another thirty minute break down, Lyla was starting to calm down, able to finally speak clear sentences, she explained what went down at the job offer she accepted. Not knowing the extent of the offer, Lyla walked into a set featuring torture porn, they refused to tell her details about the offer and ended up beating her, she had said that the more she begged for them to stop, the more she was beaten. Taken back by this, Alyssa shook her head, lifting off the couch, her stomach was not happy about the sudden mix of emotions and she needed to move around to calm it,

"I'm fine. Keep going." She pointed out, Lyla had stopped talking and looked up at Alyssa's twisted face, forcing everyone else's eyes as well, waving them off, she nodded at Lyla, who continued. Lyla needed the offer, she was really low on money with her now three kids, being too strong of a woman, Alyssa knew she wouldn't have accepted anyone's help if they offered. A few glares were given to Ima who had set Lyla up with the men, thinking they were good just because she met them once and they had references, Alyssa had scoffed happily once Jax had told her off, calling her a stupid whore and taking the address of the so called brothers' location. The men talked about how they were going to handle things with these guys, Nero suggesting talking with an ex-cop, who the guys didn't agree with, since the cops in charming worked with SAMCRO, they were scared that would be the same for this guy, agreeing they would check things out, it was settled.

"Come on, I'm taking you girls back to the club." Gemma sighed, retreating to grab her purse and fling it on, Alyssa getting up and taking a stance next to the queen as a few men took Lyla in the back to help her clean up and the others moving outside. A slight silence hit the room before Gemma walked slowly behind Ima, grabbing her by the back of the head and slamming her face into the surface of the bar, the sudden crack snapping Alyssa's head towards the noise,

Not too surprised, Alyssa shook her head, "Gemma…" she scoffed out, "Did you break it?" an amused smirk slipping onto both the women's faces before sensing eyes, those of a disapproving Chibs' who had been glaring at the demented women.

"She'll be fine." Gemma huffed, walking away, Chibs' eyes followed Gemma until going back to Alyssa,

"Leave the poor girl alone Lassy', come on," He demanded, grabbing at Alyssa's arm,

The moment he started to pull her away from Ima, Alyssa glared at the bloody woman, "You're so lucky you stupid bitch," Alyssa hissed out in a hushed tone, she knew Chibs could hear every word but she wanted to pretend that he didn't, keep her slight innocence fresh in his mind.

"Ayyyye, pregnancy has made you spiteful," Chibs sighed out, pushing the pouting woman after everyone else,

"….Blame Juice, not me." Alyssa's pout curling into a smile, the two laughed all the way into the back room, Chibs was in charge of patching up anyone's wound while Tara was away and the laughter had to come to a quick stop once he turned serious.

* * *

Alyssa swung back and forth on the swings as Able played ball with Unser, chatting with an sweet crow eater who kept her company, "Wait, hold that thought…" Alyssa interrupted the woman once her eyes caught sight of a familiar face, hopping off the swing and walking quickly at woman, watching her eyes stare at the little boy as she removed her sunglasses, walking quicker, Alyssa moved into the view, blocking the child, only slightly, Wendy was taller after all.

"What do you want?" Alyssa spat, manicured brows pulling up,

"Gemma, that's all." Wendy's arms threw up in defense, both of the women's faces turning as Gemma seemed to sense when something was off, closing the club door behind her as she stepped outside,

"What are you doing here?" Gemma repeated Alyssa's tone but with a different question,

"Lookin' for you." She replied placing her hands back down to her sides. "I heard what happened to Tara." She added, Alyssa just scoffed, sitting down on the bench they met at,

"Yeah…I guess that puts a wrench in your plans," Gemma spat back, dropping her purse down on the bench next to Alyssa's arms, the question twisting both Alyssa's and Wendy's faces in confusion.

Gemma just stared at the women like they were both idiotic, Gemma began, "Tara put together a will… That named YOU as guardian to those boys." Alyssa's face twisted even more, why was Gemma looking at Wendy while she spoke, there would be no way in hell Wendy would get those boys, not before she did,

"Excuse me?" Alyssa urged, staring up at Gemma wide eyed,

Who only nodded at a Alyssa with a fake grin, "Oh yeah, I read it myself." Gemma scoffed,

"I… I didn't ask her to do that." Wendy added before what Gemma said had processed through Alyssa's mind, not only did Tara deny wanting to see either her or her husband, she was now offering guardianship to the ex-junkie? What the hell was going through Tara's mind!? Wendy went on about how she couldn't take Able away from his father, how she was worried for her life and the child's if things did end up turning in that direction, begging for the two women to keep the little boy safe before trying to retreat.

"What if Tara tries to push that will on Jax?" Gemma added, making the ex-junkie turn around, denying the position as a guardian, spilling some out of nowhere confession of missing the place, forcing another scoff from Alyssa who kept quiet during the conversation, "The club sure doesn't miss you, never will," With her last dose of venom Alyssa retreated first into the clubhouse, Wendy was not going to come into this place and fuck up everything all over again, Alyssa wouldn't allow that, not when that junkie whore did more damage than good.

After checking up on Lyla and calming down after the lovely visit from Wendy, Alyssa walked around the office, cleaning up the small room, Gemma and her finally catching up on work and bills, getting things up to date. There wasn't much to do but wait for new calls and customers today, pretty boring. With the pregnancy came the slightly new behaviors, Alyssa hated to clean but the past few weeks and with her sister being locked up, all she could do to calm her nerves was to clean and clean for hours, cleaning was all that made her happy these days.

"What are you doing?" That amazingly familiar voice reached her ears,

turning to face him, she gave a weak smile, "You're finally home," Alyssa sighed out, grabbing a cup off the ground before straightening up, placing the trashcan down in it's usual place and dusting herself off. The couple stared at one another, unsure at what to say, it wasn't like they left things on a bad note but Alyssa saw the changes in him as well. He was different lately, after coming home from Clay's when he was arrested, Juice broke down, blaming himself for everything, which she knew wasn't true, not everything was his fault, he was too loyal to the man but what Jax made him do, how he made Juice betray the one person he respected so dearly was a little much. She could see how badly that was starting to hurt him inside but that's the punishment for being a rat, no matter how it is and that fucking sucked.

Feeling uneasy, Alyssa moved first, pressing her head into his chest, "How're you?"

"Tired, I just want to head home." He breathed, pulling her close and resting into her neck, pushing his face into her skin to hide himself from the world, the sudden lack of spark in his personality was upsetting. Alyssa tried everything she could think of to cheer him up, all but the sex, no matter how much time kept passing, she just couldn't let him touch her again, he still felt dirty and it broke her heart, and in small ways, like these, she was happy she wasn't an Old Lady. Their duties include making sure to keep their man happy in every single way and Alyssa couldn't, even though she knew that was adding to his lack of happiness, she would never be Old Lady material, even pregnant.

The constant thought of how she was failing him, tears started to form at the edge of her eyes, how could she make the man of her dreams so miserable? Alyssa dug her fingers into his back, squeezing him hard, "We'll go home soon… Just wait... can you bum it here with me for a while? We... we missed you." She tired, the mention of his child usually brought his spirits up,

"Yeah, sound good." He murmured into her skin, pulling their bodies down towards the couch, he wanted to stay in her arms for a little while longer, bathe in the warmth of her body against his and she didn't complain, if it helped in any way, she'd stay in his arms forever.

Alyssa moved her head away from Juice's chest, she didn't realize that she fell asleep against him, "sorry... I didn't-" she began, rubbing the sleep from her doe-eyes. Juice moved to kiss her lips, there were so many things about the woman he loved but it was this sleepy, grumpy face she got whenever she woke up that was his favorite, besides making her face twist with pleasure, he couldn't help but fall for her each and every time he saw that face. Her brows pulled up in surprise from the sudden kiss, she didn't move, kissing was the one thing she could do for him, his kisses were something she'd probably never be able to get over, the sex was also just as unforgettable but as of right now- it was just too tainted and this was as good as they could get.

Reality sucks, doesn't it?

After a small make-out session, Alyssa managed to coax Juice into getting a beer and to hang out with a few of his brothers, she had to check up on Lyla and didn't want to leave the man alone sulking in the office.

Lyla and Alyssa talked for a good three hours, about nothing and everything all at the same time, the usual women banter, once they got started talking, there wasn't much to shut them up, especially if they were such good friends. Alyssa had to stop randomly throughout the talk however, she wanted to make sure that Lyla was indeed okay, constantly asking if she needed anything.

"Good god woman, I'm fine, leave me alone," Lyla barked with a laugh, waving off the worried woman, Alyssa opened her mouth to counter but the sight of a prospect entering the room stopped her. Both women stared at the man awkwardly, "What's-" Alyssa started, "I think something's about to happen to Juice." Rat interjected after pacing the room a few times, she guessed he was listening in for the perfect time to act but not finding one, he acted the only other way he knew how.

"What? What do you mean?" Alyssa snapped her head from Rat to Lyla's, lifting her brows in question before moving her head back to Rat,

who shrugged his shoulders dramatically, "I-I don't know.. Chibs' told everyone in the garage to leave and for me to shut everything before I left... they are both still inside." He confessed, his eyes darting from the floor and to hers multiple times, panicked Alyssa thanked him for the heads up and dashed outside, the garage doors were all shut, like Rat said, but the office wasn't. A sudden crash echoed from inside and brought her feet running forward, coming to a stop in the office, huffing once inside, Gemma did a double-take before rushing in front of Alyssa, hiding her view of the window, but the sound of Juice's wail of pain forced Alyssa to push the queen with all her might, moving her from the window.

The sight before her send unimaginable panic within her body, "What are you doing!?" She screamed. Chibs' had beaten Juice to a bloody pulp and was still going at him with even more punches, raging chilling her body as she ran to the door,

"Alyssa, no!" Gemma yelled, grabbing the wild woman and pulling her away, the other hand of the queen grabbed at Alyssa's cheeks, forcing her to stare into her eyes,

"They need to do this. They need to get this shit out in the open!" Gemma hissed into Alyssa's face, squeezing tightly on her cheeks and forcing her to look back at the man she loved being beaten down by a brother, "He's not fighting back… he knows this needs to happen as well. Just leave them be." Ripping her face out of Gemma's grasp Alyssa walked closer to the window, rage spilling from her body with each hit Chibs' took, even more so when both of the men had glanced her way, Juice's eyes widened at the sight of her before taking another hit to the nose, huffing Chibs' nodded her way,

"I guess I need this too...," Alyssa's whisper shaken and low, maybe after Juice was beaten, he'd be reset into his old self again, maybe Chibs' had this beating dwelling inside of him for so long that it needed to come out before he did something worse to his beloved brother. After all the shit Juice put her through, Alyssa didn't mind the beating so much after taking it all in, he had been acting like a coward these past few weeks and that needed to change, the father of her child was no rat coward, the real father of this child was someone she felt safe with, someone who knew he was a bad ass and right now, before the kid was born, he needed to get it together.

"Yeah… I think we both did." Gemma replied after a few moments of silence, before heading out the office, Alyssa stayed and watched till the very last punch, this was Juice's punishment for all the shitty mistakes he's ever made and she needed to see it to the very end.

Chibs motioned for Alyssa's help and she complied, walking into the garage slowly, she took her place under Juice's other arm, heaving Juice out of the room arms wrapped around both of them as they headed back into the clubhouse. Alyssa kept silent as Chibs dropped off the two at the first couch they could get near, leaving to get the medical kit from a different room,

"I'm sorry.." Juice whispered, pulling weakly at the back of her shirt, forcing her a few steps back and beside him,

"…shhh…" she countered, pressing his bloody head against her hip, one of his arms slithered around her, wrapping around one of her thighs.

Sighing, Alyssa looked down at the bloody mass at her hip, to her surprise, Juice was smiling to himself as he pressed his cheek harder against her, Chibs must have hit him harder than she though. "You hurt him pretty good." Alyssa pointed out, whipping the blood from under Juice's nose, sitting on a chair in front of him as Chibs took his place on the side of the couch and started to patch up any cuts on Juice's face and head.

Petting at Alyssa's head, Chibs nodded staring at her from under his glasses, "That I did Lass… that I did."

He went back to his work after looking over Lyla, who was taking a few shots with Happy and being watched over by Chucky and Rat, "Thank you…" Alyssa whispered, the tears coming out of nowhere, spilling from her eyes and landing on the bloody towel in her hands that was being gripped too hard for it's liking. Sliding off her chair and dropping to the floor, Alyssa wrapped her arms around Juice's waist, sobbing into his stomach, she was starting to blame her hormones for any sudden change in emotions and right now, they were hitting her hard. Though, deep down, Alyssa felt that this was also the stepping stone she needed to forgive Juice herself, maybe this was a sign that things could get better from here on out, but still, it was going to be hard.

"I… I love you… Juuuannn…." She wailed out as another wave of sobs escaped her body, his arms squeezing around her tightly as he shushed her all over again, she was probably being too loud but he'd never say so, he was more worried that he wasn't going to be seeing that bright smile on her face after this, he was afraid that he was ruining everything all over again, if only he wasn't such an idiot.


End file.
